Three’s Company
(Alex’s phone goes off)
WHITNEY
Don’t answer it, come on we’re watching the news.
ALEX
Saturday Night Live is not the news
It’s Chloe
WHITNEY
Huh, your ex fiancé is texting you?
Nope, I don’t feel nothing.
ALEX
Yeah she says she has a job interview in the city this weekend and she wants to know if she can crash here.
WHITNEY
Yeah…No.
ALEX
You wanna hear something funny.
WHITNEY
What did you do?
ALEX
Well, last time I saw her I kinda mentioned if she was ever in town she could crash here.
WHITNEY
I’m sorry, what?
ALEX
I didn’t expect her to actually take me up on it. She’s just be crashing here for one night.
WHITNEY
Ok, first of all stop saying crashing, your 30, ok.
Second of all, you want your ex fiancé to stay with us in our one bedroom apartment. The one she used to live in before me.
ALEX
See isn’t that funny?
WHITNEY
No, it’s weird.
ALEX
Oh, come on don’t be like that.
WHITNEY
You need to call her and tell her that she can not stay here.
ALEX
Ugh, you know how she is. She’s so fragile. Whenever she gets her feelings hurt she just falls apart.
WHITNEY
Ok she does sound fun to hang out with but she can not stay here.
ALEX
Wait a minute, is this about me not ordering those curtains yet because I can do it right now. I’ll pull it up online, let me do it online…
WHITNEY
No, no no, no,no. This is about, what this is about.
Your putting me in a completely uncomfortable situation.
ALEX
How come you never wear that bracelet I got you?
WHITNEY
Stop trying to distract me. I am not letting so desperate, broken girl come stay in your place. Last time that happened you got a wife, that’s my move.
ALEX
Ok, when you think about it, this is not my fault.
You forced me to find Chloe and reconnect.
WHITNEY
I wanted you to get closure with her not for us to be Mormons.
Call her.
(Alex grunts in frustration, then pretends to call)
ALEX
She’s not answering.
WHITNEY
ALEX!
ALEX
Alright.
Hey Chloe, hey it’s Alex uh…oh I’m good…about Saturday turns out there’s kind of a problem and uh…oh no it’s not that…it’s just that Whit’s not cool with it—
WHITNEY
ALEX! Don’t say that.
ALEX
Ok change of heart, you’re confirmed. See you Saturday.
(Alex hangs up)
WHITNEY
Confirmed?
ALEX
Well…she got quite, you got loud, I got scared.