Fuck This Packet 2016
Opus 4: The ‘80’s Called: It Wants Its Trash Packet Back
Technical Notes: The Powers are just there for fun and are not necessary. There is only one tiebreaker per packet, so read a previously unread bonuses if there is still a tie after tossup 21.
TOSSUPS
1. (Music) This man, though mainly known for his work as a musician, proved his talent for voice acting by providing the voice for Donnie in the Wild Thornberrys. In a 1998 movie, this man proclaims “It’s not fair!” after torching the protagonist’s car, to which a character replies “Who’s the fucking nihilists around here?” The Back to the Future franchise features cameos by many different musicians, including one by this man whose schemes twice have disastrous consequences for Marty McFly. This musician and his band played alongside Bruno Mars at Super Bowl 48. For 10 points, name this musician and part-time actor, most famous for being the bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Answer: Flea (accept Michael Peter Balzary)
2. This man was forbidden from going on Adam Carolla’s podcast by Disney. The award winning film critic Wesley Morris wrote on a website that featured this man. In a book by this sports writer, Tim Duncan was called the 7th greatest player of all time, which was one spot ahead of Kobe Bryant. On a podcast, this man, who has owned Clippers season tickets, called NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a liar over the Ray Rice scandal. After that podcast, this writer was suspended by ESPN. On his podcast, this creator of The Ewing Theory speaks with friends like Malcolm Gladwell, Jack O., Cousin Sal, and his wrestling loving son. The schtick of this columnist revolves around his “homer” and “average sports fan” appeal. In 2016, this man started working for HBO. For 10 points, name this creator of Grantland who loves Boston sports teams.
Answer: Bill Simmons(prompt on “BS”)
3. (Movies) In this film, the protagonist says he is from South China which is why his Chinese supervisor cannot understand his dialect. This film has an impressive 9% on Rotten Tomatoes which is perhaps due to one reviewer’s comments that “It's the kind of movie where every paying customer deserves to receive a handwritten apology from the producers.” The protagonist in this film owes a debt to the kilt-wearing Scottish mafia. In this movie’s hilariously awful opening sequence, the protagonist speaks of “stinky dinkies” and pretends to be racist caricatures of an Asian man and Count Dracula while in the shower. This movie’s semi-legitimate plot is adapted from “The Most Dangerous Game” and is about how the protagonist must avoid the murderous German businessman Gustav Shank for 24 hours. For 10 points, identify this 1997 cinematic magnus opus featuring John Leguizamo.
Answer: The Pest
4. (VG) The “Handcuff Glitch” exists in an early version in this game series which could freeze a target. Another minor glitch is nicknamed a character’s “Seizure”. In the 2015 finals for a game from this series, Kazunoko defeated “The Beast” DaigoUmehara. The first game in this series contains British enemies like Birdie and Eagle. One of the most famous players of this game series is Justin Wong. There was a crossover game between this game series and Tekken. The plot of that game revolved around the cubical box called Pandora. Popular characters from this game series include Ken, Chun-Li and a character who uses the Shoryuken, Ryu. For 10 points, identify this 2-D Capcom series where players battle each other.
Answer: The Street Fighterseries (accept any specific Street Fighter game)
5. (TV) In a Season 2 episode of this show, one character dates a man who likes to watch porn during sex. A character gets sexually involved with their lawyer in another season. This show, created by Darren Starr, had a recurring role for our good friend, the actor Evan Handler, who portrayed that sexy lawyer on this show. A prequel to this show ran from 2012-2013 and starred Anna Sophia Robb. That prequel was called The Carrie Diaries. The movie spinoffs of this TV show were horribly received, but Jennifer Hudson plays Carrie’s assistant in the movie. This TV show starred Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, and Sarah Jessica Parker. For 10 points, identify this HBO dramedy where women in their 30s and 40s discuss relationships and love.
Answer: Sex and the City
6. (Misc) On a 2001 episode of Loveline, this comedian made fun of Adam Carolla for doing the show instead of going to a bar. This guy said that Black Lives Matter protesters were “fucking idiots” in a 2016 episode. The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass was a book written by this man which talked about gay Republicans being outed at the convention. This former host of Politically Incorrect once decided to smoke weed on a live broadcast in order to support the legalization of pot. Salman Rushdie has appeared on this man’s television program and partially agreed with this man on Iran and theocracy. Ben Affleck got infuriated at this man and Sam Harris for their opinion on Islam and mentioned that “we’ve killed more Muslims than they’ve killed us”. For 10 points, name this atheist host of HBO’s Real Time.
Answer: Bill Maher
7. (Movies) Editor's note: this tossup was meant to be annoying to read and this is barely a quiz bowl question. We kept in for the lolz.
