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February 12, 2017: Sixth Sunday after Epiphany
Matthew5:17-32: Rules and Relationships
Do you ever feel like you have to defend your faith, your religion, from people who do not believe the way you do?
One of the criticisms often leveled against Christianity is that it’s all just a bunch of rules that make life boring and dull. Maybe you have never heard that before, but I heard it, all the time. I grew up in a denomination that was all about the rules. We had rules against going to the movies, going to dances, no drinking, no smoking. We even had rules about what you could wear. I went to summer camp every year at our denominational campground, and I can remember the first year we were allowed to wear shorts. Well actually the first year it was Bermuda shorts, then Jams, then finally regular shorts.
Fortunately, my parents did not make me follow most of those rules. They recognized some of the inconsistencies. I was allowed to go to the movies, and prom…a big waste of money. And the denomination has done away with many of them, but a few remain. I’m still ordained by this denomination, by the way. If they knew what went on in this church they would either strip me of my credentials, or change my classification from pastor to missionary.
As kind of a reaction against a Christianity that is all about rules, some Christians have kind of adopted the slogan, “it’s not about rules, it’s about a relationship.” Relationship of course being a reference to a relationship with Christ. At the extreme end of this view you have Christians who have pretty much thrown out the idea of rules altogether. It’s easy to see how a de-emphasis on rules would be be appealing for someone who had grown up with an overemphasis on rules, someone like me, or someone like the disciples.
The rules, or the Law was central to the Jewish faith and it set them apart from every other religion. It had initially consisted of the Ten Commandments, but had expanded over the centuries to include, by Jesus' day, more than six-hundred laws that covered nearly every aspect of life, what you could eat, what you could wear, where you could go, who you could associate with, etc. Keeping the Law completely was oppressive, exhausting and probably seemed all but impossible.
The Scribes and Pharisees had accused Jesus of abandoning the Law and its requirements. He was always emphasizing things like God's grace, mercy and forgiveness, and was willing to do certain things that were against the Law, like associate with sinners, heal on the Sabbath, and not require his disciples to fast. For the disciples this was a welcome change. Maybe they expected he was going to do away with all the rules once and for all.
You can imagine their disappointment when he told them he had “not come to abolish the law or the prophets, but to fulfill it.” Then he went on to pronounce some fairly strict penalties for not following the rules, or encouraging someone else to break them. That was surely not what they expected. But the biggest surprise of all must have been when he told them that in order for them to enter the kingdom of heaven, they must follow the rules better than the Scribes and the Pharisees did, which would be basically impossible.
You cannot read the Sermon on the Mount and conclude that being a disciple of Jesus has nothing to do with rules. But to follow the Law, you have to understand what the Law all about. That’s what Jesus went on to explain. Using six different examples he showed the true meaning and intent of the Law. For a person to go above and beyond a Scribe or a Pharisee and enter the kingdom of heaven, they need to embody the spirit of the law.
Jesus begins with the commandment against murder. I think we would all agree that murder is not a good idea. We can understand that it’s wrong to take the life of another human being. Hopefully, the urge to kill someone is not something any of us struggle against on a daily basis. But just avoiding murder is not fulfilling the law.
Murder is the ultimate expression of hatred one person can have toward another person. You hate that person so much you want to wipe them off the face of the earth. But the spirit of the law calls us to avoid any level of hatred, or feelings of disgust, or disdain for someone else. Jesus taught his disciples to avoid speaking hurtful or insulting words to a brother or sister. The example he gives as something to avoid is “fool.” I remember reading this as a kid and breathing a sigh of relief because “fool,” was not a word I used very often. I called my brother and sister names like “idiot,” and “moron,” and “butthead.” So I figured I was ok. Even children look for ways around the law. But deep down I understood any name calling was a violation of the spirit of the law.
Jesus went on to say that when anger exists between two individuals they are to seek reconciliation. To emphasize how important this is Jesus gave an illustration that involved a person in the process of offering their sacrifice on the altar who suddenly remembered there something between them and someone else. His instruction was to stop the sacrifice immediately and only resume it after seeking reconciliation. His point was clear; It’s just as important to make sure things are right between you and your fellow human beings as it is to make sure things are right between you and God. Things cannot be right between you and God if they are not right between you and your brothers and sisters.
Then Jesus gave another illustration involving someone who was on their way to court with their accuser. His advice was to do whatever was necessary to settle with them out of court before the judge handed down his sentence. His point here was to say that when it comes to reconciling with someone, time is of the essence. There may come a time when reconciliation is no longer possible.
It could be because the Lord has returned, or because your life or the life of the one with whom you need to be reconciled comes to an end, and then it is too late. We all know people who had an issue with someone, a loved one, a parent, a sibling, a child…and they knew what they needed to do, but they waited until it was too late…and now they only live with regret.
The second command Jesus addressed was the prohibition against adultery. In the time of Jesus and long before that adultery understood very narrowly to refer to a married woman who had a physical relationship with a man other than her husband or fiancé. The fact that Jesus indicated that a man could also be guilty of adultery was groundbreaking, but Jesus went much further than that.
