Internal assessment resource reference Eng/2/2_B6
PAGE FOR TEACHER USE
2009
Internal Assessment Resource
Subject Reference: English 2.2
Internal assessment resource reference number:
Eng/2/2_B6
Beyond the Text
Supports internal assessment for:
Achievement Standard 90376 v2
Produce crafted and developed formal transactional writing
Credits: 3
Date version published: February 2009
Ministry of Education For use in internal assessment
quality assurance status: from 2009
17
© Crown 2009
Internal assessment resource reference Eng/2/2_B6
PAGE FOR TEACHER USE
Teacher Guidelines:
The following guidelines are supplied to enable teachers to carry out valid and consistent assessment using this internal assessment resource.
Context/setting:
This activity may be used as an extension to the study of a text. Students will develop an essay exploring an issue both within and beyond the text. The ideas in the essay can be developed in a variety of ways. The issue could be explored predominantly outside the text using the text as a springboard, or with a greater focus on the issue as seen within the text.
Conditions:
This activity should be worked on in class under teacher supervision to ensure authenticity. Teachers may guide students through the initial tasks, helping them to make suitable language choices. Teachers may demonstrate how the techniques/language choices used in the samples in the activity can be applied to the students’ own writing.
As students develop their final drafts, teachers can offer appropriate guidance that writing may need further work on ideas, language, structure or accuracy in spelling, punctuation or paragraphing. Teachers may not correct errors, rewrite sentences or suggest specific ideas. Students should have access to dictionaries to check their writing. Word processing is acceptable providing it is done under teacher supervision.
Teachers are directed to Explanatory Notes 10 -12 in the achievement standard.
Resource requirements:
This activity will follow from the study of a text, either chosen by the student or read as a class. Students will need access to that text in order to keep references accurate. Access to other texts and resources which allow students to explore the issue outside the text should also be provided.
Additional information:
None.
17
© Crown 2009
Internal assessment resource reference number Eng/2/2_B6
PAGE FOR STUDENT USE
2009
Internal Assessment Resource
Subject Reference: English 2.2
Internal assessment resource reference number: Eng/2/2_B6
Beyond the Text
Supports internal assessment for:
Achievement Standard 90376 v2
Produce crafted and developed formal transactional writing
Credits: 3
Student Instructions Sheet
You will produce an essay of at least 500 words which explores an issue.
You will be assessed on:
· how well you develop your ideas about the issue within and beyond the text
· your ability to use a writing style that is appropriate for an essay
· how well you structure your writing with a introduction, body and conclusion
· your accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Introduction
Texts sometimes challenge us to think more widely about the impact issues have on us or the world we live in. Students examining a range of texts linked by a ‘war stories’ theme might be challenged to go beyond the texts studied in class and explore what forces define who New Zealanders are today, given that world wars have helped define our national identity in the past.
You will take an issue raised in one or more texts you have studied in class and explore the issue beyond the text in an essay. As you develop your writing about an issue, you will guided through the process by a sample based on a ‘war stories’ theme. Your essay will be at least 500 words long. Your readers are your teacher and other students.
Task 1 Focusing on the issues in the text
a) As a class, list on the board several possible issues raised in one or more texts studied. Express the issues as questions. Which of these issues hold some relevance for you and can be explored in a modern day setting? To help you with this stage, a sample based on the ‘war stories’ theme is included.
eg ISSUES RAISED:
b) Find some short specific details from the text(s) you have studied which are linked to these issues. You will use these details as part of your essay when you write about how the issue you choose is seen in the text.
Task 2 Taking an issue beyond the text
Choose an issue from task 1 which has relevance for you. Plan three main points you could make about the issue where you discuss the issue beyond the text and make links to the world we live in.
Task 3 Taking a position - writing an introduction
Topic:
What should teenagers learn from the sacrifices of earlier generations?
a) You could begin your essay by:
b) Read the introductions to the three exemplars on pages 9, 10 and 12 to see other ways of introducing an essay.
Draft an introduction.
Task 4 Developing a structure – taking the issue beyond the text
a) After your introduction, develop three main points where you write about the issue beyond the text. You can also refer back to the text as you develop your ideas. Each paragraph should have an S/E+C structure:
b) Other paragraphs follow the same S/E+C structure. Identify the statement then examples and comments in each of these two paragraphs.
c) Draft paragraphs for the three main points you will make in the body of your essay using the S/E+C structure.
d) Draft a conclusion which re-emphasises your central opinion of the issue.
Before you develop your essay draft to its finished state, read the exemplars on pages 9 to 15. Talk about the strengths and areas they could be improved. You may not use any of this material in your own essay.
e) Your finished essay will be at least 500 words long. It will:
· develop ideas about your issue both within and beyond the text. The ideas in the essay can be developed in a variety of ways. The issue could be explored predominantly outside the text using the text as a springboard, or with a greater focus on the issue as seen within the text.
· use language appropriate for a readership of students and your teacher
· have an introduction, body and conclusion. Each main point will use an S/E + C structure as shown in Task 4 (a).
· use writing conventions accurately (spelling, punctuation, grammar, syntax, paragraphing).
Exemplar A: Excellence
What should teenagers learn from the sacrifices of earlier generations?
