The Gladstone Poem
Let’s go back to the beginning, in 1869,
The Irish Church was disestablished,
But the Catholics still did whine
‘I was only trying to make you happy,’
Poor old Gladstone said,
‘But we’re not happy,’ they did shout,
‘Liberal Ireland’s dead!’
Next young Parnell stepped up to the plate,
He led the National Land League,
But Gladstone said, ‘Now just you wait…’
‘…I’ve had enough, you obstruct too much,
Away to gaol you go,’
But then the Liberal’s could not smile,
Poor Parnell had had no trial
‘But that’s alright; it’ll give me time,
To finish my glorious plans,
The Kilmainham Treaty is sitting waiting,
Waiting to be mine.’
‘I’m meeting William Gladstone,’
Parnell whispered to a friend,
‘We’re having secret chats,
To see what we can mend.’
‘The Land Act will be extended,’ Gladstone had declared,
And obstruction that was ended too,
‘BUT WAIT IRELAND’LL HAVE NO CAUSE!’
The Liberals watched and glared
‘And he didn’t tell us,’
The Liberals sat and cried,
‘He’s always undermining,
And now the ministers have died.’
The English were now convinced,
The Irish were completely mad,
‘They need coercion in their lives,
To stop them turning bad.’
Yet, more trouble it was brewing,
Herbert Gladstone had let slip,
‘If the Irish want Home Rule,
I say let them have it!’
‘Oh no young Herbert,’ Gladstone had cried,
‘My party’s now divided,
93 have voted against me,
It must be something that I decided.’
Parnell thought, Home Rule, it was in sight,
However, Chamberlain, he was not so sure,
So Churchill took his chance,
To prevent a party war
And now the Liberals faced defeat,
And Gladstone he resigned,
The Conservatives, they could meet,
All of the Irish demands
‘My mission is to pacify Ireland,’
Gladstone once had yelped,
But that little cloud in the west,
Proved hard to give some help,
‘I’ve given you the Second Land Act,
The three Fs that you craved,
I’ve given you fairer rents,
But you moan I’m ten years too late,
‘Parnell you have deserted me,
And left with Tory friends,
My moral crusade is over,
My time in power must end,
‘I admit my mission failed,
I was stuck in the past,
Au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye my friends,
I doubt the Torys last!’