The Church As a Family

“THE CHURCH AS A FAMILY”

MATTHEW 12:46-50

INTRO: Rudyard Kipling once wrote about families, “ all of us are we—and

everyone else is they. ” A family shares things like dreams, hopes,

possessions, memories, smiles, frowns, and gladness...A family is a

clan held together with the glue of love and the cement of mutual

respect. A family is shelter from the storm, a friendly port when the

waves of life become too wild. No person is ever alone who is a

member of a family. –Fingertip Facts(10,000 sermon illustrations. 2000 (electronic ed.).

Biblical Studies Press: Dallas)

According to a study of more than 500 family counselors, the

following are the top traits of successful families:

• Communicating and listening

• Affirming and supporting family members

• Respecting one another

• Developing a sense of trust

• Sharing time and responsibility

• Knowing right from wrong

• Having rituals and traditions

• Sharing a religious core

• Respecting privacy.

(December, 1988, Focus on the Family Bulletin)

Our Lord Jesus, while here on earth, both by teaching and example,

showed us that He was family oriented. We see:

He went into people’s homes to eat and enjoy fellowship with them.
He attended the wedding in Cana of a friend.
He said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me.” (Matthew 19:14; Mark 19:14; Luke 18:16).
He said in His dying hour, “Woman, behold thy son!” (John 19:26). And,”behold thy mother!” (John 19:27).

Just as Jesus valued the family so should we value the family. In

fact, I want us to consider tonight that we should also value our

spiritual family, The Church. I want to speak tonight on, THE

CHURCH AS A FAMILY. We should prize our spiritual family very

highly. How should we feel about it? How should we treat it? Let us

note first of all…

(1) FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER

ROMANS 12:9-10—“Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which

is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to

another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.”

A. LOVE IS THE MASTER’S COMMANDMENT. Paul says here—“Let love be

without dissimulation…” (v9). If you look up the word “dissimulation” in the

dictionary, you will find that it means “to conceal intentions or feelings by

turn around and gab, gossip, and belittle them every chance we get. We

pick at their faults instead of praise their strengths.

ILLUS: The Tates

Some families make church their home. Others find other uses for the

church. Take the notorious Tate family, for example. Perhaps you ’ve

met some of them. The chief of the clan is old Dic Tate, who insists on

running everything in church. His brother Ro Tate wants to change

everything. Aunt Agi Tate has a knack for stirring up trouble; and her

husband, Irri Tate, always lends a hand.

The next generation of Tates has its own characteristics. Hesi Tate and

his wife, Vege Tate, would just as soon wait until next year whenever a

new project is suggested. Aunt Imi Tate would love to create the first

generic church. Devas Tate announces constantly that the church is

doomed, while her husband Poten Tate promises he can lead the

church out of trouble. –Today in the Word, May, 1996, p. 8(10,000 sermon

illustrations. 2000 (electronic ed.). Biblical Studies Press: Dallas).

The Bible commands us to love each other with a REAL LOVE! I don’t

about you, but I am growing tired of people who say they love you but don’t

really mean what they say! Jesus said in John 13:34-35—“A new

commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you,

that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my

disciples, if ye have love one to another.” Friends, just as members of a earthly

family love each other we should love our brothers and sisters in Christ. The Bible

is filled with commandments for us to love one another. 1 John 2:9-11

tells us—“He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in

darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and

there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in

darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth,

because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.” 1 John 3:14 assures us—

“We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the

brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.” And 1 John 4:7-8

says—“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that

loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God;

for God is love.” Friends, The Bible commands us to love one another but

also…

B. LOVE MEANS COMMITMENT. 1 Peter 4:8 tells us—“And above all things

have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude

of sins.” They key word there is “fervent”. It means “without ceasing”. The

wordsabove all indicate that love would help these Christians face

suffering. The mutual love, support, and encouragement would be a great

defense. When we are called upon to have “fervent charity”, it means

sustained, eager, earnest; in other words, keep your love at full strength.

