Focus Lesson Planning Sheet

Focus Lesson Topic / Revising By Taking Away
(Adapted from Calkins & Bleichman, 2003)

Materials

/ Story for modeling that includes some new revisions written in a contrasting color that detract from the main point of the story, revision marker

Connection

/ Over the last few days we have been learning how writers revise their stories by adding on. Today I will teach you that writers also revise their stories by taking away.
Explicit Instruction / You can see that I have added more to my story. Notice that my revisions are written in green. Some of my revisions help the story but I am thinking now that some of the ideas that I added to my story don’t really help. Let me read my story aloud. Let’s see which revisions are helpful and which revisions are not helpful.
[Read revised story aloud.]
Hmm…I’m trying to decide if some parts aren’t helpful. So I ask myself, “What is the most important idea in my story? What is my story really about?” I know that I am writing about [insert main idea of story]. So I notice that I added some things that don’t really seem to go with what my story is mainly about. Look at this part here. I don’t think I really need to explain [what I had for breakfast or other irrelevant detail]. What I had for breakfast doesn’t really matter in this story about [main idea.] I will use my purple revision marker to cross out that part because it doesn’t add anything important to my story.
Guided Practice / Do you see other revisions that aren’t about the main idea of my story? Turn and talk to your partner about parts that I should take away.
After a few minutes, invite a few students to share their thinking.
Send Off [for Independent Practice] / I want you to always remember that good writers sometimes revise by taking away. Today during independent writing I want you to spend some time rereading the revisions that you have done over the past few days. Ask yourself, “What is my story really about? Do these revisions help my story?” If you find any revisions that don’t help your story, you can use your revising pen to cross them out.
Group Share / Allow time for a few students to share their revisions, especially students who revised by taking away.