Bible Lesson for Bible Teachers, Lesson #2The “With Him” Principle1 Thessalonians 2.7, 8; Mark 3.14

Good Questions Have Groups Talking

Note: there are more questions here than you will likely be able to use. This is intentional and based of a quirky fear I have of being in front of a group and running out of material. (This has never actually happened.) Pick and choose; adapt; improve. If you come up with ways to improve this lesson, email them to me at

OPEN

What is your name and who is the best Bible teacher you have ever had? What made them so special?

DIG

  1. Follow up. How did we do this week on praying for the people in this group, and praying for the people you teach each week?

What the Church needs to-day is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men whom the Holy Ghost can use—men of prayer, men mighty in prayer. The Holy Ghost does not flow through methods, but through men. He does not come on machinery, but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men—men of prayer. — Edward M. Bounds, Power through Prayer (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1999).

  1. How did it go on challenging the people you teach to pray for one another?

Pastor Jack also gave us guidelines concerning how we were to do the prayer circles. For example, he specifically didn’t want people to just turn and start praying without giving any details about their lives. He told us not to pray something abstract, like “God, You know our unspoken needs,” and never share from our hearts. He instructed us to look around and see that no one was left out. If someone ended up outside of a circle, we were to open up ours and include them. If our circle got above five people, we were to divide into two groups. Then we were to pray for one another until we heard the worship music begin, which was always our signal to finish up. As the congregation sang a worship song, the groups that had not yet finished completed their prayers.

In the beginning, I dreaded these prayer circles. But it didn’t take long for me to notice how good it felt to be prayed for, so I was willing to endure those uncomfortable moments for the benefits that followed. Eventually, the prayer circles became an important part of my life, and I even began to look forward to them. I planned during the week what I would ask people to pray for me about on Sunday. Once I started seeing answers to those prayers, I was hooked. I realized it was probably the only time anyone on earth was praying for me, and if I had not told the people in my prayer circle about my prayer needs, no one would have known. — Stormie Omartian and Jack Hayford III, The Power of a Praying® Church: Experiencing God Move as We Pray Together (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2009).

  1. 1 Thessalonians 2.7, 8. How is a good Bible teacher like a good mom?

Dan Baber honored his mother by posting an auction on eBay titled “Best Mother in the World.” The winning bidder would receive an email from his mom, Sue Hamilton, that would “make you feel like you are the most special person on the earth.”

During the auction’s seven-day run, 42,711 people—enough to fill most major league baseball stadiums—took a look. Ninety-two offered a bid, pushing the price from a $1 opening to a $610 closing.

Isn’t it interesting how people will pay for something most mothers give for free? —“A Mother’s Touch,” Focus on the Family Citizen (July 2002) / Craig Brian Larson and Phyllis Ten Elshof, 1001 Illustrations That Connect(Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 2008), 289.

  1. What do we learn about making disciples from this verse?

Paul’s method was personal investment. The only way to make disciples is to get involved intimately in the lives of the people you are trying to influence. God got involved with us in Jesus Christ, and he uses us to the extent that we give ourselves to others personally. Let’s look as the way Paul gave himself to the Thessalonians.

“Like a mother caring for her little children” (v. 7). Paul knew the people under his care, focused on their needs and carried them along a path of growth. He was gentle because his disciples were like babies—tender and undeveloped. He is like a mother who acts in the role of a nurse to bring each child to health. — Greg Ogden, Discipleship Essentials: A Guide to Building Your Life in Christ, Expanded edition (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Connect, 2007), 217.

  1. Compare 1 Thessalonians 2.8 with 2.11, 12. How is the love of a father different from the love of a mother?

2. “We … share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well” (v. 8). Paul was not an untouchable authority figure who kept himself at a distance. He got involved in the lives of the Thessalonians to the extent that his humanity was showing. Paul gave his whole self. He shared his life with them. The people knew that their welfare had become his welfare. Discipling is a process of investing one’s self in someone else for an extended period of time.

3. “As a father deals with his children” (v. 11). Again we see the emphasis on the uniqueness of the individual. No human being is the same, and no one is at the same point of growth and need. A father must foster the unique character of his children, and so must a discipler. A discipler encourages, comforts and urges his or her pupil toward more mature godliness. — Greg Ogden, Discipleship Essentials: A Guide to Building Your Life in Christ, Expanded edition (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Connect, 2007), 217–218.

  1. One of the words to describe a father’s love is “encouraging.” How is encouraging different from teaching? Why are both important?

