Essay Assignment: “The Three Little Pigs: The Wolf’s Story” Ned Jensen (abridged)
This assignment is composed of several parts:
- Using the rubric, evaluate the essay The 3Lil’ Pigz; check boxes on the rubric and provide a mark out of 20.
- On a separate piece of paper, please list the categories on the rubric which are listed – conventions, word choice, sentence fluency, voice, organization, and content – and provide notes on areas of strength or weakness that justify your answers; these can be in bullet form.
- Using the essay outline, prep for rewriting the essay.
- Rewrite the essay – not your own – making corrections that you believe will move the essay up the scale. You must use the essay provided as your basis.
- You must provide an estimated mark for your rewritten essay with a rationale.
The assignment will be evaluated as follows:
- Does your evaluation make sense in reference to content and the notes made? (10)
- Is your outline complete and does it make sense? (5)
- Your essay will be marked according to the rubric. (20)
The 3 Lil’ Pigz
Selfish people tend to do selfish things. Take the three little pigs for example, there was a very ill wolf living in the woods near their village. Without a dime to his name, or a single drop of energy to hunt for food he walked to the village where the three little pigs lived. All he wants was a place to stay for a couple days and something to eat just to get himself back on his feet, but no, the three little pigs were too selfish to even stop and think of anyone but themselves for just a minute, and help the ill wolf out. Instead of doing the right thing, like listening to what the wolf had to say instead of running off to their brother’s houses, to play a card game at that, even forgetting to call the authorities. What’s the worst that could have happened to them?
If someone who was very ill was knocking on your door asking for a day or two of shelter and food to pull themself together just to survive you would probably let them in, right? Well there were these three lucky little pigs who had inherited a lump sum of cash, enough to build individual houses for each of them actually, were just too selfish to help someone in need out. They could have easily at least let him come in to warm up, but they were caught up in their own world and couldn’t come off it for even a minute to listen to what the wolf had to say.
If you’re scared enough to run out of your house because a wolf was knocking at your door the first thing on your mind should be to call the authorities. This situation easily could have been handled by the police because unlike the pigs, they would stop and listen to what the wolf had to say. Although the wolf is big and scary, he was having problems, and was on the verge of death, and nobody deserves to die alone, or even die at that. Because of the pigs selfish acts, the wolf passed.
The wolf didn’t mean to scare the pigs, and he definitely didn’t mean to blow there houses down, he was actually polite. The pigs all jumped to conclusions and ran off. There was obviously something wrong with the wolf if he was sneezing hard enough to blow their houses down. The pigs couldn’t look past his scary looks for just a second, they were just too scared and selfish.
Selfish people tend to do selfish things. Just because you don’t like the way someone looks, or acts doesn’t mean they are not a good person, if they have something to say to you, take a second and stop and listen to what they have to say. It could be important, how would you feel if you found out you were the reason for someone’s death ?
“The Three Little Pigs: The Wolf’s Story” – Ned Jensen (abridged)
Once upon a time in a quiet country village, there lived three little pigs. They were the luckiest swine in the country. They had just inherited enough money from their grandfather to build three new houses.
The first little pig wanted a warm and cozy house that would help him to relax. He built his house out of straw, the warmest and most familiar material he knew. The second little pig loved to shock the neighbours, so he picked sticks for materials and built a modern house. The third little pig, who planned for any imagined disaster, built a sturdy house of bricks and mortar.
Not far off in the cold, damp forest lived a poor, old wolf. He lived in a rotten, hollow log and searched the forest for whatever food he could find. He had no money – not a single cent—to build a house or plant a garden. Unlike most wolves, he was a vegetarian.
When winter arrived, it was extremely bitter and harsh. The wolf ate so little that he became weak and caught a terrible cold. Soon he was constantly sniffling and sneezing. He sneezed so hard that he blew dried leaves off the forest’s trees.
The sickly wolf left the forest in search of food and shelter. He sniffled and sneezed as he traveled down the road. With each sneeze, the snow whirled into a white cloud around his frostbitten ears.
After walking for several hours, the old wolf came upon the quaint village where the three pigs lived. Being so very cold and so very hungry, he hurried to the nearest house as fast as his stiff body could carry him.
He knocked on the straw door. He hoped that whoever lived there would take pity on him and let him come inside.
Before the timid little pig could reach the door, the wolf began to sneeze and sneeze. To the wolf’s surprise, he sneezed so hard that he blew the straw house apart. The frightened little pig thought the wolf wanted to eat him, so he hurried off to his brother’s house.
In a trembling voice, the pig warned his brother about the wolf who had blown down his house. They quickly locked the door and hid under a bed.
The wolf followed the pig to the stick house, desperate after destroying his first chance at food and shelter.
“Please, oh please, give me something to eat and a warm place to rest,” he pleaded.
The two pigs remained hidden under the bed, fearing for their lives. Once again the old wolf began to sneeze and sneeze. His sneezing shook the house of sticks. Three more sneezes and the house fell down. The two panicked pigs ran off over the hill to their brother’s house of bricks.
Their brother was sure the wolf couldn’t destroy his house. To be on the safe side, the pigs locked the doors and windows and hid in the safest room.
When the two brothers had calmed down a bit, the three pigs sat down to a game of cards. The wolf again came begging for food and shelter. He was delirious. The weather and illness had sapped his strength.
