There Are Two Main Kinds

Name ………………………………………..

Year 8

Geography

Essay Writing

Deserts

There are two main kinds

essays

expositions discussions

persuade discuss

describe compare

outline evaluate

one main argument more than one

or viewpoint argument or

viewpoint

All essays are like hamburgers….

How? State three ways that essays are like hamburgers:

1. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

2. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

3. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Add some other ways that you didn’t think of originally:

4. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

5. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

6. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

What do you think makes an essay get a good mark?

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You be the teacher……

Pretend you are a teacher marking the following Yr 8 essay. Make comments in the margins about how the essay could be improved or highlight the parts that make it difficult to understand.

Question Humans are responsible for desertification. Discuss.

Desertification is where semi-arid areas on the edges of deserts are getting drier and changing into full deserts. An example of this is the desert called the Sahel south of the sahara. Its getting bigger. We humans have had a huge impact on the process of deserts forming. In this essay I will outline the reasons for and against this.

Our deserts in Australia are getting bigger and this can be seen in desertification. We have caused this because we have over-grazed the middle of Australia. However not all of the deserts in the world are getting bigger because of us, although if you think global warming is caused by us (WHICH IT IS!) then its because of us. Global warming could also be a part of a natural cycle of climate change. The earth has been hotter before and it will be in the future too. Over-cultivating the land causes deserts to form too. Crops get put in soil that can’t hold them and then the nutrients which are in the soil are over-used and then gradually you lose all the nutrients and the soil just becomes dirt most of which will blow away because the plants can’t grow in it any more and there’s nothing to cling onto. If we burnt less coal this global warming problem wouldn’t be so bad. But then how would you fuel all of the industries in the world? And how would you like to have no heating in winter if you lived in a desert? Because they can get really cold in winter- especially at night.

In conclusion, I do not agree that humans have caused desertification. We have over cultivated and over grazed and also contributed to global warming, but this is also likely to be part of a natural cycle of climate change and therefore humans are not responsible. Another reason is for desertification is clearing all the trees.

Discussions

Purpose

· To allow different opinions to be explored.

Structure

· Introduction provides the thesis (main argument) and previews the arguments for and

against the topic.

· Body a series of paragraphs exploring the ‘for’ arguments are followed by a series

of paragraphs exploring the ‘against’ arguments. Alternatively, paragraphs can be arranged so that for and against arguments on the same theme appear one after the other.

· Conclusion the arguments for and against are summarised in the same order they

appeared in the body of the essay. A final recommendation may be given in the last sentence of the conclusion, or a general statement that doesn’t take sides (it depends on the essay topic).

Language Features

· Nominalisation (using a noun or noun group to represent an idea)

· Linking words – to help sentences and paragraphs flow

· Modality – words that show the speaker’s or author’s attitude

· Words that show cause and effect

· Third person

· No contractions

Using the right language for an essay

There are three ways you can make your essays sound more authoritative (ie. like you know what you’re talking about):

1. use 3rd person pronouns

2. don’t use slang or conversational language

3. don’t use contractions

Using 3rd person

A proper noun names an important person, place or thing. A pronoun replaces a proper noun.

Australia is an extraordinary island. It is rich in natural resources.

Sir David Attenborough is famous for his passionate

Activity

Circle the 1st and/or 2nd person pronouns in these sentences, then rewrite the sentences in 3rd person without changing the meaning of the sentence.

a) In our parent’s lifetime, there has been a growing body of evidence to show that deserts are increasing in size.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

b) In my opinion, deserts are the driest places on Earth.

c) You get major deserts in the interior of continents or on their west coasts.

d) The deserts in North America are different from ours in Australia.

e) We have some of the best adapted desert animals in our country.

f) If you reduce overgrazing, deforestation and excessive cultivation, you’ll reduce desertification.

g) We can argue that human activity has increased desertification.

h) Our hopping mouse survives the arid conditions of the desert by concentrating its urine.

i) You can tell if a plant belongs in a desert, because you’ll see its small and spiky leaves.

j) It’s up to us to try and minimise the impact we have on the processes of desertification.

Don’t use slang and/or conversational language

Activity

Imagine you are a teacher correcting an essay with the following sentences in it. Circle which words you think make the sentences sound too conversational, then rewrite the sentence to make it sound more formal.

Desert plants which have spiky leaves or wax coatings are a real turn off for desert animals.

Snakes survive the heat of the day by burrowing or chilling out in the shade of rocks.

A deep root system, like on the acacia plant, helps the plant get heaps of water.

The seeds of ephemerals have really chunky coverings that protects them from drying out.

Cacti have thick cell walls to stop the cells getting all shrivelled up.

Because the air is mega dry in deserts, plants can lose massive amounts of water.

Some desert animals become real slugs, doing nothing or bludging, during the hot part of the day.

Kangaroo rats make sure they don’t lose too much water by doing hard poos.

Don’t use contractions

Contractions are used in spoken language but should not be used in essays. They make your writing sound too conversational.

Activity

Complete the following table of contractions:

Contraction / Expanded form / Expanded form / Contraction
hasn’t / I have
wouldn’t / we will
did not / they ‘re
we are / it will
they will / won’t
could’ve / shouldn’t
should’ve / there are
might have / isn’t
he is / couldn’t
can’t / are not

Activity

Summary

Circle the contractions, 1st and 2nd person pronouns and conversational words in the sentences below and then rewrite the sentence to make it more formal.

