Mehr, Spring 2006, Rewriting Critical Essays

Lesson One: Thesis / Introduction

The introduction to a critical essay should grab the reader’s attention, clearly state the paper’s thesis, and map out the argument’s main points.

Rough Draft of an Introduction:

“During the 1960’s black power movement, many strived to find their true heritage. They searched with a hope of being completely fulfilled and erasing any American aspect of themselves, when realistically American culture helped to develop them. I feel that American aspect is always going to be a part of African Americans. Alice Walker in “everyday use” does a great job in portraying the battle people fight to find where they truly lay in life. She shows that fight African American’s have with their American background. Walker portrays this battle through a family that has two competing views of heritage. Each character within the story holds a different view of heritage, and their personalities grow as the story progresses.”

Synopsis of the Paper’s Argument:

  • Dee is material, while Mama is practical. Dee wants the finer things in life, whereas Mama is focused on working hard in the tradition of her ancestors.
  • When Dee returns home for a visit, we learn that she has taken a sudden interest in her African American heritage. At the time, the Black Power Movement was rising in America, in which African Americans wanted to shirk off white culture and oppression in favor of rediscovering their African roots; however, in doing so, they neglected to recognize the generations of ancestors who had worked hard to develop a culture in America.
  • 2 competing views of heritage emerge: Dee is focused on preserving the past and getting back to the family’s African roots. Mama, on the other hand, favors her American heritage, which was built by people she remembers on hard work.
  • These conflicting views of heritage come to a head in the quilt scene. Dee wants to preserve material goods; whereas, Mama wants Maggie to use them practically, because that is the family’s true legacy—hard work and “everyday use.” While Dee would preserve the quilts, Mama knows that eventually they will fall apart anyway. Maggie is the best person to have them because she knows how to quilt, and will pass that knowledge on to the next generation. Dee is so desperate to hold onto and commodify her heritage through preservation that she forgets the true meaning of heritage: to pass on your knowledge and abilities to future generations.

Rewrite the above introduction to improve clarity and effectiveness. The new introduction should have a more complex and clearly stated thesis, and should specifically map out the paper’s main points. Sentences should be clear and concise, moving from old to new information (as we practiced last week). It should follow the conventions of the critical essay, refraining from personal opinions and unnecessary use of the first person. It might also be effective to summarize the story in one or two sentences.

Lesson Two: Close analysis of the text

When Harold Krebs returns home after WWI, he is a changed man. He feels alienated and detached from society, especially the conformity required by his small town. His family encourages him to get a job and a girlfriend, but he is completely unmotivated to do so.

They all wore sweaters and shirt waists with round Dutch collars. It was a pattern. He liked to look at them from the front porch as they walked on the other side of the street... He did not want them themselves really. They were too complicated. ..Vaguely he wanted a girl but he did not want to have to work to get her...He did not want to get into the intrigue and politics. He did not want to have to do any courting. He did not want to tell any more lies. It wasn’t worth it...He did not want any consequences. He did not want any consequences ever again. He wanted to live along without consequences (299).

Closely analyze this passage, showing how it supports and ties in with the larger argument. Here are some questions to get you going:

  • What do you make of the fact that all the girls dress the same?
  • What’s appealing about them to Harold, if anything? Why does he vaguely want one?
  • What does he mean by “complicated”?
  • Why does Hemingway use the words “intrigue and politics”? Can you think of anything else in Harold’s experience that these words would apply to?
  • When he says “any more lies” what previous lies is he referring to? Why did he have to lie then, and why would he have to lie to the girls? What would his goal be in lying? Why isn’t it worth it?
  • Why does Hemingway repeat the word “consequences” three times in three sentences? What is the significance of the word? What other connotations does it have as he repeats it?