Nanny State 6th Draft 20/06/06
‘NANNY STATE’
By Kish Gosai
6th Draft 20/06/06
1. INT. AFTERNOON. ALAN’S FLAT/ BEDROOM
We enter into a bedroom with a double bed, and mess all around it. The cover is hanging half off the bed, the crumpled bedsheets messy. The curtains are drawn, with only a sliver of light allowed in.
2. INT. AFTERNOON. ALAN’S FLAT/ LIVING ROOM AND KITCHENETTE AREA
We see a small living room and adjoined kitchenette area. The living room is very messy, with a sofa, covered in the bric-a-brac of life. The room is dark.
We can make out a figure, sitting upright on the sofa, head drooped forward, asleep and snoring. This is ALAN, he is in his mid 40s, with a receding hairline and plain clothes.
A phone rings and ALAN wakes up with a start. He rubs his eyes, and looks around with minimal effort. He looks over to where the phone is and decides not to answer it. ALAN closes his eyes again-ignoring it.
After a few rings, the answerphone kicks in.
man v.o:
Hi Alan, it’s Geoff here, just calling to see how you are. Listen, me and Sid thought it might be an idea if we all met up, had a few swift ones and caught up or something. What do you think? Anyway, give us a bell and let me know.
ALAN’s stomach rumbles loudly, and he heaves his frame out of the sofa.
He walks over to the phone and presses ‘delete’, the answerphone responds with; ‘message deleted- you have no more messages’.
He then walks over to the TV and video recorder unit and presses ‘stop’. He ejects the tapes and places in amongst the unkept pile of carefully labelled tapes on the side.
He wanders over to the kitchen, which is similarly unkept and messy. The afternoon light hurts his eyes. He opens the fridge, which hums incessantly, and peers inside. Inside, there is nothing but a bottle of yellowish looking milk and a sorry looking spring onion. ALAN tuts and closes the fridge door.
3. INT. AFTERNOON. ALAN’S FLAT/ BATHROOM
ALAN is in the bathroom. He grabs the toothpaste, which is almost flat, and visibly empty. Nevertheless, ALAN tries to squeeze some out; none is forthcoming. He throws the tube in the basin and walks off.
4. INT. AFTERNOON. ALAN’S FLAT/ KITCHEN
ALAN looks inside the cupboard. There is only a box of corn flakes, which he picks up and shakes. A few crumbs rattle around at the bottom.
He turns the box upside down on the counter and shakes out the crumbs, a small mound forms on the surface. He looks at it and picks up a few crumbs and puts them in his mouth.
5. EXT. AFTERNOON. CONVENIENCE STORE
ALAN walks into the convenience store, which is brightly lit with Bollywood music playing in the background. ALAN grabs a basket and starts to scan the shelves.
He picks up the following objects; a bottle of squeezy ketchup, two boxes of cornflakes, a pack of blank video tapes and a bottle of milk.
He walks over to the newspaper rack and looks at the headlines. He picks up a broadsheet and a tabloid and places them carefully in his basket.
He stops at the freezer section and picks up several packets of fish fingers and other frozen foods. He also picks up a cornetto type ice cream. He opens it straight away, eating it as he walks around.
ALAN stands in the queue. In front of him are a MOTHER and LITTLE GIRL, the LITTLE GIRL in a pushchair. The MOTHER strikes up a conversation with the SHOPKEEPER, laughing and joking. The LITTLE GIRL holds a cornetto type ice cream. ALAN waits, impatiently until he can hold his tongue no more.
alan:
Have you finished?
Their conversation halts, and they both stare back at ALAN, unsure of how to react. The silence is broken by the LITTLE GIRL, who starts to cry. The MOTHER looks down and sees that she has spilt her ice cream on her top. She tuts and produces a tissue to clean it up, the crying subsides.
The MOTHER looks up at ALAN disapprovingly, but her expression quickly changes to a subdued giggle. ALAN doesn’t understand.
6. EXT. DAY. RESIDENTIAL ROAD/ CONVENIENCE STORE
ALAN walks out of the store, having paid for his goods. He stands for a moment to calm down. Then he looks down and realises he has spilt a large portion of his ice cream down his shirt. He tries to wipe if off with his sleeve, and drops his ice cream in the process.
In a bad temper, he marches back into the shop.
