CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
Are there a few moments in your life that matter than all the rest?
Moments where how someone behaves has an enormous effect on every result you care about?
BIG IDEA#1 The principle of crucial conversations
Anytime your find yourself stuck, stop and ask, what crucial conversations are we not holding or not holding well?
Sometimes a conversation can go from casual to crucial(high stakes) in seconds.
When conversations matter the most, we often do our worst.
Q&A
How is it affecting your behaviour with person you struggle with?
Two Possibilities:
- Talk it out(shape your concerns)
Most of us don’t do this so we don’t get to do second step well but we will act it out.
- Act it out.
Scenarios: A staff member is too old to continue his position.
Laying off staff.
A board member is not giving at all.
Kids Video
-to tell the truth(brownies)
How many of us have been to meetings like this?
At a young age, we begin to believe a myth, you have to chose between telling the truth and keep a friend.
You can measure the effectiveness of an organization by the amount of untalkables.
CHURCH
- Performance problems with vounteers or staff.
- Members who are struggles with sin or disconnection with church.
- Concerns with pastors.
Crucial conversations can build intimacy and growth. Trust building accelerant.
What are the two or three crucial conversations at Richview?
If we focus on those 2 & 3 it will affect everything.
The vital behavior that enables most any positive organizational outcome is candor
INDIVIDUAL INFLUENCE
-teamwork
-productivity
-marriage success
-diversity
-quality
-safety
We need to think about BIG IDEA #1 when were stuck.
SEVEN CRUCIAL SKILLS (PATTERNS)
- Start with heart
- Learn to look
- Make it safe
- Master my stories
- State my path
- Explore others’ path
- Move to action
INGREDIENTS OF SAFETY
Do I tell the truth or lose a friend?
When you’re in that moment, what do you do first?
Hazardous Half Minute
-do these two things and you have 97% chance of being heard
- Mutual Purpose
The entrance condition
You know that I care about your goals.
- Mutual respect
The continuance condition
You know that I care about you
We need to talk it out not act it out
Candor is never the problem. People never become defensive about what you’re saying. It’s how they are interpreting it.