Hoop Scene Investigation
This story is a work of fiction. References to any basketball-related names and/or events are used to lend a sense of authenticity to the story.
In these times of increased scrutiny in all facets of American business, the sports world is not absolved or pardoned from the call for increasedtransparency. The demand and necessity ofmore disclosure in sports is being felt at all levels –players, teams, management, owners and governing bodies. After much internal deliberation, we determined that it is in our best interest to come forward and divulge our existenceto the general public as a independent, non-league funded and/or affiliated agency – we are members of the unit known as…
HSI:Springfield/Hoop Scene Investigation.
(Note: many of the names used in this story have been changed to protect the identities of HSI agents and the innocent.)
This is our story…
HSI: Springfield…the early years:
Springfield, Massachusetts, mid-1960’s, on a blustery, New England winter evening, fans whooped with joy and spilled out of a bar and onto the neighborhood’s worn-down, cobblestone street in celebration of another amazing Boston Celtics victory. Three off-duty, homicide detectives from Springfield’s police department were sitting at this local watering hole, downing their favorite beverages and watching the game on the bar’s black-n-white TV with an aluminum foil covered “rabbit ear” antennae, precariously perched on a make-shift shelf, just above and to the right of the barkeep’s sink. All three detectives were long time vets of law enforcement and keenly trained to observe any scene for details that just didn’t “add up.”
A nondescript man approached them at the bar and placed a business card down on the bar by their drinks – a phone number was all that was printed on the card. He never uttered a word to the three friends and walked briskly out of the bar, disappearinginto the celebratory chaos on the street.
Ever curious and suspicious, the detectives gave each other a quizzical glance, got up from the bar, went to a pay phone, dropped in a dime and dialed the number. A man’s voice answered on the other end, “This is the GUARDian...”All three detectives craned their necks to listen to the voice as he quickly explained who he represented and why the three men had been approached.
He then shared simple, direct anddetailed instructions to the detectives about how this “arrangement” would work. After sharing the particulars, he asked if the detectives were willing to be party to this highly sensitive work – they unanimously agreed. The call took no more than two minutes.
That evening HSI: Springfield was formed.
Sworn to uphold the integrity of the game of basketball, the HSI team is made up of a unit of passionate, vigilant, hoops-lovin’ investigators – you can think of them as the Justice League of Basketball!This small group of detectiveshas conducted clandestine investigations, as directed by the GUARDians for decades, involving basketball moments that defied explanation. Over the years this remarkable investigative team has secretly “authenticated” countless moments* in the game deemed, by the GUARDians, to be of a suspicious and/or improbable nature. HSI is tasked with gathering evidence, processing it, and delivering a final disposition about a remarkable moment, team or player in question.
Agent 31081958’s Journey to HSI:
I’m the nephew of one of the original members of the HSI: Springfield trio and I always knew that I would be a part of HSI: Springfield. My uncle, Bobby “Can’t Play Dead” Carter, shared sanitized versions of the cases with me as a kid and I was fascinated by the process, the meticulous procedures and the process used by his team to deconstruct game scenarios and ultimately determined HOW and WHY these basketball moments occurred. When we would watch game’s together he would always say, “there’s more to this game than meets the eye. The dribblin’, shootin’, dunkin’, and coachin’ is a small part of it. You need to be able to see the game-within-the-game and watch it with an eye for things out of the ordinary. Lookin’ at the player’s on the bench, the assistant coaches, the athletic trainer, the ball boys - they all can play a role in an unexplainable outcome.” My uncle said that my destiny was to be HSI.
The details of my recruitment into HSI are not important. It is enough to say that my military service, my work in the human intelligence/”humint”area and my sports background were factors that quickly got me identified for work within HSI. It was decided that I would be groomed to be a member of the elite HSI division known as SneakerTread. The members of SneakerTread are known as The13 - in honor of Naismith’s original set of 13 rules. The 13 function as splinter-cell agents, known internally as ITPs or In-The-Paint Operatives* , sworn to use their training to uphold the integrity and honor of the game as it was intended by its inventor, James Naismith. * In-The-Paint/ITP Operative = an ITP operative is trained to work as a double agent, on the inside of the game.