1. Deserts aren’t necessarily hot. They’re found where precipitation is low and evaporation is super high.

2. We call the spread of deserts, desertification.

3. There’s heaps of evidence to show that deserts aren’t shrinking.

4. Deserts aren’t just found anywhere. They’re located in the interior of continents or on their west coasts.

5. You don’t find cacti in all deserts; you’ll get them in the deserts of North America but.

6. Even though we get date palms here in Australia, they’re really typical of African and Middle Eastern deserts. There’s heaps of them there.

7. You could argue that desertification is the result of natural causes.

8. In my mind but, desertification is because of what we humans are doing to the planet.

Oh, and one more thing…don’t exaggerate!

9. People all over the world are arguing about the cause of desertification.

10. Conditions in deserts are so hard they’re uninhabitable by life.

11. If desertification continues, it will be catastrophic for everyone.

Punctuation Counts ! (it makes your essay easier to read and understand)

Geography uses a lot of proper nouns. Proper nouns require capital letters. Common nouns only require capital letters when they are the first word of a sentence.

Activity

Complete the following table of proper and common nouns and include the capitals where necessary:

Common noun / Proper noun
Kalahari
Nile
Atacama
country
Kara Kum
volcano
North America
Sahel
nomads
Sonoran
Man-Made River Project
Mojave
sea
The Los Angeles Times
Gobi

Activity capitals, commas and full stops

Add the missing capital letters (12), commas (3) and full stops (6) to the following paragraph.

in the sahara there is very little water for plants animals or humans some plants are able to make use of rainwater that filters through the sand or collects briefly on the rocky surfaces humans however can only find permanent water supplies in rivers or underground water bearing rocks the only major rivers are the niger and the nile the nile river dominates the northeastern part of the sahara for thousands of years it has provided irrigation water for agriculture

See how hard it is to understand a piece of writing when the punctuation is poor? Be kind to your essay markers!

Activity it’s and its

it’s = it is

its = possessive pronoun

Use the correct form of its or it’s in the sentences below:

1. All major deserts are located in the interior of a continent or on ……… west coast.

2. The cactus is a well known symbol of the desert, but ……… only found in North American deserts.

3. Despite being covered in a thick layer of frozen water, ………very dry in Antarctica.

4. Air near the Earth’s equator rises into the atmosphere because ……… hot.

5. The Sahara’s main water source is found in...... aquifers.

Activity Apostrophes of posession

The desert’s annual rainfall.

What owns the rainfall? The desert.

The apostrophe goes after the last letter of your answer and then you add an ‘s’ . If the last letter of your answer is already an ‘s,’ then place the apostrophe as normal but don’t add another ‘s’.

One plant’s leaves. Two plants’ leaves

One mountain’s slope. Two mountains’ slopes.

1. continent + coast ……………………………………………………………………….

2. two continents + coasts ……………………………………………………………………….

3. world + deserts ……………………………………………………………………….

4. Sahara + temperature ……………………………………………………………………….

5. Tuareg + history ……………………………………………………………………….

6. project + completion ………………………………………………………………………..

7. Sudan + topography ………………………………………………………………………..

8. children + lifestyle ………………………………………………………………………..

9. tribe + traditions ………………………………………………………………………..

10. country + water shortage ………………………………………………………………………..

Linking words

Linking words are used between paragraphs and between sentences to help your essay to ‘flow’. They indicate when one point has finished and another has started. They help your reader to make sense of what you’re writing

Exposition / Discussion
One reason why… / Alternatively
Another / However
Also / Conversely
In addition / Although
Firstly / While
Secondly / On the other hand
Thirdly
Lastly
Finally
Furthermore

Linking words in action….

Exposition

Firstly, there is evidence ….

One piece of evidence suggesting humans have caused desertification is…

Another example of how humans have impacted on the expansion of deserts is…

In addition, if humans continue to….

Furthermore, the reduction of rainfall shows that…

Discussion

On the other hand, there is significant ….

Alternatively, natural causes of desertification rule out…

However, it can be argued that humans have had less of an impact….…

Although humans have had some impact on the spread of deserts, the majority……

While humans can be seen to have contributed to desertification, the primary cause is…

Essay Structure

Before you start writing your essay, you need to plan how you are going to present your information.

Two Alternative Scaffolds for a Discussion

Before you start your essay plan....

There is no point starting an essay about what causes desertification, you must be able to define desertification itself. This definition must work its way into the essay regularly to keep the essay relevant.
The Causes of Desertification

If you are going to submit a convincing essay, you must make sure that you can prepare study notes to

help you summarise the information you need to present.

Cause / Human or natural? / Definition
(what does that term mean?) / Specific example
(where has this caused desertification?)
Drought / A prolonged period of below average rainfall. / The Sahel
Climate change / Cliamte change is part of the natural cycle of heating and cooling of the globe. Global warming is where the temperature gradually rises due to human burning of fossil fuels. / Australian deserts will move southwards by 100-200 kms and northwards by 50kms by 2070.
Overgrazing / Where animals graze excessively to the detriment of the vegetation. / In the 1930s the Great Plains of the USA became dustbowls.
Poor irrigation practices / The oversupply of artificial water. (ie water that has not fallen as precipitation) / The Murray Darling Basin in Qld, NSW, VIC and SA
Overpopulation / Excessive population of an area to the point of overcrowding, depletion of natural resources or environmental degradation. / Madagasgar
Cultivation of marginal land / Agricultural production of food by preparing the land to grow crops that is poor in soil quality. / The Sahel
Destruction of vegetation / Removal of vegetation by humans or animals. / Slash and burn by indigenous people have meant 10% of Madagascar has been lost to desertification.

Planning for a discussion