A Comparative Study of Three Gay Poems

A COMPARATIVE STUDY OF THREE GAY POEMS

USING QUEER THEORY

Ernie Noviana Djapri

English Department, Bina Nusantara University, Jakarta

Abdul Aziz Turhan Kariko, S.S., M.Hum

English Department, Bina Nusantara University, Jakarta

ABSTRACT

The research is written in order to analyze the homosexuality behind the chosen poems “Because I’m Gay”, “So I’m..Gay”, and “Being Gay Is Just like Being Human”. The goals of this research are to describe the problems, the homosexuals’ perception, similarities and differences in three gay poems. The research method uses the library research and contains the elements of poetry (denotation-connotation, figurative language, and theme) also main theory analysis by using queer theory to analyze the homosexuality. The analysis has revealed some important information; first, every poem delivers the themes that show the homosexuals’ perception about their lives and their problem, the second is the similarities and differences of three gay poems. Through homosexuality analysis it is shown that every homosexual in all of poems have their own problems and perception, and it also describes the similarities and differences of three gay poems. The similarity that can be found in three gay poems is every homosexual in the poems have the same main purpose which is they try to get an admission from people. Beside similarities, there are also differences that can be found in three gay poems, which is every homosexual in the poems have their own perception about their problem.

Keywords: Queer, Homosexuality, Gay Poems, Similarities, Differences

ABSTRAK

Penelitian ini dilakukan untuk menganalisis homosexualitas dalam ketiga puisi yaitu “Because I’m Gay, “So I’m..Gay”, “Being gay Is Just like Being Human”. Tujuan dari penelitian ini adalah untuk menjabarkan masalah-masalah, cara pandang para homoseksual, serta persamaan dan perbedaan didalam ketiga puisi tersebut. Metode yang digunakan dalam penelitian ini adalah kajian pustaka dan mengandung teori pembahasan puisi (denotasi-konotasi, majas, dan tema) serta teori pokok dengan menggunakan teori queer untuk menganalisa homoseksualitas. Penelitian ini telah mengungkapkan beberapa informasi penting; pertama,setiap puisi menyampaikan beberapa tema yang menunjukkan cara pandang para homoseksual tentang hidup mereka dan permasalahannya, kedua adalah persamaan dan perbedaan dalam ketiga puisi. Melalui analisa homoseksualitas terbukti bahwa para homoseksual disetiap puisi memiliki permasalahan dan cara pandang tersendiri, dan dijabarkan pula persamaan dan perbedaan dalam ketiga puisi. Persamaan yang dapat ditemukan dalam ketiga puisi yaitu para homoseksual di setiap puisi memiliki tujuan hidup yang sama yaitu mereka mencoba untuk mendapatkan pengakuan dari masyarakat. Selain persamaan, terdapat juga perbedaan yang dapat ditemukan didalam ketiga puisi, yaitu para homoseksual di setiap puisi memiliki cara pandang dan permasalahan masing-masing.

Kata Kunci: Queer, Homoseksualitas, Puisi Homo, Persamaan, Perbedaan

INTRODUCTION

Language as the media for communication, through language people can express their feeling or idea about something to the receiver. Movie, novel, short story, play or poetry can be the medium for expressing the experience, feeling or idea. This research focuses on poetry as the media analysis. Poetry is the literary work that can be formed from the writer’s feeling, observation, or experience. In poetry, a poet asks readers to participate in understanding the meaning or even their world. The language used in poetry can be far from the ordinary words and the words can be explained more than one meaning. In order to understand the meaning of words, the reader should read the whole content of what a poetry says (Arp 2005, p.25).

This research provides an analysis of poetry that relates to gay criticism or queer as the main theory and elements of poetry will also be used to understand more about the deeper meaning in three gay poems that the writer has chosen. The poems that has been chosen as the sample for this research are “Because I’m Gay” by Mark Sanders, “So I’m..Gay” by Dan Brown, and “Being Gay Is Just like Being Human” by Nicholas Gordon. The reasons of choosing this topic are the writer is interested in exploring several issues in three gay poems which have some similarities and differences, as well as to improve the analytical skill in understanding the meaning of a poem. The writer used the previous study that done by Mellisa Thamrin, an alumni of English Student in Bina Nusantara University (2011). The research is about analyzing the queer character in “Glee” television series. The writer is decided to make research in similar issue by using queer theory but only focuses on poetry.

RESEACRH METHOD

The method to conduct this research is library research. This research begins by collecting the poems randomly, and then the writer chooses the three sample of gay poems which have similar issues i.e. “Because I’m Gay”, “So I’m..Gay”, and “Being Gay Is Just like Being Human”. After collecting the poems as the sample analysis then the writer collects several theories that relates to the issues in the poems. The theories that relate to the main issue in this research are homosexuality, queer theory, and elements of poetry (denotation-connotation, figurative language, and theme.). Data analysis of this research begins from understanding each poem by paraphrasing and then analyzing them by poetical analysis which are denotation-connotation, figurative language, and theme analysis. After poetical analysis, the writer analyzes each poem using the queer theory to analyze the homosexuality. This research is done to answer several questions i.e. the homosexuals’ perception reveal using elements of poetry, the problems that the homosexuals have to face in their lives, the similarities and differences of three gay poems.

