Not So Easy Bake Oven
By:
Jon Tevebaugh, Josh Messerla, Haley Stewart, & Dustin Rodgers
Narrator: It started off like a normal day for our heroes, Peter, Karen, and Guy. The three roommates were watching Two and a half men (OG Charlie Sheen) in their two bedroom apartment in Palm Dale, California. The rooms were filled with empty pizza boxes, an opened milk carton, and a 92’ television hanging on the wall and the bedrooms were barely large enough to hold the mattresses that lay cocked on the floor as their beds.
Scene 1
Random guy from party last night: Killer party dude!
Guy: Shut up it’s not even noon yet! Get out!
Peter: (Stumbles out of the bathroom, covering his eyes) Ugh, I got hit by a train this morning.
Karen: I hear ya brother, I feel like crap on toast.
Guy: Shut up, I need my beauty sleep!
Peter: Does anybody else want any coffee?
Guy: No! Once again, shut up!
Karen: I’ll take some, good thing none of us have to work today.
Random guy from party last night 2 (Stumbles out of closet): Man, where the hell am I?
Guy: Okay, for the last time shut up, or I’m busting skulls.
Narrator: As the “random guy from party last night 2” begins to head for the door, he nearly hits Peter, while he is carrying hot coffee. Thinking on his feet, Peter does a quick 360 spin move (Like you see in Madden 12). However, he then spins himself right into the chair, and stubs his toe.
Peter: Owwww! God Blessed! (Mumbles angry obscenities and lies on the floor for about 10 minutes, holding his stubbed toe)
Narrator: Peter and Karen finally start cleaning up the apartment, while Guy lazily snores on the couch. When suddenly,* BAAAANG* in comes some unidentified flying object through the bathroom window, destroying half the toilet.
Ms. Chung Pow (Pokes head in apartment): I hear roud bang. What dat noise?!
Peter: Oh nothing, nothing. I just stubbed my toe once again.
Ms. Chung Pow: Oh, you big, big klutz. That fifth time dis week and don’t tink I didn’t hear party last night. I wunda, why you no invite me, roundeye?
Karen: Oh, I had no idea you were into that type of thing. Next time you’re on the list for sure.
Ms. Chung Pow: Oh okay, very, very good. Now I reave. Have very nice day.
Narrator: Ms. Chung Pow leaves, Karen and Peter go to investigate the bang and find an odd, metal sphere.
Scene 2
Narrator: As Peter and Karen are investigating, Guy sluggishly gets up from the couch to use the facility and nonchalantly walks into the bathroom and does his business.
Guy: (Notices Karen and Peter in the bathroom but doesn’t realize the metal sphere) Guess you guys were raised in a barn too, I believe it’s called privacy! (Finishes business and returns to the couch)
Karen: Oh shut up and go back to sleep.
Guy: Wait a second. (He gets up and heads to the bathroom again) I thought I saw an odd metal sphere sitting there. Well now that you all have rudely awoken me once again, can I ask what the hell that thing is?
Karen and Peter: No!
Peter: God! You are such a fool sometimes guy.
Guy: Okay? That’s beside the point.
Karen: He got you there, Peter.
Peter: I don’t care, shesh you bafoons! How about we figure out what this thing is?
Guy: How bout lunch first?
Karen: You idiot, it’s almost supper time!
Guy: Oh, I see. Well How bout dinner then?
Peter and Karen: No!
Peter: We have more important matter to attend to.
Narrator: All of a sudden a loud clang shook the entire apartment and smoke began pouring from the odd metal sphere. Randal the alien appeared.
Randy: Where am I?
Peter: Holy crap, what the hell are you?
Randy: Oh pardon me, where are my manners. My name is Randal Uranus. I come from the planet Pluto.
Guy: Hey, Pluto’s not a planet anymore.
Randy: Is too!
Guy: is not.
Karen: Now is not the time for this.
Peter: So what are you doing on earth?
Randy: Well, I’ve always wanted to see a Lakers game and I guess I took a wrong turn in Albuquerque. Then I think a bee got into my motor and destroyed that and now I’m here.
Peter: (whispers to guy) You would think if they mastered space travel, they would build a stronger motor.
Guy: One would think, I mean it seems plausible.
Peter: What’s it like on Pluto?