The year is 2005, and you are strolling through a Blockbuster Video, looking for a movie to rent on a Saturday night. In the Rom-Com section, you come across this movie, which, based on its stellar cast of Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale, Patricia Arquette, and Gary Oldman, you decide to rent. You start to realize your mistake, however, after Beckinsale’s character, Carol, is shocked when she realizes that her fiance Steve’s entire family consists of little people. The central plot of this movie unfolds as Carol and Steve debate, yes, debate, over whether they will be able to raise their expected child even though it will probably not be the preferred size. Along this wild ride, you witness a progressively more insane cast of characters, including Steve’s twin brother, also a little person, played by an as always spectacular Gary Oldman. Peter Dinklage is the Marxist Anarchist Maurice that is dating Patricia Arquette. You will also see David Allen Grier, who plays Jerry Robin Jr.—a character whose entire subplot consists of following his desire to have sex with little people. You have been watching, for 10 points, this 2003 movie, which ends with Steve, whose entire family consists of little people, deciding he is unable to raise a child that will be a little person.
Answer: Tiptoes
8. (Music) One unusual audio effect used in this song is called “telephone burbles” which removed frequencies except around the 1000 hertz mark. This song is briefly referenced in Anchorman by Will Ferrell after he plays a riff from it on his jazz flute. The album that shares its name with this song also features songs such as “Cross Eyed Mary” and “Locomotive Breath”. This song is supposedly about our perception of the homeless, and the wife of flute player and vocalist Jeannie gets fifty percent of the royalties of this song after she divorced Ian Anderson because she helped write it. The singer of this song feels like “a dead duck” and the subject of this song eyes “little girls with bad intent”. For 10 points, identify this Jethro Tull song about a man “sitting on a park bench”.
Answer: “Aqualung”
9. (Internet) In the meme YouTube video “Baneposting Squad - Comic-Con First Look [HD]” a member of this e-celebrity groups says “now back to 9/11”. In one video, this YouTube channel watches old women dance “The Osteoporosis Dance” but they can’t help but laugh. Other non-PC moments from this group include one where they add homoerotic subtext to a VHS tape about doing home stunts. This channel had interviewed d-list celebrities like Matt Hannon of Samurai Cop fame and also sat down with the clown director Max Landis. Recently, this group put out the Tommy Wiseau-esque movie Space Cop. The most popular videos from this channel include a subplot where Nadine is kidnapped by the narrator of the videos. That narrator loves hot pockets and swears he didn’t kill his wife for the insurance money. For 10 points, name this channel featuring Jay, Mike and Rich who released the accurate and cynical “Plinkett” Star Wars Prequel Reviews.
Answer: Red Letter Media (accept “RLM”, anti-prompt on “Jay”, “Rich”, “Mike”, “Jack”, and “Jessie”)
10. In the 80s, this team was slapped with scholarship losses and this team’s ‘87 and ‘88 NCAA tournament appearances were erased because Vernon Maxwell was ineligible. Former coach Norm Sloan was forced to resign. In 93-94 this team lead by players such as Andrew DeClercq and Dametri Hill lost 70-65 to Duke in the National semifinal. Former New York Knick and Golden State Warrior David Lee attended this school until he was drafted in 2005. Other players who played at this school include Mike Miller, UdonisHaslem, Chandler Parsons and Patrick Young. This team defeated Ohio State in the NCAA Finals the same year this school’s football team also defeated Ohio State in the BCS Championship. This team won back-to-back championships under the leadership of players like Joakim Noah and Al Horford. For 10 points, identify this SEC school that was coached by Billy Donovan until he became the coach of the Thunder in 2015.
Answer: The University of Florida Gators (prompt on “UF” and “Gators”)
11. (VG) One review of this game’s DLC praises the “steamy dialogue” that comes about after the player has earned an S rank with an ally of the opposite gender. Classes from this game include Troubadour, Butcher, Maid and Kitsune. This game originally featured a petting minigame and an alleged “gay conversion” but these elements were removed from the Western release. The plot of this game revolves around a character born into Hoshido Royalty who fights against the Hoshido by accepting the tasks of the big winter coat man Garon. This game was released in Japan in June 2015, but because Nintendo is biased, wasn’t released in America until February 2016. Like in the Awakening version of this same game series, the player can customize the avatar. This includes picking between a male or female avatar. Spoiler alert: the protagonist in this game is part dragon. For 10 points, give the name of this tactical 3DS RPG where that protagonist is named Corrin.
Answer: Fire Emblem: Fates (prompt on “Fire Emblem”, accept specific episodes from the game like “Birthright”, “Conquest”, and “Revelation” prompt on a Japanese title and ask the player to translate it. Google their translation...)
12. (Misc) Veronica Avluv, Francesca Le, and Nina Hartley are all said to have this title. The most famous person described by this term was surprised that so many younger boys knew who she was. That same actress did a porn parody where she pretended to be Sarah Palin. This term was famously used before one character asks another to quiet down because he is trying to have sex with a hot girl. That scene takes place in American Pie. Some people argue about the first part of this term and debate if people like Christina Hendricks can be called this. Lisa Ann is often said to be a good example of one of these. For 10 points name this acronym that describes an attractive older woman.