RESEARCH REPORT

Poetical and Queer Analysis on “Because I’m Gay”

Because I’m Gay

The walls are falling in on me,(1)

Because I’m gay(2)

People will eat my soul out, (3)

Because I’m gay.(4)

People will call me a fag,(5)

Because I’m gay.(6)

People will beat me,(7)

Because I’m gay.(8)

People will be full of hate,(9)

Because I’m gay.(10)

I feel uncomfortable in church,(11)

Because I’m gay.(12)

The pastor kicks me out,(13)

Because I’m gay.(14)

My own family abandons me,(15)

Because I’m gay.(16)

I have to fight to get married,(17)

Because I’m gay.(18)

At times I have to wear me mask,(19)

Because I’m gay,(20)

I feel so alone,(21)

Because I’m gay.(22)

There is nothing left for me,(23)

Because I’m gay.(24)

There is a bullet in my head,(25)

Because I’m gay.(26)

The part of analysis begins with the analysis of basic elements of poetry, such as: paraphrase, denotation-connotation, figurative language, and theme. The second part is the main analysis which is queer analysis in order to find out the problems that the homosexuals have to face, their perception about their lives through poetry, the similarities and differences of three gay poems.

The poem “Because I’m Gay” by Mark Sanders tells about the feeling of someone who is gay or homosexual when faced the problems in his life. Denotation-connotation analysis delivers several ideas in this poem, such as: the struggle of being gay, a gay who desires for acceptance from people as being normal person, and pessimistic.The figurative language analysis shows that this poem has only one significant figurative language which is symbol, for example: in the first line, there is ‘walls’ that represents the heavy burden that a gay has to bear in his life. The symbols that found in the poem support the idea that the persona is a pessimist because he feels that he doesn’t have a reason to survive in his life because he doesn’t have any family or friends. Besides that, he always harassed by the society and it makes him struggling to live in which he cannot bear anymore at last. After denotation-connotation and figurative language analysis, the poem delivers into several intended themes, such as: sorrow and surrender.

The second part analysis is queer analysis. The poem “Because I’m Gay” tells about the feeling of someone who is gay or homosexual when faced the problems in his life and he tends to be a closed gay. the whole poem shows the struggle of the persona as being gay, in his life he has to face the problems around him. The problems that the persona has to face are coming from the internal and external. The external problems that the persona has to face are the harassment from society and family. The harassment can be a form of direct action that shows in line 7 & 13 as direct action (beat, kick out) and in line 3, 5, 9, & 15 as indirect action (eat, soul out, fag, full of hate, abandons). These words describe a satire, gossip, scorn, or oppression as the form of rejection from people to the persona that they do not accept him as a gay or homosexual. Besides the external problems, there are also internal problems that t5he persona has to face. The problems come from the family and from inside the persona. The first internal problem comes from the family. In general, family is a place to study or basic education about everything for every family member especially for the children includes as a place for the identity formation. In fifth stanza line 15 shows the sentence “my own family abandons me”, this sentence can serve as the internal problem for the persona. The identity of the persona comes from in his family first, and it shows that his family also does not accept him even as their son. His family does not accept him and it makes the persona becomes more isolated because he not only gets the harassment from the society but he also gets the banished from the family. From this aspect, it makes the persona’s perception becomes stronger that nobody wants him and it also can be as the factor or the reason of the persona becomes a gay. From those problems make the persona’s life becomes heavier and it also describe the struggle of being gay.

The internal problem –problem inside the persona– is formed then the persona as a gay was facing his problems that come from outside or society (external problems), because the problems that come from outside can influence someone’s perception then formed as the personality or character.In the whole poem of every stanza especially in line 2 and 4 show the sentence of “because I’m gay”, this sentence can be defined as the persona’s perception as a gay or as a form of the main cause for his problems and it makes him becomes more depressed. This statement can also be a form of rejection for himself, or in other words he also cannot accept himself as gay or queer. All of the problems are formed of rejection to homosexuals. The problems that the persona faces have influenced him emotionally or mentally. The main purpose of his life is too get admission from people as a normal human. His struggle to get acceptance from people is not successful. People always underestimate the homosexuals that homosexuality is sinful, an illness, or a disease and it makes the persona becomes more difficult to find or show his identity and he has to deal with this when his is reveling himself. At the end of the poem shows that he persona’s life is over.

From his life that is shown in the poem “Because I’m Gay” describes that beside of being a pessimist, it also shows that he is a closed gay or limited homosexual (accordance to Appiah, p.9) which means a gay who tries to abuse his identity as a homosexual. In his life, he can only think about the ways to get an admission from people in order to be free as being a gay but the fact he cannot get it and it turns him to act as a normal person (line 19).