Three synonyms for love, used in 1 Thessalonians 2:11–12, describe a father’s leadership.

1. ENCOURAGE

This word’s history means “to help or to exhort to a certain pattern of conduct.” This is “Come and follow me” leadership, which says, “This is where we need to go. I will take the responsibility to train you and help you.”

My youngest son owned a wonderful bike he refused to ride. I knew fear held him back from adventuring out into the streets, so one Saturday I announced we would be learning to ride the bike that day. He voiced his desire not to learn and insisted he didn’t want to go. I told him I understood his feelings, but we were going anyway.

I took him across the street and held the back of the seat while he pedaled around the parking lot. Within five minutes, he was riding on his own. My son had so much fun that he rode around for several hours and didn’t want to get off the bike to come in for dinner.

I made him go, and he resisted me. Was that tender? Not in the sense that we usually speak of it. Was it loving? You bet it was! I took him where he didn’t want to go so he could do what he really wanted. He wanted to ride a bike, like the rest of the boys, but he needed some firm direction.

The church is filled with people who want to do right and make a difference for Christ. But they fear the changes such a commitment might bring. Fatherly leadership points in a certain direction and takes people there. Firm leadership insists on a course of action that is needed to overcome resistance. The essence of pastoring is motivating people to engage in behaviors that do not come naturally. — Bill Hull, The Disciple-Making Church: Leading a Body of Believers on the Journey of Faith, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2010), 145–146.

  1. How is Bible teaching like parenting?

Similarly, as intentional disciple-makers, we need to be able to evaluate where our disciples are on their spiritual journeys. In order to do this well, we must be in relationship with them. In order to better understand what this looks like, it helps to consider the role of a parent with a child. Moses writes about this in Deuteronomy 6:7. He wrote, “Talk about [the commandments] when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” In other words, when we as parents teach our kids about the Lord, we are to spend time with them and be in proximity with them. Time and proximity enable us to get to know our kids well and to learn where they are spiritually and what they need to be taught. As parents, our goal is to guide our children to maturity—to help them mature and grow so that they move from one stage of development to the next and eventually become effective adults and parents themselves.

Our role as disciple-makers is similar to that of a parent, as every Christian is in a growth process as well, beginning with spiritual birth at salvation and then continuing on our entire lives. We see terms scripturally that illustrate this truth. Peter tells us to “grow up” in our salvation and to long for the pure milk of the Scriptures that will help us grow (see 1 Peter 2:2). He reprimanded the members of the church of Corinth for not growing spiritually (see 1 Corinthians 3:1–3). The writer of Hebrews reminds readers that they were still infants in Christ but ought to have matured into believers who were teaching others (see 5:12). In 1 John 2:12–14, John writes to children, young men, and fathers. I do not think he was writing to an all-boys’ school or to a men’s colony. He was speaking to the differing stages of spiritual growth and exhorting these believers to live in the faith. — Jim Putman, Real-Life Discipleship: Building Churches That Make Disciples (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2010), 40.

  1. Back to 1 Thessalonians 2.8. Why was sharing the gospel not enough?

Persons in official positions were expected to be “examples to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:3). Speaking of the elders and deacons, Paul said they were to be blameless in character, gentle, upright, not quarrelsome or arrogant or lovers of money, hospitable, vigilant, not given to strong drink. Particularly important was the inviolate relationships of husband and wife, as well as the way their children were submissive and respectful, for if leaders cannot manage their own house, how can they rule the church? As to doctrine, they were to be ready to teach, “holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.” Even those outside the fellowship should speak well of them (1 Tim. 3:1–13).

Example gives credibility to leadership. People are far more impressed by what they see than what they hear. Paul reminded the elders of Ephesus how he had kept back nothing that was for their good and had “showed” them all things (20:20, 35). Writing to the church at Philippi, he said: “The things which ye both learned and received and heard and saw in me, these things do …” (Phil. 4:9). He did not invite disciples to follow a theory, but a person. That person was Jesus Christ, the only Lord and Savior. But they were to follow Christ as Paul followed Him (1 Cor. 11:1). The apostle’s life was not the end of their quest, but it was an example of one seeking with all his heart and soul to be a disciple of Christ (Phil. 3:17; 1 Thess. 2:8; 2 Tim. 1:13; cf. John 13:15). — Robert Emerson Coleman, The Master Plan of Discipleship (Old Tappan, NJ: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1987), 84–85.