We stay outside and view what happens in the shop. ALAN speaks to the SHOPKEEPER, and the SHOPKEEPER gives him a pen and a card. We see ALAN scribble something down, and the SHOPKEEPER walks towards us and sticks the card in the window. It reads; ‘NANNY NEEDED’. Underneath is his phone number and address.
ALAN walks back outside and away. After a beat, we see a 23 year-old woman with Eastern European features walks by. She wears a tatty looking backpack. This is ANYA.
She walks over and studies the advert. After a beat, she pulls out her mobile phone.
7. EXT. DAY. RESIDENTIAL ROAD/ OUTSIDE ALAN’S APARTMENT BLOCK
ANYA walks down the deserted, perfectly formed road. She is still wearing her backpack and looks around her. She holds the advert from the shop window in her hand, the address has been jotted on it, he lives at 23. She looks down and then looks up, the buildings on either side of the road are identical, she looks confused.
8. EXT. DAY. ALAN’S APARTMENT BLOCK
ANYA stands in front of the communal door, she scans the buzzer buttons looking for ‘23’. She finds it, and just as she goes to press the button, the door buzzes. She is startled and looks up, but the all the windows have drawn curtains. She pulls open the door.
9. INT. DAY. ALAN’S FLAT/ OUTSIDE THE DOOR
ANYA arrives at the door and knocks. She stands, waiting patiently. She glances down at her scrap of paper again, just to be sure she has the right place. She knocks again.
10. INT. DAY. ALAN’S FLAT
ALAN is at the door, we see his eye up against the spy hole. We see ANYA standing. After a beat, he opens the door.
11. INT. DAY. ALAN’S FLAT/ OUTSIDE THE DOOR
The door opens and ALAN appears at the door. He still looks uncomfortable, ANYA smiles confidently and extends her hand.
anya:
Hello, I am Anya. I am here about the job.
12. INT. DAY. ALAN’S FLAT/ LIVING ROOM
ALAN and ANYA walk into the living room together. ALAN has arranged a chair that faces the sofa. He sits down on the sofa and awkwardly beckons her to sit. She swings her backpack off her shoulder and sets it down, before sitting down.
anya:
Thank you.
A few moments of silence pass, ANYA keeps smiling and ALAN looks at her, slowly getting used to another person in his space. She looks around the room, and cranes her neck to look down the hall.
anya:
So, where are the children?
ALAN:
Erm..not here at the moment… So, do you have any experience or qualifications?
ANYA:
Back home I look after my two younger brothers from very young.
ALAN:
And how, would you say, do you get on with children?
ANYA:
Very good.
ALAN:
And adults?
ANYA:
(She laughs, trying to inject some humour)
Why, is your wife difficult?
ALAN:
(Straight faced)
She was.
An awkward pause passes, and ANYA looks around for signs of a child. All she sees is the mess of a man.
anya:
Are they at school?
ALAN:
Who?
ANYA:
The children.
ALAN:
Oh. No, he’s here.
ANYA:
(Confused)
Oh, but you said…?
ALAN:
He’s, erm, actually sitting right here.
ANYA looks at him, confused, before finally understanding.
anya:
Oh! Oh I think I misunderstand advert, I thought you want nanny?
ALAN:
I do.
ANYA:
No, no, grown men have wives for that kind of thing, I’m sorry to have troubled you.
She begins to get up. ALAN stands up too.
ALAN:
Please don’t go, I would like to explain more about the job first.
ANYA:
No, I don’t think so, I think maybe you are looking for wife but I’m not looking for husband!
ALAN snatches her backpack, like a child would snatch a toy mid-tantrum.
ANYA:
Give that back!
ALAN:
No.
ANYA:
Give it back!
ALAN:
Listen first.
ANYA:
What’s your name?
ALAN:
Alan.
ANYA:
(As if addressing a naughty child)
Alan!
ALAN:
I don’t want a wife, or even a girlfriend, I just want a nanny.
ANYA:
Children have nannys, grown men have mothers or wives!
ALAN:
No, just a nanny.
She goes to grab the backpack, but he anticpates and pulls away.
ALAN CONT.:
Please, just listen to my offer, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. Please?
She looks at him suspiciously, but gives him the benefit of the doubt.
ANYA:
Fine.
ALAN:
I just want someone to look after me and my flat. Keep it tidy and keep me company.
ANYA:
But you’re a grown man, I’m not sure if I feel happy with…
ALAN:
You have a father don’t you?
ANYA:
That’s different!
ALAN:
I can pay you generously and provide accomodation.
