ARIZONA JOE GIRL 1
INDIANA JANE GIRL 2
BRUNO
PROPS: “Hero for Hire” sign, marker, (2) artificial trees or tall bushes, playground ball, round sign that reads “JOE IS A DUMMY,” rubber snake
ARIZONA JOE: RESPECTING OTHERS
(Opening Scene: BRUNO is reading a sign in the park)
BRUNO: (reading) “Hero for Hire. Arizona Joe can’t wait to rescue you. Call 1-800-HERO. You know what? I’m tired of Arizona Joe. Joe thinks he’s so cool, rescuing everyone. I’m going to have a little fun.
(BRUNO draws a moustache on the picture of Arizona Joe on the sign, inserts the words, “NOT” and “DON’T,” then hides. TWO GIRLS ENTER to retrieve a bouncy playground ball they are playing with.)
GIRL 1: (laughing) Look! Someone put a moustache on Arizona Joe. They must not like him too much.
GIRL 2: Yeah, and look what they wrote: Arizona Joe is NOT waiting to rescue you. DON’T call 1-800-HERO. Isn’t that funny?
GIRL 1: Yeah!
(GIRLS laugh and JOE ENTERS)
JOE: Hello, girls. Do you know of anyone who needs to be rescued?
BOTH GIRLS: Don’t call Joe; don’t call Joe; don’t call Joe!
(GIRLS laugh as they EXIT)
JOE: That was strange. Anyway, I know I have a sing around here somewhere. Hopefully, the wind hasn’t blown it over or anything like that.
(JOE finds the sign and inspects it)
JOE: Nope. The sign is still hanging just fine. That’s good.
(JOE does a double-take, realizing the sign has been altered)
JOE: (reading altered sign) “Arizona Joe is NOT waiting to rescue you;” “DON’T call 1-800-HERO,” and a moustache? Now I see why those girls were making fun of me . . . because somebody else made fun of my poster. But I don’t have any enemies . . . at least none that I know of. How strange!
(JOE removes the sign and EXITS with it)
BRUNO (stepping out from hiding spot) Joe is fun to mess with. I’m going to do MORE things to Joe!
(Scene Two: At home, JANE is fixing lunch)
(JOE ENTERS with the altered sign)
JOE: Hi, Jane.
JANE: Hello, Joe. Did you have any rescue adventures today?
JOE: Oh yeah. I had a great adventure with a couple of girls who were making fun of me. I think it was because of the sign.
JANE: What sign?
JOE: THIS sign. (holding it up) I made this “Hero for Hire” sign last week. Now look at it! Someone changed the words so that it sounds like I don’t want to rescue anyone.
JANE: (looking at the sign) And they even had the nerve to put a moustache on you! Who could have done such a thing, Joe?
JOE: That’s just it; I don’t know, Jane.
SOUND EFFECT: telephone rings
JOE: (picking up phone) Hello?
BRUNO: (off-stage) Hello, Joe; this is Bru . . . I mean this is Bob. I want to hire you.
JOE: Great! What can I do for you?
BRUNO: I got my Frisbee stuck in a tree in the park.
JOE: I’m sorry about that. I’ll meet you in the park in ten minutes. Bye!
BRUNO: Okay. Bye.
JANE: Who was that, Joe?
JOE: Good news, Jane; somebody wants me to do a rescue.
JANE: Great! What is it this time? Is it some poor mailman who is about to be attacked by a vicious dog?
JOE: Well, no. It’s a Frisbeestuckinatree.
JANE: What was that, Joe?
JOE: (embarrassed) I said I am supposed to be rescuing a Frisbee stuck in a tree.
JANE: A Frisbee is stuck? That’s supposed to be a rescue adventure? Ha!
JOE: Well, it is a lot better than no adventure at all, so I must be going now. Good-bye, Jane.
JANE: Hurry back, Joe; lunch should be ready in about a half hour.
JOE: Okay, Jane.
(JOE and JANE EXIT)
(Scene Three: BRUNO sneaks into the park. Making sure no one is watching, he sticks a round sign among the branches of a fake tree and hides. JOE ENTERS and sees the sign.)
JOE: There’s the Frisbee! (he grabs it loose from the tree) Wait a minute . . . this is no Frisbee; this is another sign, and it says, “ARIZONA JOE IS A DUMMY.” You know, I’m very disappointed. Somebody thinks it’s funny to be disrespectful toward me.
(JOE EXITS, tearing up the sign as he leaves)
(Scene Four: JANE and JOE at home)
JOE: (book in hand) I am so mad I don’t even want to talk about it. I stopped at the library to get this book.
JANE: (looking at the title) “How to Get Even with People You Don’t Like”
JOE: It tells you how to build all kinds of booby traps.
JANE: I don’t know if that’s the answer, Joe.
(JANE EXITS)
JOE: (reading the book already) Of course it’s the answer. It will definitely make me feel a lot better to get even with this jerk, whoever it is. And it’s probably the only way to get them to stop bugging me.
(BRUNO sneaks into JOE’S house with a rubber snake. He drops the snake into JOE’S hat and hides.)
JOE: I’m going to go set one of those traps right now!
(JOE slaps his hat on his head. The snake startles him)
JOE: AAAAAAA!
BRUNO: (trying to control himself) Ha-ha-ha-ha!
JOE: (looking toward the sound) Bruno!
(BRUNO tries to escape, but JOE catches him by the wrist)
JOE: So you were the one on the telephone!
BRUNO: Yeah.
JOE: And you were the one who made the sign that said, “JOE IS A DUMMY!”
BRUNO: Yeah.
JOE: And you were the one who put a moustache on that picture of me!
BRUNO: Yeah.
(JANE ENTERS)
JANE: What’s going on in here? Bruno?
BRUNO: Joe is mad at me for playing tricks on him. I only did it because . . . because . . . I don’t know why. But I’m sorry, Joe. I was only trying to have some fun, not really meaning any disrespect by what I did.
JOE: You’re really sorry, Bruno?
BRUNO: Yeah.
JOE: (letting BRUNO go) Well, I can’t stay mad at someone who is truly sorry. Friends?
BRUNO: Friends.
(BRUNO and JOE shake hands in friendship)
THE END