  1. How did Paul feel toward the people he taught?

Paul expresses this with a vivid metaphor: “We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children” (1 Thess. 2:7). A mother naturally tends to be gentle, to give and not take, and she desires her children to have it better than she did. The entertainer Cher had been raised in poverty, without enough shoes or nice clothes. When she became wealthy, she bought her daughter hundreds of pairs of shoes. It’s only natural to want to do nice things for your children.

The Greek word Paul employed for caring means “to warm and cherish.” When a child scrapes his knee or is in some sort of pain, he reaches for Mom. Her gentleness and acceptance make a hard world soft. On his mother’s lap the child feels special and loved, apart from performance. A young person’s life includes the rugged terrain of comparison, competition, and rejection. Pressures to conform, excel academically, take drugs, and engage in premarital sex can crush a child’s moral shell and spirit. Every child needs acceptance, physical touch, and a place where he is number one. When he fails, a mother’s acceptance brings healing. Her tenderness returns balance to his life.

Christians also need a place of security and safety, of gentleness and acceptance. To achieve this, everyone in the body of Christ is to care for others. However, by personality, gifts, and spirituality, some people function better as the church’s emotional anchors. — Bill Hull, The Disciple-Making Church: Leading a Body of Believers on the Journey of Faith, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2010), 143–144.

  1. Does it matter how we feel toward the people we teach? How so?

Many a productive person has been lost because emotional anchors were not esteemed in a discipling environment. If everyone were like Paul, John Mark could never have helped Paul later in life. It took Barnabas to see the potential in John Mark and meet that need.

Emotional anchors make the community of Christ by far the most fertile environment for developing people to reach the world. Those who would normally have dropped out of the church during a rough time can be held by the emotional anchors. After the crisis ends, often recovered people make a major contribution to the cause of Christ.

To effectively use the tenderness of a mother in the congregation, leaders must provide discipleship for the emotional anchors. If these Christians do not have the same values as the total body, their great ability to empathize may lead them to take an adversarial position toward church leadership. If they are not biblically sound, they may feel like championing an antiscriptural idea.

Emotional anchors also need to network needy people to other types of gifted people, to balance the scale. Without balance, discipleship abuse results. When the church enables negative behavior under the guise of “being there for somebody,” empathy and support have gone out of control. On the other hand, when the task takes precedence over other needs as a matter of course, the task has gotten out of control. The church needs a balance. — Bill Hull, The Disciple-Making Church: Leading a Body of Believers on the Journey of Faith, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2010), 144–145.

  1. We always want to read the Bible—and teach the Bible—for application. What are some practical, specific ways we could share not only the gospel but our lives as well?

Nothing takes the place of your presence. Letters are nice. Phone calls are special, but being there in the flesh sends a message.

After Albert Einstein’s wife died, his sister, Maja, moved in to assist with the household affairs. For fourteen years she cared for him, allowing his valuable research to continue. In 1950 she suffered a stroke and lapsed into a coma. Thereafter, Einstein spent two hours every afternoon reading aloud to her from Plato. She gave no sign of understanding his words, but he read anyway. If she understood anything by his gesture, she understood this—he believed that she was worth his time.

Do you believe in your people? Then show up. Show up at their games. Show up at their plays. . . . Do you believe in your friends? Then show up. Show up at their graduations and weddings. Spend time with them. You want to bring out the best in someone? Then show up. — Adapted from A Love Worth Giving Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment® Volume Ii: More Inspirational Thoughts for Each Day of the Year (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006).

  1. Mark 3.14. What do we learn about Jesus’ strategy for disciplemaking from this verse?

It may sound overly trite and cliché to say, “Jesus is our model” with respect to the methods we employ in making disciples, yet for any Bible-believing Christian, there really is no other place to start than with the example of Jesus. In our contemporary approaches to disciple-making, the key question should be “What did Jesus do?” rather than “What would Jesus do?”

That Jesus actually made disciples is self-evident in Scripture. After all, the people who followed Jesus were called disciples throughout the Gospels. It should be equally self-evident that Jesus could have gone about the process of making disciples in a number of different ways. He could have based His ministry in Jerusalem and started a megachurch (mega synagogue, perhaps?) in which masses of people could have come to hear Him teach and preach on a regular basis over many months or even years. He chose not to do it that way. He could have worked within the available structures of the rabbinical schools of His day, working His way up the ladder until He became the dean or the department chair of one of the largest training centers. Again, He chose not to do it that way. In the “fullness of time,” God could have waited for the emergence of the technological age so that Jesus could have worked through print, TV, or the Internet. He chose not to do it that way either.