ANYA:
It’s not right somehow.
ALAN loosens his grip on ANYA’s backpack, offering it to her as an olive branch.
ALAN:
Please, if you don’t feel comfortable after the first week, you can go, with full pay.
ANYA takes the backpack back, and looks around the flat.
ANYA:
What would I do?
ALAN:
Oh you know, clean, do a little cooking, run some errands, look after me. I wouldn’t want to you wipe my arse or anything.
ANYA looks at him, confused.
anya:
Your what?
ALAN:
Never mind, it was a joke.
ANYA:
What is arse?
ALAN:
Bottom.
ANYA:
You want me to wipe your bottom?!
ALAN:
No…no, I was saying you don’t have to do that.
She looks at him with deep suspicion.
ANYA:
And you can offer me a room?
ALAN:
Yes. Your hours would be midday to around dinner time, then the rest of the evening would be yours.
ANYA:
No funny stuff, no bottom jokes?
ALAN:
No, no arse jokes.
ANYA looks around one more time, and then looks at the ALAN, holding out one last second. She looks down at her backpack, and then back up at ALAN.
anya:
I stay, for one week. If there’s no funny stuff, then fine. If there is funny stuff, I kick your balls. Ok?
ALAN smiles, victorious.
ALAN:
Ok.
13. INT. DAY. ALAN’S FLAT/ 2ND BEDROOM
Unseen until now, ALAN shows ANYA into the 2nd bedroom. It is quite different from the other rooms in the flat. It is small with a single bed in the corner. It is immaculate, and designed in a feminine style. A slim wardrobe stands in the other corner. ANYA seems impressed.
ALAN:
This is where you will stay. I hope it’s ok.
ANYA:
It’s nice.
17. INT. NIGHT. ALAN’S FLAT/ LIVING ROOM, KITCHENETTE
It is early evening and ALAN is sitting on the sofa watching a TV programme he has previously recorder. ANYA sits on the chair by the small dining table, not quite sure what do to.
alan:
Is it dinner time yet?
18. INT. NIGHT. ALAN’S FLAT/ KITCHENETTE
ANYA wanders into the kitchenette, unsure of her bearings. The kitchen is extremely bare, it looks lonely and un-used. She peers into a cupboard, there is a box of corn flakes, four tins of baked beans and an easy squeeze bottle of ketchup.
She peers into the fridge, and there is some fresh milk and fresh spring onion. She closes the fridge, confused.
She looks over to where ALAN is sitting, he is glued to the TV.
ANYA:
What do you usually eat?
ALAN:
Freezer.
ANYA:
(To herself)
Freezer?
She looks around the kitchen, struggling to understand what he meant. She looks over to him, and he, without looking at her, mimes the opening of a freezer door, makes the sound and mimes picking up something cold.
She understands and suppresses a giggle.
ANYA opens the freezer and pulls open a draw. Inside is packet of fish fingers and a packet of waffles.
She looks at the basic food with disapproval.
19. INT. NIGHT. ALAN’S FLAT/ DINING TABLE
ALAN is still watching the TV. ANYA clears the table in preparation for dinner. While she clears, she looks over at ALAN. He doesn’t notice, and she quietly observes him, trying to work him out in her mind. He remains blank.
She returns to the kitchen to fetch the plates. As her back is turned, ALAN looks at her. She starts to turn back, and he quickly switches his gaze back to the TV.
ANYA:
Dinner’s ready.
ALAN:
I’ll have it over here.
ANYA:
(Firm)
No, you’ll eat at the table.
He looks up in surprise, unsure of how to react. She sets the plates on the table and looks at him sternly. He gets up and walks over to the table.
They both sit and start eating.
ANYA:
You have only this food?
ALAN responds with a grunt.
ANYA:
Tomorrow I buy and cook you real food.
ALAN:
What if I don’t like it?
ANYA:
I’ve not had complaints yet.
ALAN:
I’m not-
ANYA:
Don’t talk with your mouth full.
ALAN obeys.
20. INT. NIGHT. ALAN’S FLAT/ 2ND BEDROOM
The lights are off and ANYA lies in bed, unable to sleep. The flat is dark and quiet and bright moonlight streams through the window. She is uncomfortable in a new bed and new surroundings.
A door opens down the hall. ANYA, about to finally slip off into sleep, is jolted awake. The door closes again and nothing. The light in the hallway is switched on, and a small slither of light creeps through the bottom of her door.