Randy: Not bad. Cold winters, hot summers. There has been an outbreak of mutant bears that feed off our young, but besides that not bad.
Karen: Shesh that’s sounds harsh.
Randy: Yeah but it beats having to watch that crap you call The Shore of Jersey. God! My daughter watched one episode and it melted her brain and turned her into a vegetable.
Guy: That show is god awful.
Narrator: Welcoming Randal and taking him around their apartment, Peter, Karen, and Guy help him settle in.
Scene 3
Narrator: Randy and Guy are sitting on the couch watching T.V. Karen is in the fridge making some sort of ramen noodles mixture.
Peter: So Randy, if you’re gonna stay here for a little while until we can fix your ship, you’ll need a disguise.
Randy: yeah, I kinda saw that one coming. Whatta ya suggest?
Peter: Well I’m not sure… Karen? Guy? Any suggestions?
Guy: How about a mailman?
William the mailman: (Pokes head in to deliver mail) won’t work, already tried it before, here’s ya’ll mail and have a lovely evening. (Hands mail over and leaves)
Karen: How bout we dress him up like a little kid and say he’s my nephew.
Guy: That might just be crazy enough to work.
Peter: Oh shut up guy. That sounds good. I’ll go to the store and grab some clothes.
Narrator: (Peter leaves, while Karen, Guy and Randy are still sitting in the living room)
Randy: I want a mustache.
Karen: You’re gonna be dressed up like a kid. Kids can’t grow facial hair.
Randy: But I grew my first mustache as I was conceived.
Karen: That may be so, but here on earth, kids can’t grow facial hair.
Randy: So no mustache?
Guy: I think you’d look awesome with a mustache.
Karen: Quit giving him ideas. No mustache!
Randy: Alright, alright.
William the mailman: (pops in for a quick second) I think he would look rather strange with a mustache.
Randy: Well if that guy says no, I change my mind.
Karen: What are you doing here Willy? You already gave us our mail.
William the mailman: Well see I dropped my wallet as I was leavin earlier and I kinda need the stuff in my wallet just a little. Well I’ll leave y’all to ya bidness.
Karen and Guy: See you Willy.
Narrator: (Willy leaves and Peter returns with a couple bags full of clothes)
Peter: I think I found some clothes you’ll love Randy!
Narrator: Randy and the gang spend the rest of the day trying to find an outfit for Randy. Randy being difficult, didn’t like any of the outfits peter had picked out.
Randy: No, none of these clothes will do. I will get no tail around here if I wear this garbage.
Guy: Be that as it may, what tail are you talking about? You’re an alien on earth.
Randy: A man can dream can’t he?
Guy: Yeah I guess you’re right.
Narrator: So they decide to forget about the disguise for now and begin to eat dinner. Karen had ordered Chinese food from Chinese Garden two blocks down the street.
Randy: Wow! This cat tastes amazing. I’ve never thought of preparing it like this.
Peter: What are you talking about? That’s chicken.
Randy: Um no, I’m pretty sure when your main diet is cat and different space cats; you know what they taste like.
Guy: I knew it was cat! I told you all but none of you ever listen!
Narrator: Karen, Guy and Peter begin spitting out the Chinese food and almost begin to hurl.
Peter: We are never going there again.
Randy: Why not? I thought it tasted rather lovely.
Peter: Okay, Randy you can still eat there but the rest of us are done.
Randy Horrayyyyyyy!
Narrator: As they finish eating their Chinese food, they begin talking about Randal’s situation.
Scene 4
Guy: Guys, I really don’t think we should be talking about the alien so much in our apartment…
Peter: What’s the big deal you bum? Nobody’s listening to our every word or anything.
We can say whatever we want!
Guy: I just don’t think with our current…uh… predicament, we should be throwing the word alien around. Do you not remember the retired FBI agent living next door you moron? You know the one that likes to use his old gadgets to spy on the neighbors for his sick amusement?
Guy: Oh. I guess you might be right. I can’t believe this was just now something that’s been said…Wow. He could already know exactly what’s going on!
Peter: Yeah, well let’s just keep it quiet and hope he doesn’t. We don’t need any more crap to deal with right now.
Guy: Yeah, yeah. Okay man. Maybe you should stop being a little less paranoid, and a little more excited about THE ALIEN IN OUR APARTMENT.