There were many religious leaders who taught that it was only the act of adultery that was sinful; Jesus said very clearly that wanting to commit the act of adultery even if only in your heart was also a sin, and one with severe consequences. To show just how severe they could be he told them it was better to gouge out their eye or cut off their arm if they were causing them to give in to temptation. He didn’t mean for them to take his advice seriously as much as he wanted to underscore the seriousness of taking this sin seriously.
A modern example of someone who went to those lengths to stop this kind of behavior is in the movie Fireproof. It’s about a young couple whose marriage is on the rocks, in part because of the husband’s addiction to pornography. The husband reaches a point where he is so disgusted with himself and with his addiction that he completely destroys his computer so he can no longer have access to it. It sounds extreme, but we should be willing to go to such lengths to avoid this kind of infidelity.
And pornography is a type of infidelity. We need to be honest about it. I know it’s an uncomfortable topic, but it is a real struggle, for men and women.
I need to say something, to husbands and wives. If your spouse struggles with pornography, it is not your fault. It is not normal. Yes, we are created as sexual beings, but God has established the boundaries for how we should express our sexuality, and pornography is way out of bounds. It is a disease. It is an addiction. Your spouse needs help.
If you are married, and you struggle with pornography, you need to get help. It will at least hurt, if not destroy your marriage. If you are not married, and you struggle with pornography, get help. An addiction to pornography will negatively impact your current and future relationships.
The sin of adultery, with or without physical intimacy, creates an environment of mistrust, guilt and suspicion, and it severs the bond between husband and wife. The destruction goes beyond the couple or couples involved, it affects their families and even the communities of which they are apart. But another reason Jesus condemned it so strongly, is because the marriage covenant is supposed to serve as a representation of God’s faithfulness to the covenant he has made with his people. It has no place among the disciples of Jesus, who are supposed to represent God to the world.
The third command Jesus addressed had to do with divorce. The Jews did not technically have a law against divorce. The only requirement Moses gave was that if a husband chose to divorce his wife he had to issue her a certificate to that effect, so that she would be allowed to remarry without fear of being accused of adultery. This concession represented the only compassion shown to women in a society that highly favored men, and gave only them the right to seek a divorce.
The Scribes and Pharisees were constantly debating with one another in regard to the appropriate grounds for divorce. The opinions went from one extreme to another; there were a few who saw no legitimate reasons, there were others who believed if your wife burned your dinner or gained a few pounds you could trade her in for a newer model.
Regardless of the reason, a divorced woman would have no means of supporting herself or her children…there were no laws requiring alimony and child support. If she could not get remarried she would very likely be forced to beg or engage in prostitution to survive. It was essentially the same as being abandoned. Jesus drew the line at adultery; it was the only reason a disciple could divorce his wife.
To apply this teaching faithfully in our context we have to keep in mind Jesus’ context and how different it was than ours. In our society, women can file for divorce as easily as men. There are legal protections in place. There are support systems set up. Jesus surely would not condemn a woman for divorcing a husband who was abusive, or a husband for divorcing a wife who threatened the welfare of their children. What Jesus was condemning here was the failure to honor the commitment of marriage, and the tendency to treat one’s spouse as an object, instead of a human being loved and valued by God. For followers of Jesus, divorce must be viewed as the last resort.
Keeping the context in mind is also necessary for understanding what Jesus meant when he said that a man who divorced his wife caused her to commit adultery and a man who married a divorced woman was committing adultery. If you were doing those things you were contributing to a system that treated women like objects or possessions to be traded back and forth at the whim of the men in their communities.
You see Christianity does have quite a bit to do with rules, and these rules have a lot to do with our relationships. And the first place we apply to our lives are the relationships we have with each other. Notice how often Jesus uses the words “brother,” and “sister.” That is in reference to our brothers and sisters in Christ. The people to your right and to your left. This is where following the rules begins.
More than refraining from murder, we should treat each other with love and respect, avoiding using hateful words and holding grudges.
More than refraining from the physical act of adultery, we should also keep our covenant with our hearts and minds. And we should encourage and keep each other accountable to do the same.
More than simply honoring our marriage commitment to the letter of the law, we should honor it in every way, and not treat our spouse as disposable, to keep or get rid of at our convenience.
There are many more rules for us to follow, but these rules were not meant to be a burden. The Ten Commandments given to Moses were given as a gift. They were intended to be a blessing.
These rules that Jesus gives to us are a gift. Following these laws is the best possible way to live. It’s the only way to live as a disciple. It’s the only way to come to the end of your life with zero regrets.
Following these rules can be hard, but God gives us grace when we fall short, and the power of his Holy Spirit to move forward. Our part is to have the desire to change. God’s part is to make the change itself
It’s not uncommon for a pastor to encourage people, at the end of a service, to make things right between them and God. Today I want to encourage you to make things right between you and the other people in your life.
If there is anything between you and your spouse,
If there is anything between you and your neighbor,
If there is anything between you and a family member,
If there is anything between you and a member of your church family…
Make it right. Then live according to the Law as Jesus defines it.