MAN UP EPISODE 2

  • ANGUS’ STORY
  • Suicide is a taboo subject and people do not feel comfortable in talking about it, especially men
  • When the subject comes up people don’t know how to react
  • The effects of suicide on family members can be severe and far reaching.
  • Angus held in so much that it got too much
  • He never talked
  • Never cried
  • Never went to the doctor
  • If people knew of the devastation that suicide has on a family they’ll never contemplate it

The old view of the male being stoic, (endure hardship and pain without showing feelings or complaining) and self-reliant is not serving Australians well. Asking for help is a sign of weakness but there are things out there that can help you if you’re struggling.

  • MATE HELPING MATE – John Harper

In rural/regional Australia men are as twice as likely to commit suicide than those in the city.John runs a group for country blokes who speak the same language. His battle with depression taught him how crucial it is for men to open up before it is too late and the spiral down.Little problems can get bigger if you are not aware of it and human nature is such that we don’t do anything about it until the shit hits the fan.

  • COMMUNICATION
  • Women tell blokes that they are bad at it
  • Tell the person how you feel
  • Men can tell of their problems and not lose their manhood.
  • Talk straight: allow people share their stories and for that to happen there needs to be an environment of safety
  • PRIDE
  • Too much pride in men and they don’t talk but
  • If they are comfortable they will talk.
  • People may live in denial that there’s something wrong.
  • You need to recognize the problem, do something and move on
  • ISOLATION - People are social beings and need one another
  • Rural life can be an isolated life
  • Farms are isolated and technology makes it even more isolated
  • In the cities you can be surrounded by millions of people and feel so lonely
  • ABORIGINAL COMMUNITY
  • Make up 3% of the population here in Australia
  • Has the highest rates of suicide
  • MEN’S NUDE YOGA
  • Experiences the softer side and most vulnerable side of masculinity.
  • To strip away the the many layers of what makes us a ‘man’ we first have to strip off our clothes.
  • We have been taught to be tough, hard and not to cry; now its time to explore our vulnerability.
  • What works for people is different but what is important in men’s mental health.
  • MATES 4 MATES
  • This group is designed to serve the needs of the ex-servicemen who return home from active duty. These men are trained soldiers and have been trained to be ‘tough’. The group offers:
  • Counselling and support services
  • Adventure challenges to build connection and trust
  • Since 1999 more returning soldiers have died through suicide than in war
  • Helps fight the trauma and isolation that comes from active duty
  • Blokes who have trained to be unbreakable are allowed to breakdown and open up
  • Often the men go through what they go through but when they return the ones who are affected are the families.
  • Pressure is placed upon families, they are the in the fornt line
  • As a result families are pushed away and isolation increases.
  • STEVEBIDDULPH– psychologist and author
  • There are topics that men don’t talk about and these are the deep down painful things. Millions of men feel the same when they’re sad
  • Men have to learn to be real and say they’re sad when they’re sad, this is just the hardest thing to do.
  • Four to five men kill themselves each day and suicide is DEATH FROM LONELINESS. It doesn’t affect men but it is the biggest killer of teenage boys.
  • At about 14 boys have about an 800% surge in testerone. The effect in this is to break away from their parents and discover what it means to be a man. Several things that need to be mindful of here are:
  • Boys don’t want to listen to dad but he is still needs to be a safe harbour. Dad needs to remain connected
  • Boys need good male role models/mentors to help guide them
  • The role models need to be older or boys will by default go to there peer group
  • To keep boys safe put more good role models in their lives.
  • TOM HARKIN
  • His workshops are based on:
  • What is a guy and who made up the rules of how men should be like
  • Creating an environment where people can have honest conversations
  • During his workshops Tom has discovered that when hearing their friends aren’t living up to the stereotype they are shocked. We are so good at pretending that others don’t see the real me.
  • Someone somewhere has created the rules, yet somehow they get passed on from generation to generation.

A basic outline of Tom’s workshop is given below. Use this as an activity for your group.

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