Poetical and Queer Analysis on “So I’m..Gay”

So I’m… Gay

My name is Dan, and because of you,(1)

I walk with my head down, ashamed to look people in the eye.(2)

My name is Dan, and because of you,(3)

I cannot be free to be who I am, and every time I have to lie.(4)

My name is Dan, and because of you,(5)

I am afraid to go out on my own.(6)

My name is Dan, and because of you,(7)

I must sit in my bedroom, sobbing alone.(8)

My name is Dan, and because of you,(9)

I believe the world is a spiteful, hateful place.(10)

My name is Dan, and because of you,(11)

I can never reveal my one true face.(12)

My name is Dan, and because of you,(13)

My parents very nearly lost their son.(14)

My name is Dan, and because of you,(15)

The bigoted race very nearly won.(16)

But no.(17)

My name is Dan, and I’m bigger than you.(18)

My name is Dan, and I’m better than you.(19)

And the whole of “my people”? They are too.(20)

So now I don’t listen to what you say.(21)

It won’t change anything anyway.(22)

I’m sorry you don’t like it, but what can I say?(23)

My name is Dan, and yes I’m gay.(24)

The poem “So I’m..Gay” by Dan Brown tells about the recognition of someone as being gay. Denotation-connotation analysis delivers several ideas in this poem, such as: a gay who desires for acceptance from people and the declaration of the persona as being gay. The figurative language analysis shows that there are two types of figurative language that are found in this poem such as: metaphor and symbol, for example: the metaphor is in the third stanza, there is ‘spiteful’ (line 12) that condenses disappointment, revenge, or hate. The symbol is in third stanza which is ‘world’ that symbolizes the darkest place or hell (torturing place). The figurative languages that are found in the poem support the idea that although the persona as a homosexual has to face big problems from the people or society, it doesn’t make him give up of his life. The main reason is although he has followed the social conventions of not becoming a gay, for him it will not help and change the condition that he is still a gay so he decides to be himself and for him it is better to be a homosexual.After denotation-connotation and figurative language analysis, the poem delivers into several intended themes, such as: optimism and recognition.

The second part analysis is queer analysis. The poem “So I’m..Gay” tells aboutthe recognition of someone as being gay. The whole poem shows the feeling and perception of the persona about the problems in his life. As same as the normal human, the persona as being gay also has to face the problems in his life and it comes from the outside or the external problem and the internal problem. From the first until fourth stanza, they describe the feeling of persona when he is facing problems and it can also serve as a form of his struggle.In the first stanza, there are words such as ‘head down’ (line 2), ‘ashamed’ (line 2), ‘cannot be free’ (line 4), and ‘lie’ (line 4). In the second stanza, there are ‘afraid’ (line 6), ‘sobbing alone’ (line 8). In the third stanza, there is “I believe the world is a spiteful, hateful place” (line 10) and “never reveal my one true face” (line 12). In the fourth stanza, there is “very nearly lost their son” (line 14). These words describe the persona’s feeling about his problems and it’s obvious that it is coming from the outside or society. It explains that those expressions that persona feels has already covered his life as being gay and it also can be as a description of his struggle as being gay in facing the problems. Almost every stanza, especially in first and third line always show “My name is Dan, and because of you”, from this sentence explains that the persona in this poem tends to blame the people who dislike gays and for him it becomes the main problem in his life. It can be different with the previous poem “Because I’m Gay” that every stanza especially in second and fourth line shows the sentence “Because I’m gay” which explains the persona tends to blame himself as his main problem. This description tells that every gay men usually have to face the homophobic or heterosexists –the people who always try to abuse the homosexuals identity–.

There is also internal problem that the persona has to face, besides the external problem. The internal problem comes from inside the persona. Actually the biggest problem that the persona has to face is himself because the problems that he faces have influenced him emotionally, it often shows in every stanza that the persona always shows his feelings, such as: ‘ashamed’ (line 2), ‘afraid’ (line 6), and ‘sobbing’ (line 8). These words can serve as a form of disappointment to the people and also to himself and it also can serve as a proof that the problems have made the persona becomes isolated. It can be the biggest problem for the persona when he fights to defeat himself because it will determine the next decision that persona takes. At the end of the poem shows that persona reveals his identity and it explains that he also success in against himself. The different is with the first poem, the persona’s life is over (decides to commit suicide or killed by someone) and it can be symbolized as despair.All of his feelings are formed of his struggle in getting the acceptance from people. The internal problem –problem that comes from inside the persona– is formed when the persona as a gay was facing his external problem, because the problems from society can influence someone’s perception then formed as the personality. In the whole poem of every stanza especially in first and third line show the sentence of “My name is Dan, and because of you”, this sentence can be defined that the persona tends to blame people or society which condenses as ‘you’ as the main cause for his problem, for him because of the people the persona has to fight defeat himself and also struggle in getting an admission. Every way has done by him in order to solve his problem, but it isn’t successful then the new perception appears.