Answer: MILF
13. (TV) On the TV showBrothers and Sisters this actor plays a Republican senator who is married to Kitty Walker. In one role, this actor plays a sociopath who fucks with a wimpy character played by James Spader. That film is Bad Influence. This actor wears an eye patch in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. In one commercial, this actor plays a man who pushes his high school trophies because he“peaked in high school”.On one NBC show, this actor plays a character who is Deputy White House Communications Director while the Martin Sheen played Josiah Bartlett is President. FTP, who is the actor mentioned in this question who starred as Sam Seaborn in The West Wing and Chris Traeger in Parks and Recreation?
Answer: Rob Lowe
14. (Sports) A record 4,483,350 fans saw this team in their inaugural season even though this team sucked. Andres Galarraga did win the batting title that season for this team. In their most successful season, the pitching staff was led by Jeff Francis, Aaron Cook and the always “dirty” Brian Fuentes. This team was managed by an incompetent boob who Keith Law said “did nothing well” and “makes me want to stab my eye out”. Jim Tracey was that manager, but now this club is managed by Walt Weiss. In 2007, this team went on a miraculous September and October run and won 21 out of 22 games before finally being stopped by the Boston Red Sox. Matt Holliday won the NL batting title that season. This team’s stadium Coors Field is known for its shitty pitchers and homers. Thus, it is called a hitters friendly park. Current players for this team include Nolan Arenado, Jose Reyes and Carlos Gonzalez. For 10 points, identify this NL West franchise based in Denver.
Answer: Colorado Rockies (accept either but do NOT accept “Denver” at any point)
15. (Music) In a music video for one of this man’s songs, people drink on top of dollar bills on a boat while helicopters use sonar systems. A film about this man was directed by George Tillman Jr. and was released in 2009. Eminem appeared on a song by this man that included the lyrics “Suckin' on the tits! Had the hooker beggin' for the dick/And your moms ain't ugly love, my dick got rock quick”. That song is “Dead Wrong”. Some people believe that Good Guy Greg Suge Knight was irritated by the release of “Who Shot Ya”, which was a song made by this artist. This rapper is famous for singles such as “Juicy” and “Mo Money, Mo Problems”. This East Coast rapper had a beef with West Coast rappers such as Tupac. For 10 points, give the name of the rapper, killed in 1997, who posthumously released Life After Death.
Answer: The Notorious B.I.G.(accept BiggieSmalls, and Christopher George LatoreWallace)
16. (TV) The original opening theme of this show featured a dragon fighting a knight and a dog turning into a star. The opening theme song was funked up in a later version, and the opening credits’ production value greatly increased. An app bearing the name of this show was released in 2012 for IPad and Kindle Fire. Seth MacFarlane, riding high off of the rousing success of A Million Ways To Die in the West, donated $1,000,000 to a kickstarter campaign in 2014 to expand that app onto Android and into thousands of classrooms. This show is the third longest running show in its channel’s history, behind Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood and Sesame Street. For ten points, identify this PBS show hosted by KuntaKinte.
Answer: Reading Rainbow
17. (Movies) In an interview on Conan, the star of this scene revealed that, during a rehearsal of this scene, several background dancers had stuffed their leotards with fake pubic hair as a prank on that star. The singer of the song that plays over this scene sings “I found my mind in a brown paper bag” and that he “tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high” in a song that was intended to be a warning against the use of LSD, a subject appropriate for the scene. This scene is a faux-pornographic film, directed by a man who “treats objects like women, man”. During one part of this scene, the main character, dressed in a mechanic’s outfit with cut-off sleeves, accepts a pair of gold and silver shoes from Saddam Hussein. For 10 points, name this Jackie Treehorn production and second dream sequence in the Coen Brothers’ 1998 film The Big Lebowski.
Answer: Gutterballs (Accept “The second dream sequence in the Big Lebowski” or equivalents before mentioned. Prompt on “dream sequence” or anythingmentioning“Big Lebowski”)
18. (VG) Two young secret agents named Handel and Greta must be reunited by this character in the second game he appeared in. David Spade voices the friend of this character in the reboot series of this character’s game. Elijah Wood of Eternal Sunshine fame voices this character in the reboot. This character was most recently featured in a Skylanders game. Bosses defeated by this character include the stubby dinosaur Ripto, Malefor and GnastyGnorc.This character names the first game he appeared in where the player must fuck up some chickens and free this character’s elders from stone statues. In a game this character appeared in, subtitled “TheCortex Conspiracy”, Crash Bandicoot teams up with this character. Sparx advises this creatures and travels with FTP what purple dragon that debuted on the Playstation?