(The same word was used in 1:22.) No Christian is an island; no one is

alone. When believers experience deep love from the fellowship, they have

the human network of support that can help them through any crisis.

of FindEx.com, Inc.). Jesus said in John 13:35—“By this shall all menknow that

ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

ILLUS: Jesus said that our Christlike love will show that we are his disciples.

Do people see petty bickering, jealousy, and division in your church?

Or do they know you are Jesus’ followers by your love for one another?

Love is more than simply warm feelings; it is an attitude that reveals

itself in action. How can we love others as Jesus loves us? By helping

when it’s not convenient, by giving when it hurts, by devoting energy to

others’ welfare rather than our own, by absorbing hurts from others

without complaining or fighting back. This kind of loving is hard to do.

That is why people notice when you do it and know you are

empowered by a supernatural source.(Life Application Bible Commentary: John.

rights reserved. Life Application is a registered trademark of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Electronic

FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER and also…

(2) FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER

EPHESIANS 4:31-32—“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and

clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

A. THOSE WITHOUT FORGIVENESS HARBOR RESENTMENTS. We hurt

and get hurt. Many wear their feelings on their sleeves, so to speak. Let

share something with you this evening. It is impossible to work in a Church

for a very long time and not get your feelings hurt. But it is how we handle

the hurt when it comes that makes all the difference. Sometimes a member

doesn’t have to say anything, maybe they just look a certain way, and

someone will take it wrong. If we harbor those hurt feelings, they will

consume our lives. Our love won’t be right. Our labor won’t be right.

Believers must…be constantlyforgiving one another. In what way?Even as

God in Christ forgave you. Though Christ has bridged the gap between us

and God so that we are forgiven once and for all, we only experience God’s

forgiveness in personal, practical ways as we learn to forgive others from

day to day. None of us has experienced as great a wrong against ourselves

that which we have all done to God (Matthew 18:33). God had to give up his

only Son to forgive us; we have nothing to give up but our selfish natures

and our unwillingness to forgive those who have wronged us.(Life Application Bible

Someone has said, “Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than

resentment.” –FRIEDRICH WILHELM NIETZSCHE (1844–1900). Another

said, “There is no torment like the inner torment of an unforgiving spirit. It

refuses to be soothed, it refuses to be healed, it refuses to forget. –Charles

Draper). THOSE WITHOUT FORGIVENESS HARBOR RESENTMENTS but…

B. THOSE WITH FORGIVENESS HEAL RELATIONSHIPS. Friends, when we

get hurt we ought to get it settled rather than running off mad. Many are

out of Church today, wasting their lives, simply over some trifling matter.

The Bible has a plan for us to follow in getting differences settled. It is

found in Ephesians 4:31-32. What is the plan? :

DON’T FOCUS ON THE HURT. The more you focus on it the more bitter you will become.
DON’T FUEL THE HURT. Paul said here—“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice…”. Friends, those are the things that fuel the hurt. If you look back in Ephesians 4:30 it tells us—“And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.” Paul gives us a surprising reason for choosing the right over the wrong: so that we don’t grieve the Holy Spirit—not just so that we don’t hurt one another, but also so that we do not sadden God the Spirit. What a powerful incentive to do what is right and avoid what is evil! What a privilege and responsibility to know that our actions have that kind of effect on God. How do your words, thoughts, and behavior impact him?(Life Application Bible Commentary: Ephesians. Copyright © 1996 by The Livingstone Corporation. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, Illinois. All rights reserved. Life Application is a registered trademark of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Electronic Edition STEP Files Copyright © 2002, Parsons Church Group, a division of FindEx.com, Inc.).
DO FORGIVE HONESTLY. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note—torn in two and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.00Henry Ward Beecher. “I can forgive, but I cannot forget,” is only anotherway of saying, “I will not forgive.”—Henry Ward Beecher (1813–1887). (Draper's Book of Quotations for the Christian World. Copyright: Copyright © 1992 by Edythe Draper). Friends, we may not be able to forget what was done to us, but we don’t have to dwell on it, nurture it, and feed it.

FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER, and…

(3) FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO OVERLOOK EACH OTHER’S FAULTS

AND WEAKNESSES

1 PETER 4:8b—“… charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”

A. WE RUSH TO FIND FAULT. So often we are so intent on finding fault in

others that we fail to see the fault in ourselves. Jesus made this very plain

in Matthew 7:3-5—“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy

brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how

wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and,

behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam

out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out

of thy brother's eye.” Someone said, “If we had no faults of our own, we

would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.” –François,

Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613–1680). Faults are thick where love is

in Matthew 7:1-2—“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what

judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it

shall be measured to you again.”

ILLUS: Jesus tells us to examine our motives and conduct instead of judging

others. The traits that bother us in others are often the habits we

dislike in ourselves. Our untamed bad habits and behaviors are the

very ones that we most want to change in others. Do you find it easy to

magnify others’ faults while excusing your own? If you are ready to

criticize someone, check to see if you deserve the same criticism.

Judge yourself first, and then lovingly forgive and help your

rights reserved. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, Illinois. Life Application is a registered

Church Group, a division of FindEx.com, Inc.).

B. WE REHEARSE ONE ANOTHER’S FAULTS. Friend, if you go about trying

to find fault with someone you eventually will find it. None of us are

perfect. We are all fallible creatures. We all fall, sin, make mistakes, and

fail to live up to each other’s expectations. It is bad enough to rush to find

fault but to rehearse one another’s faults is terrible. We find something we

don’t like about a person or find a way in them that does not meet our

expectations and then we go anywhere and everywhere telling anyone and

everyone who will listen what we have found out. Brethren, it ought not to

be so! Family members ought to get everything settled before they go to

bed at night. Ephesians 4:26 tells us—“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not

the sun go down upon your wrath.” If we get angry, we must do so without

sinning. To do this, we should deal with our anger before the sun goes

down. According to Deuteronomy, sunset was the time by which wrongs

against God and against others should be made right (Deuteronomy

24:13,15). Anger that is allowed to smolder and burn over time can

eventually burst into flame andgive the devil a foothold, causing people to

sin as they become bitter and resentful. We should resist the devil (James

4:7). Satan can use our anger against one another to destroy our unity and

our love. It is so much better to deal with the situation immediately… (Life

FindEx.com, Inc.).

ILLUS: Adrian Rogers, long time Pastor of Belleview Baptist Church in

Memphis, TN, now at home with the Lord, said, “Where there had

been a quarrel or misunderstanding one of the parties ought to run

to make it right and as he was running he ought to meet the other

running to him to do the same.

FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER, FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO OVERLOOK EACH OTHER’S FAULTS AND WEAKNESSES and…

(4) FAMILY MEMBERS OUGHT TO WORK TOGETHER

PHILIPPIANS 1:27—“Only let your conversation be as it becometh the

gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent,

I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one

mind striving together for the faith of the gospel.”

A. A SINGULAR MINISTRY. Friends, we are to be working together not

against each other. We are all working for the same cause. Paul says here

in Philippians 1:27—“…that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind,

striving together for the faith of the gospel.” This speaks of being united.

The believers were to bestanding firm in one spirit. This is an exhortation to spiritual solidarity…The Holy Spirit unites Christians into one spiritual group. If they can stand firm in the Spirit, they can overcome small differences among individual members and work forcefully toward a common goal—to withstand external persecution.The believers were to bestriving side by side with one mind for the faith of the gospel. Like athletes on a team, they were to work together with one mind focused on one goal—to help advance the faith that comes through the preaching of the gospel. In order to face opposition, they needed to be of “one mind,” unhindered by internal dissension, jealousies, and rivalries (2:1-18).(Life Application Bible Commentary: Philippians, Colossians, & Philemon. Copyright © 1995 by The Livingstone Corporation. All rights reserved. Life Application is a registered trademark of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Electronic Edition STEP Files Copyright © 2002, Parsons Church Group, a division of FindEx.com, Inc.).

B. A SINGULAR MOTIVE. There is something for everyone to do. The older

members of the family should train the younger ones and help them to

grow. There is no room for jealously. WE all have different talents and gifts

but each and all are needed. Our singular motive as a Church family