Lemon
Considering that it’s a slang word for a bad car.* It’s surprising how few things in life are so consistently good as…a lemon.
They’re just beautiful fruits.
Well, apparently the companies trying to sell us stuff at the supermarket know how highly people regard lemons because hundreds of companies are trying to associate their products with them.
Take a look at the shelves in any grocery store and you’ll see Brillo Lemon, Ajax Lemon, Joy Lemon, Clorox Lemon Fresh and lemon-smelling nail polish remover.
Here’s Cascade Lemon dishwashing detergent. And look at the ingredients. Nowhere does it mention that there’s any lemon in it. You know why? That’s because there isn’t any lemon in it.
Plastic kitchen bags…garbage bags. Fresh lemon scent, it says. Do you think one of these bags is going to smell like a lemon after a load of garbage sits in it for two days?
Here’s Lemon Jell-O. Now, that seems like a good idea but the truth of the matter is, there’s the same amount of lemon in Lemon Jell-O as there is in Cascade Dishwashing detergent…none at all. It’s artificial lemon flavoring.
It says on the side of the box that they put in something called “Adipic acid and fumaric acid for tartness辛辣.” Why don’t they call it Fumaric Acid Jell-O?
The funny thing is, I bought a one-ounce bottle of fake lemon extract that cost me $2.49. And then I bought a two-ounce bottle of pure lemon extract…twice as much and it cost me only $1.89. The fake was more than twice as expensive as the real lemon. I wonder if Jell-O knows about that?
Lemon Fresh Comet. No lemon, of course…except a picture of one.
Parson’s Lemon Fresh Ammonia? What in the world does lemon have to do with ammonia? Ammonia has its own smell which is just fine for ammonia but no one wants ammonia that smells like lemon.
A lot of things like that are great one place and wrong someplace else.
Gas in the tank of your car, for instance, is fine…on your hands, it’s terrible. Gravy is great on mashed potatoes but it’s ugly on the tablecloth.
That’s the way it is with lemon. It’s great in lemonade, iced tea, cake, cookies, squeezed on fish and in lemon meringue蛋白拌糖打硬後置於餅或蛋糕上pie but lemon in detergent, in nail polish remover or Brillo is gravy on the tablecloth.
From Andy Rooney, Years of Minutes, pp. 312-313.
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* A lemon is a car, often new, that is found to be defective only after it has been bought. Any vehicle with numerous, severe issues can be termed a “lemon,” and, by extension, any product with flaws too great or severe to serve its purpose can be described as a “lemon.”
The use of the word “lemon” to describe a highly flawed item predates its use in describing cars, and can be traced back to the beginning of the 20th century. Julian Koenig used the term to refer to a defective model in Volkswagen's 1950s Think Small advertising campaign.
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