Edgar Allan Poe Parody Assignment

Write a one- to two-page story or poem that is a humorous imitation of Edgar Allen Poe’s writing style. Choose a well-known nursery rhyme for your story line. Some possibilities are listed below. Your story will be evaluated on how closely you imitate Poe’s style, how well written the story is and your choice of vocabulary. You must illustrate your story.

Nursery Rhymes:

Georgie Porgie Mary Had a Little Lamb

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater Hey Diddle Diddle

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary Jack be Nimble, Jack Be Quick

Old King Cole Humpty Dumpty

Winkin, Blinkin and Nod Old Mother Hubbard

The Old Woman in a Shoe Little Jack Horner

Elements of Poe’s Style:

1.  First person narrator

2.  An exotic or gloomy setting

3.  The setting is vividly described and portrays the single effect desired (horror, melancholy, etc.)

4.  Narrator is mad or crazed

5.  Use of unusual, bizarre, exotic or foreign words

6.  Use of alliteration and assonance (Repetition of initial consonant sounds and vowel sounds)

7.  Long, complex sentences

8.  Much irony (statements are the opposite of what a character really intends or events are the opposite of what you would expect)

9.  The conflict is gradually revealed to build suspense.

Parody of Poe

“Little Miss Muffet” (in the fashion of Edgar Allen Poe)

Never before had I attempted anything so daring, anything so ghastly. But no longer could I control my wild, vicious desires. I asked myself over and over again, “Why?” But only the cold, howling wind lurking outside my darkened domicile responded to my queries.

This wild desire had haunted my days and caused me many a sleepless night. During the rare moments when sleep did envelop me, I only dreamed of ghastly souls crying out piteously in sheer agony and pain, in the flaming furnaces of hell.

As I dressed the next morning, my only thoughts were of how cleverly I had planned my crime, how flawless my plan was. It was indeed the perfect crime, sans faux.

I left my dwelling and progressed toward my dreadful destination. How clever I was, how unbelievably clever and sure of myself! I even stopped repeatedly to greet many of my acquaintances. I also paused momentarily at a small grocery store window, thus giving the appearance of someone looking over the merchandise, when in all actuality and truthfulness I was carrying out a small step in my plan. I was deceiving the watchful eye of the nearby residents. I entered the shop and cunningly made my way up the rear flight of stairs leading to my destination, the stairs leading to her room.

She’d be alone at this time of day, alone and unsuspecting of what evil treachery awaited her. She was a trusting soul, far too trusting. She believed in the goodness and love in all mankind, and never latched her windows or doors.

So quietly, so very quietly, I entered through the doors and made my way to the far corner of her room.

There she was, a tender sight to behold, unsuspecting, as I knew she would be. And there, gently placed beside her was my goal. The realization that all my wild desires could be attained by possessing my goal only a few paces before me drove my mind into a mad rage! Some ignorants term this temporary insanity, but it is only the result of my mad desires, so long withheld from me.

I surged toward her in a fit of wild passion, passion not for her unchained beauty and love, but instead for what she had next to her – her tempting, tantalizing curds and whey. The lovely Miss Muffett, seeing my wild desires clearly in my eyes, remained calmly seated on her small chaise. The look in her eyes was of madness, of sheer hatred and of disgust. But I had no time for her – only for her curds and whey. I approached the bowl, firmly placed my eight hands upon it, lifted it to my lips, and drank, expecting the sweetness of the curds and whey to flow gently forward. Instead the curds and whey held a rather distasteful bitterness, not unlike that of a commonly used insect killer for all types of insects, especially proficient in the art-of-annihilating – spiders!