Synthesis Essay: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The Good.
- Almost everyone used at least three sources.
- Very few people wrote long, fluffy introductions
- Most people did some useful prewriting, and could identify
reliable sources
The Bad. And, yeah, some of this was pretty UGLY.
- A frightening number of people didn’t ever take a position. They tried to sit directly on the fence (ouch!). Remember the thesis statements that we looked at for the penny essay? Remember that one you all said was the worst one, where it just stated that there were both pros and cons to abolishing the penny? Well, a lot of you wrote basically the same thing. So many arguments boiled down to “advertising has both good and bad effects.” That is not a position. Your thesis should be arguable, not a statement that every rational person would agree with!
- Some of you had the opposite problem. You took an extreme position, and argued your way into a corner that you couldn’t get out of. If you find yourself arguing for illogical or impossible solutions (like doing away with advertising entirely, or only allowing “good” ads to be published), you are in serious trouble, and you need to go back and qualify somehow.
- Pssst…point of clarification: “qualifying” doesn’t mean sitting on the fence. Qualifying, which will get you a high score if done well, means that you take a pro or con position, but then soften and complicate it by conceding some things, or by limiting the scope or your argument, etc.
- You must makeyourpositionclearINTHETHESIS! That means at the beginning of the paper. Not, ahem, in the conclusion. Some people wrote their way into a thesis by the end. If you look back and see that your argument is more clearly stated at the end than in the intro, for the love of all things green and good, move the concluding statement to the intro! That’s a quick, easy fix that can change a 4 essay to a passing paper.
- Be specific! Generalizations are not convincing. You need specific examples in order to make your case.
- Quotations do not speak for themselves. Don’t just drop a quotation into your paragraph and think that you have proved your point. Some people’s body paragraphs were just strings of quotes. You must analyze your evidence. Don’t just drop it in and run off to the next point.
- Don’t spend more time on the counterargument than on your own argument! You end up making a more convincing case for the opposition! For some of you, this was a time management issue. Be careful, and pace yourself.
- Don’t make some sweeping, extreme statement in your conclusion. Some of you were trying for some epic sum up and ended up undercutting your argument, or weakening it substantially. Better to have NO conclusion than one that weakens your argument.
- Many of you ended up with very limited essays that relied too heavily on the sources. Higher scoring papers will show evidence not just of higher level analysis, but of independent thinking. In the synthesis essay, that means the ability to bring in outside information that supports your case. It means going beyond the positions taken by the sources. It means actually synthesizing information into a new argument instead of regurgitating or repackaging the information you’ve been given.
- Don’t oversimplify. A lot of this went on in various forms. The world, and perhaps especially advertising, is not black and white. Trying to make it so for your convenience in arguing a position only makes you look naïve and your argument unsound.
- And please don’t begin with the most boring intro ever. I can’t tell you how many papers began with “Advertising is all around us, on billboards, on television, even on the sides of school busses! We are bombarded with hundreds of ads everyday.” You are not being witty or original, and you are not helping your paper. Your AP reader will immediately dislike you, because trust me, he or she will have read that opening 2,896 times already. Yours might just push him over the edge into true madness. Do you want to be responsible for some poor, overworked college professor’s mental breakdown? No? Then please stop writing introductions like that!
- Be careful that you do not misquote or misinterpret sources, and that you do not rely on the unreliable ones!
Just for reference, here is an excerpt of a high-scoring paper from this round of synthesis essays. While not perfect, this essay demonstrates a level of independent thinking and analysis that should give you something to shoot for. Note that the writer does not make the typical mistake of oversimplifying ads into “good” and “bad.” [Typed just as written.]
In a world full of consumers, advertising is something that companies producing products and services heavily utilize in order to sell what they are offering. Like almost everything else, advertising can be used in different ways, to promote the good, to persuade, or even to manipulate. Despite having negative aspects to it, advertising is something that is necessary in our world.
Is advertising good? Is it something that is used to manipulate the minds of weak-willed consumers? The answers to these questions vary significantly, depending on the product and the consumer. Source A displays an example of how advertising can be used in a positive way. In this case the advertisement is used to help others, and to promote a cause. The ad’s heavy reliance on pathos is clear as it promotes a sense of duty and togetherness, “When we come together, we become part of something bigger than us all” (Source A). Someone could potentially argue that this is still manipulation. By playing off our emotions and envoking in us a sense of responsibility the Red Cross hopes to have us donate blood. So the question is, is manipulation of a consumer ok, as long as it is put towards a good cause? An example of consumer manipulation that is often looked down upon is the advertising of cigarettes. In source B it is said that “[advertising] in addition to directly increasing primary demand for cigarettes, advertising could be highly effective in developing selective demand for individual demands.” This was written in 2003 and perhaps because of consumer and parental backlash of tobacco products being advertised on TV we see less, and less ads for cigarettes on television programs. But perhaps you see an advertisement of a dashing, mysterious dark man, smoking a cigarette while wearing an immaculate tailored suit. Do you not consider the possibility that you could be as dashing as he if you took steps to be like him? Is this not similar to the Red Cross ad, playing off of your emotions, in this case your desire to fit in, to have stature? Though they certainly have different desired effects and results, they could both be classified as attempts at consumer manipulation.