Peter: Haha, yeah you’re right! I can’t believe I forgot about him!
Guy: So anyway, back to the current problem, what exactly do you need to rebuild your ship? We could try and help you find it so you can get back to doing cool alien things.
Randy: Yeah that would be grand! But when I tell you guys what I need you probably won’t believe me.
Guy & Peter: Tell us!
Randy: Ok, well. I need THE ORIGINAL easy-bake oven. The first one ever made. I guess it was 1963 when it was created? Yeah, that’s right!
Guy: Yeah! That shouldn’t be hard to find at all!
Peter: Actually Guy, it might be incredibly difficult…you’re talking out of your bum.
Guy: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But we WILL do everything we can to help Randy.
Peter: Agreed!
Randy: Thanks a lot! You guys are a lot more helpful than my encyclopedias back on my home planet say you all are. I’m sure glad I crash-landed in your guys’ place! But, I’m going to go take a shower, I feel disgusting.
Narrator; Peter and Guy stare at Randy looking confused. Randy stands up, and walks into the bathroom and closes the door. Karen walks into the living-room from her bedroom and Peter & Guy turn to her.
Karen: Guys, I just found the most amazing thing for Randy to wear as a disguise!
Narrator: Karen is holding in her hands a black beanie hat with a skull on it, an old leather jacket, and a pair of old skinny jeans she couldn’t fit in anymore.
Karen: Where is he?
Guy: Uh…he’s in the shower…
Karen: What? That’s… weird… I wasn’t aware aliens showered. (Confused look on her face) Oh well, I’ll just wait until he gets out. Haha.
Scene 5
Guy: Guys, there are more important things to worry about right now other than the alien being who is cleaning his orifices in our shower… Like who’s going to take the garbage out?
Narrator: Instantly as Guy says that Karen and Peter both say “nose goes” and put their fingers on their noses. Guy is disappointed.
Guy: Awe man! This blows! (Clenches fist in irritation)
Narrator: Guy collects the trash from throughout the apartment, including some small rubble that had spilled out of the bathroom into the living room.
Guy: I guess I’ll be back in a bit guys. Thanks for helping…(sarcastically).
Narrator: Guy moves towards the front door lugging a plethora of trash-bags, which he in turn has to drop in order to open the door. (Peter & Karen are laughing hysterically) He then picks them back up and moves them out into the hallway, drops them again, and slams the front door behind him. As guy slowly makes his way down the hallway with the trash, the next-door neighbor, Agent Cutie opens his front door and walks into the hallway.
Agent Cutie: Oh hey Guy!
Guy: Hey, Agent Cutie…. I still have no idea why you changed your last name to that.
Agent Cutie: Yeah well let’s keep it that way shall we? What’s with all the trash, Guy?
Guy: Oh, just getting rid of some old junk to make space.
Agent Cutie: Oh is that right? What was that huge crashing sound I heard earlier from your apartment?
Guy: Nothing, just me and Petey roughing around, trading punches. It got a little out of hand and I shoved him into a bookshelf and it came toppling over. Sorry about that
Mr. Cutie.
Narrator: (Guy Smirks)
Agent Cutie: I smell something fishy…. And I’m going to get to the bottom of it. Trust me Guy, I WILL figure out what’s really going on in that apartment of yours.
Guy: Jeeze man you’re creepy, and there’s nothing going on so don’t even worry about it.
Narrator: Agent Cutie turns around and walks back into his apartment and closes the door. Guy leaves the trash bags in the middle of the hallway and runs back into his apartment and tells Karen & Peter what happened.
Scene 6
Karen: Wow, he is a creepy man..
Peter: We need to figure out how to find that freakin’ oven fast!
Guy: Alright, we need some rope and a fat suit.
Karen: A fat suit?
Guy: Trust Me.
Narrator: Karen, Guy, Peter and Randy go to the store to get the supplies they’ll need to help Randy fix his ship. After returning to the apartment, they set out the supplies and begin to map out their plan
Guy: alright, we’ll go to his apartment. I’ll be dressed up in my fat suit and when he opens the door, you will push me onto of him and that should crush him just long enough to grab the oven and get the hell out of there.
Karen: But what about getting Guy out of the fat suit without letting Agent Cutie free?