AVOIDING WORDINESS
In this module, you will learn how to avoid wordiness in writing by recognizing and avoiding· Clichés
· Bloated and repetitive words and phrases.
Introduction
You must learn to write with an economy of words. That is, you must learn to avoid "wordiness" in your writing. Wordiness is the habit of using far more words than necessary to achieve your purpose in writing. Stemming from many causes, wordiness tends to obscure what otherwise may have been an acceptable piece of writing.
Clichés and Bloated Language
Clichés are expressions that have lost their freshness through overuse. Bloated language is phrases and expressions that business and technical writers think they need to use in order to sound professional. Unfortunately, clichés add nothing to your writing; and, worse, they tend to annoy the reader. Bloated language and repetitive expressions make your writing sound pompous and merely add useless words to your communication.
Clichés
Here is a list of a few clichés that you should avoid using at all costs. Find simpler terms to replace the clichés if you absolutely need to use the meanings represented by the clichés.
List:
All work and no play
As light as a feather
As luck would have it
Beat around the bush
Better safe than sorry
Busy as a bee
Dead as a doornail
Drop in the bucket
Each to her/his own taste
Few and far between
Goes without saying
In the nick of time
In this day and age
Last but not least
Let sleeping dogs lie
Nipped in the bud
Place your best foot forward
The short and long of it
To make a long story short.
I think you get the idea. Expressions such as those in the list contribute nothing to your writing; as a matter of fact, they detract.
Bloated Language
Bloated language--overused, roundabout methods of trying to say what you mean--adds many useless words to your writing. But worse, such language annoys your readers because they become frustrated at trying to understand your writing. Below is a list of bloated expressions and their intended meanings. Use the intended meanings in your writing.
List:
At this point in time . . ."
Meaning: Now.
"It would be appreciated if . . ."
Meaning: Please.
"In the month of December . . ."
Meaning: In December.
"It has come to my attention that . . ."
Meaning: Whatever comes after "that."
"In the eventuality that . . ."
Meaning: If.
"At the present time . . ."
Meaning: Now or at this time.
"Attached herewith please find . . ."
Meaning: Attached is.
"During the period that . . ."
Meaning: While.
"For the purpose of . . ."
Meaning: For.
"In regard to . . . "
Meaning: About.
"(I, we) (am, are) of the opinion . . ."
Meaning: (I, we) believe.
"In the modern times of today . . ."
Meaning: Today.
"In view of the fact that . . ."
Meaning: Because.
"We would like to take this occasion to . . ."
Meaning: We would like to.
"We have taken the liberty of . . ."
Meaning: We are.
Redundant Words
Another way to tighten up your writing is to avoid repetitious expressions--expressions that repeat information. Here is a list of commonly misused repetitious expressions with explanatory notes.
List:
"Ascend up"
Use ascend. Ascend means to go up.
"A very young infant"
Use infant. Infant implies very young.
"Bad mistakes"
Use mistakes. All mistakes are bad.
"My personal opinion is that . . ."
Use my opinion. All opinions are personal.
"Repeat again"
Use repeat. Repeat means to do again.
"This morning at 10 a.m."
Use at 10 a.m. or this morning at 10. A.m. always occurs in the morning.
"Visible to the eye"
Use visible. Can anything be visible to anything but the eye?
The foregoing lists are not exhaustive. Hundreds of similar expressions exist, lying in wait to destroy clear, concise correspondence. The lists, nevertheless, provide you with an idea of what to look for in your writing.
Exercises
In the following 10 questions, select the sentence or expression that would be acceptable in technical and business writing? The answers appear after the last question.
1.
A. I repeat again, during the period that the office is relocating, we have taken the liberty of introducing flexible working hours.
B. I repeat, during the period that the office is relocating, we intend to introduce flexible working hours.
C. I repeat, while the office is relocating, we have taken the liberty of introducing flexible working hours.
D. I repeat, while the office is relocating, we intend to introduce flexible working hours.
2.
A. in this day and age
B. in these modern times
C. today
D. at this point in time
3.
A. the short and long of it
B. to make a long story short
C. a condensed recapitulation of transpired events
D. a summary
4.
A. It would be appreciated if, in the month of June, we were to engage in a dialogue.
B. It would be appreciated if, in the month of June, we could have a chat.
C. Please see me in the month of June.
D. Please see me in June.
5.
A. Here is the report you asked for.
B. Attached herewith please find the investigative literature you demanded.
C. In view of the fact that you requested it, here is the report.
D. As per your instructions, I have enclosed the report you asked for.
6.
A. I am of the opinion that the letter in regard to the defective merchandise is of little merit.
B. My personal opinion is that the letter about the defective merchandise is of little merit.
C. I believe that the letter about the defective merchandise is wrong.
D. My personal opinion is that the letter about the defective merchandise is wrong.
7.
A. The pamphlet for the purpose of employee financial guidance is inaccurate and should be nipped in the bud.
B. The pamphlet for employee financial guidance is inaccurate and should be nipped in the bud.
C. The pamphlet for the purpose of employee financial guidance is inaccurate and should cut off at the pass.
D. The pamphlet for employee financial guidance is inaccurate and should be reviewed.
8.
A. In the eventuality the new position is created, it goes without saying that I will apply.
B. If the new position is created, it goes without saying that I will apply.
C. If the new position is created, I will apply.
D. If the new position is created, as sure as the sun rises, I will apply.
9.
A. The office relocation issue is as dead as a doornail, as of 9 a.m. this morning.
B. The office relocation is cancelled, as of 9 a.m. this morning.
C. The office relocation has been cancelled.
D. At 9 a.m., senior administrators decided to cancel any office relocation.
10.
A. We think that your claim is not valid.
B. At this point in time, we are of the opinion that your claim is not valid.
C. Today, we are of the opinion that your claim sucks.
D. In our personal opinions, your claim does not possess sufficient validity.
Answers
1, D. 2, C. 3, D. 4, D. 5, A. 6, C. 7, D. 8, C. 9, D. 10, A.