Some Past HSI cases*:
(* Due to the sensitivity of the work, a full list of the HSI cases are still protected under the HPA/Hoops Privacy Act of 1989 and are not available for public review at this time)
Boston Celtics winning NBA titles from ’59-‘69
1962 – Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 point performance
1966 – Texas Western University’s victory vs. Kentucky
Earl “The Pearl” Monroe’s legendary ball handling skill
“The Doctor” Julius Erving’s dunking ability
Pistol Pete’s dribbling methods and scoring ability, wearing Chucks with floppy Wigwam socks
1970 NBA Finals Game 7
1979 - Magic Johnson’s MSU vs. Larry Bird’s ISU game that “changed” the basketball landscape
Larry Bird – everything about him just didn’t add up (physique, hoop roots, hoop IQ genius)
1983 - NC State’s NCAA title victory over the heavily favored Univ. of Houston in
UCLA’s 88 game winning streak
The Michael Jordan era with the Chicago Bulls – the “shot” vs. Cleveland and Utah, the multiple championships, the Breakfast Club
Coach Phil Jackson – Chicago Bulls, LA Lakers, Sacred Hoops
Allen Iverson’s 1995 cross-over moments and how it necessitated a rule change in the NBA
1996 – 50 Greatest NBA players announced on October 29th as part of the NBA at 50 celebration
Chris Paul’s breaking the 2009 regular-season consecutive steals record
The dramatic increase in “BIGS” with point-guard skills and wing player range/accuracy – Dirk Nowitzki is a priority subject
All thingsLebron James - determining the origin of his preternatural abilities
(Note: currently, our case load exceeds our workforce capacity, therefore we are focusing agent efforts on cases we deem to be the most deleterious to the game at this time.)
Agent 31081958/note about a “special” past case: HSI received tips from a reliable source that an unusual number of NBA players were seen reading copies of Rick Reilly’s book Slo-Mo in the early 2000s. It should be noted that Reilly’s book was investigated in 1999 by HSI for its not-too-far-from-the-truth based content and twisted humor about the game - the GUARDians of the Game decided to give the book a “pass” and deemed it to be a playful look at life in the NBA. If not for that “OK” from the GUARDians, it is safe to say that Rick Reilly probably would not be the celebrated storyteller he is today – his career would simply be a footnote in sports journalism. Lucky for all you who have enjoyed his work and for Rick too!
The 2009 NBA Playoffs:
The 13wereplaced on an increased state of alert and were dispatched to all opening series locales for 2009 NBA playoff. As sure as you could count on the fact that this past playoff season would bring disputed calls, controversial moments, high-hoops-drama…you could count on this:Wherever “Amazing” occured this year, The 13 were paying close attention and ascertaining all pertinent information to assure that it was simply an Amazing, athletic feat and not the result of some “outside or unnatural” influence/circumstance.Things that may have beeneasily missed by the fan grimacing in anguish or in full-throat scream professing his/her joy and delirium for the result was fully evaluated and vetted by the HSI team.
The level of vigilance and attention-to-detail applied to the 2009 playoff match-ups were unprecedented. HSI continued to be mindful of the role the current economic upheaval may play in creating a convenient “cover” for unexplainable moments in the game. With the nation’s attention fixed on money and employment matters and sports providing a welcome break and distraction, the possibility of gameday high jinks on the hardwood could have been in play - without the presence of HSI, fans could have been duped in unspeakable ways!
HSI 2009 NBA WATCH LIST: each playoff season, we create our own internal nomenclature/identifier for a particular series, a specific player or a marquee match-up that warrants our attention. Here’s an example of a few of our 2009 week One case designators:
Heavy is the head: Bulls road win vs. defending league champ Boston (albeit w/out the Beantown’s KinG)
Cool your Jets: Blazers get playoff hoops fever and Rockets plan to bring antidote to cool/calm down RipCity
Not On My Watch: ‘Bron not cavalier about wanting 1stHoops Championship in city known for WTF?! sports moments
The West will rise: Kobe and LaLa Landers poised for Western Conference dominance and dethroning the East
NOLA Numb3rs: Will the equation of CP3 + NOLA4 x Bayou Buzz = fool’s gold for Mile High Hoops squad
Thanks for the memories: Philly’s Spectrum gone for good…are playoff W’s a thing of the past for 2009 Sixers too?!
Oh, Oh, Oh, it’s Magic: Could the Magic’s“Supaman” make their hoops dreams come true or will the first round opponent be a super villain?
The Texas Twister: Will the intense in-state rivalry steal precious playoff passion and seal a quick fate for this series’ winner?
This is a Dwyane’s World:It will mean nothing without some hoop luv from his Heatmates and an ATL team still revelin’ in the playoff past
It’s a Series NOW!:In response to all the Game 1 home court losses, agents were carefully monitoring this developing scenario
So, while you were gazing upon the-screen-of-your-choice,your eyeballs intently affixed to the on-court action, devouring the 2009 playoff games, tossing back a libation and munching on your gameday snacks, The 13 weremaintaining their vigilance and duty to the game.
We continueto be an ever-present team who are diabolically dutiful and deliriously diligent in our efforts to uphold the game that was the genius of one man, gained its traction on the hardwoods and blacktops of the US, is now played by millions around the world, and boasts a following surpassed only by the global game of soccer.
We say it all the time at HSI HQ… Amazing happens on the hardwood with a “dime” from HSI!
Enjoy the 2009 – 2010 NBA season…HSI will be guarding the game you love…