What matters to some teenagers today? This stereo, those clothes, that car, where’s the party? What about, “Should I go and fight for my country?” To many teenagers in 1914 going to war was an exciting prospect. It mattered, just like the clothes and the car matter in 2002. Would today’s young New Zealanders react in the same way if they were suddenly faced the prospect of sacrificing their lives for their country? Not likely. We should learn from the sacrifices of earlier generations. Anzac Day is not a feeble excuse for a public holiday. It is a time for teenagers to acknowledge some important lessons about what really matters.
We lose a sense of who we as a nation if we let popular modern day events obscure Anzac Day’s significance. Wins in major sports like rugby against other countries are often presented by the media as our defining moments. Many young New Zealanders seem to regard sporting success as all that matters to us as a nation. We need to see past the superficial glamorised way the media presents these victories as great national moments and their sports stars as heroes. Anzac Day is one public occasion in the year when New Zealand recognises its ordinary heroes, those who put their lives on the line for their country. We should also acknowledge those who honour their whakapapa and remember their ancestors’ deeds in individual ways too. In the documentary The Last of the Anzacs Joe Pere placed soil he collected from Gallipoli where his grandfather fought and died at his mother’s grave to bring his spirit or wairua home. This kind of personal tribute is just as important as public Anzac Day ceremonies in recognising what our ancestors have done for us. It should hold greater significance for us than some media hyped sports result.
The disaster at Gallipoli also should also teach teenagers that knowledge and understanding are more powerful weapons than fighting. At the end of The Last of the Anzacs: 102 year old Anzac veteran Doug Dibley revealed a simple yet powerful insight: “I’ve learned something I’ll never forget the rest of my life – how fruitless war is.” We should take notice of a man who had seen the horrors of war nearly 90 years ago. War is no game. The Anzacs had no idea of the brutal horror which lay ahead of them, the nightmare, the great misadventure. As teenagers they had hardly lived a quarter of their lives. Someone’s child who had finished school and just started work was now charging uphill to certain death into machine gun fire at Chunik Bair. Perhaps if they had received some kind of insight into what war was about then they would have had second thoughts about going. Today we expect instant access to information in a way which was unimaginable in 1914. Imagine a teenager about to go to fight for king and country logging on to www.gallipoli.com, seeing how awful it was and saying no thanks!
There is little difference between teenage attitudes in 1914 and 2002. Young people often seek adventure and excitement. Listening to the stories of Les Leach and Doug Dibley in The Last of the Anzacs I found myself relating to their attitudes. In 1914 many young people saw war as an opportunity to take part in ‘the great adventure.’ It was revealed that Les Leach lied about his age in order to enlist. He was not alone. Many of those teenagers were scared when they joined up not of the risk to life and limb, but unbelievably that “it would be all over before we got there!” I appreciated how a generation of young men were scarred for life by what they thought would be a “lark”. Their values, their perspectives on life were changed for ever. I realised how lucky I am in that it is highly unlikely I will face anything resembling their awful wartime experiences. Some of my generation’s obsessions with superficial material things like cars, clothes and stereos seems trivial when compared to the emotional trauma the Anzacs had to deal with.
The fact that many people of all ages turn out at dawn on April 25 shows that New Zealanders still value Anzac Day and those who fought for their country. It is vital that teenagers appreciate their sacrifices in order to learn what is best for our country in the future. Lest we forget the saying “those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.”
Exemplar B: Merit
Is there any truth in fiction?
Is there any truth in fiction? We known Peter Weir’s film the The Truman Show is purely fictional and the people just characters, but there are alarmingly similar parallels between Truman’s naivety and that of a nation being watched and monitored without knowledge and consent.
The Truman Show challenges us to consider the authenticity of our own lives, and take a look into our world today. It shows us a vision of a TV-made man, the unwitting star of a life manufactured for perpetual broadcast. Truman lives a life with actors as friends, sets for each “scene” of his life, and cameras watching his every move. Contemplating The Truman Show I was left wondering, is this concept really that paranoid or that far from reality? How far is it from our reality here in New Zealand?
Surveillance is everywhere in New Zealand. For example, Christchurch is said to have more surveillance than anywhere else in the Southern Hemisphere. But where are the cameras and what is their purpose? Perhaps as a nation we should be considering whether or not this is really necessary. Should we be so accepting of such an invasion of our privacy? A large department store recently installed cameras in a women’s lingerie department. The reason for this was that many items of clothing were going missing. While the purpose of surveillance is easy to understand, we must challenge it from another perspective. It is wrong to invade one’s privacy without their prior knowledge. How can we justify this?
Another point to consider is do the cameras that surround us really provide security and protection? In the Truman Show, Christoph is like an over-protective father figure who can also be likened to God. He created a world for his ‘son’ and had total control over that world. In a rather warped sense he ‘protected’ Truman. Truman would be kept away from all danger in his world and no harm could come to him. We trust the surveillance in our country to give us protection much like Truman trusted his world to be reality. We allow ourselves to be watched and monitored in the fake belief that this will keep us safe. But at what expense do we allow this to happen? Do we really want such intrusion into our privacy? There have recently been a number of shows on television that peer into people’s lives twenty-four hours a day like Big Brother. The difference between these shows and real life, though, is that these people choose to put themselves in these situations. Perhaps such people are just so desperate for fame, fortune, or simply just a little attention. However, we do have a choice.