One last time, the wolf began to sneeze and sneeze. The brick house stood strong, but the wolf teetered until a final sneeze made him collapse in the drifting snow.
The wolf lay there drifting in and out of consciousness. He could hear faint laughter from inside the house and smell the mouth-watering aroma of freshly brewed coffee; it was these sounds and scents that carried him to oblivion, one hour after the pigs had decided to play cards.
By the time the pigs remembered to call the authorities, it was too late for the paramedics to do anything. If they had called for help instead of playing cards, or even just looked out their window and realized that their “attacker” was physically ill, the old stranger could have been helped; the eldest pig, however, simply started the coffee.
Essay Topic: The three little pigs are extremely selfish.
*Please provide quotes to support your subtopics (3 per paragraph) and submit in proper MLA format.
SJHS English Department: Official Writing RubricName: Title: Total:
EXCELLENT: 6 18-20/20 27-30/30Content: insightful ideas; stays on topic
Content: examples and supporting evidence on topic, important to topic and detailed and are presented using a variety of techniques
Organization: compelling introduction with complete, clear, detailed thesis statement and, where applicable, identification of title, author and subject matter
Organization: purposeful selection of transitions & placement of ideas
Organization: body paragraphs deal with 1 main idea & have a proper transition, topic sentence and concluding sentence smoothly included
Organization: confident conclusion that demonstrates thought and analysis
Voice: clear, individual style excellently suited to the intended audience
Wordchoice: precise and sophisticated; colourful language
Sentencefluency: effective use of a variety of sentence structures including simple, compound and complex
Sentencefluency: most effectively uses internal punctuation (i.e. colon, semi-colon, dash)
Conventions: hardly any errors in punctuation, capitalization, spelling, grammar, choice of words
Conventions: shows mastery of MLA guidelines and citations / MARGINAL: 3 10-12/20 15-18/30
Content: topic may need to be clearer (have a clear direction)
Content: needs more detail; must be specific without repeating
Organization: needs greater control of organization (no lists or back-tracking)
Organization: no clear introduction or conclusion
Organization: paragraphing is evident, but needs development – topic/support and closing sentences
Voice: style does not always suit intended audience; needs formality
Wordchoice: wording needs to be more specific and/or creative
Sentencefluency: sentence structure needs work –some fragments and/or run-un sentences present
Conventions: fix flaws that take away from the message-errors in spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar
Conventions: does not follow MLA guidelines
VERY GOOD: 5 15-17.5/20 22.5-26.5/30
Content: has good ideas and stays on topic
Content: examples and supporting evidence on topic and detailed; presented using a variety of techniques
Organization: introduction has complete, clear, detailed thesis statement and, where applicable, identifies title, author and subject matter
Organization: effective use of transitions and placement of ideas
Organization: body paragraphs deal with 1 main idea and have a proper transition, topic sentence and concluding sentence
Organization: conclusion on topic and attempts to go beyond mere summary
Voice: clear style suited to the intended audience
Wordchoice: appropriate and clear
Sentencefluency: sentences clear and correct
Conventions: a few errors in punctuation, capitalization, spelling, grammar, choice of words
Conventions: follows guidelines for MLA formatting and citation / WEAK: 2 6-9/20 9-14/30
Content: hints at a purpose, topic needs to be clear and focused
Content: more details are needed. Details (examples and reasons) should be clearly related thesis
Organization: needs more organization and control of material
Wordchoice: word choice very basic and repetitive; needs variety
Sentencefluency: errors in sentence structure make understanding difficult—run-on sentences and fragments must be fixed
Conventions: flaws – spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, etc.--distract from meaning
GOOD: 4 12.5-14.5/20 18.5-22/30
Content: all ideas on topic
Content: examples & supporting evidence usually on topic with some detail
Organization: introduction has a thesis statement and, where applicable, identifies title, author and subject matter
Organization: appropriate transitions to link ideas
Organization: body paragraphs mostly on topic with topic and concluding sentences
Organization: conclusion on topic, but merely a summary
Voice: style mostly suited to the intended audience; informal at times
Wordchoice: clear, but imprecise at times
Sentencefluency: sentences usually clear and correct
Conventions: some errors in punctuation, capitalization, spelling, grammar, choice of words but not serious enough to interfere with the meaning
Conventions: observes guidelines for MLA formatting and citation / POOR: 1 1-5/20 1-8/30
Content: purpose needed – state the topic
Content: add detail- examples, reasoning
Content: check length and be sure it is convincing
Organization: organization and control of material is needed
Organization: paragraphing needed
Wordchoice: basic words repeated; needs variety
SentenceFluency: : errors in sentence structure make understanding extremely difficult—far too many run-on sentences and fragments
Conventions: contains flaws in spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and grammar that prevent readers from understanding
Essay OutlineName:
Title of EssayIntroduction
Hook
Title of Work
Author of Work
Thesis Statement
Subtopic 1
Subtopic 2
Subtopic 3
Body Paragraph 1
Subtopic 13 Quotes: / Pages:
How does this support your subtopic (and ultimately your thesis)?
What does it prove?
(wrap-around info)
Transition Sentence:
5-7 sentences
A mixture of sentence types
Examples connected to topic
Formal language
Appropriate voice
Varied word choice / Slang check
Contraction check
Sentence fragment/run on sentence check
Tense check
Typo check
3 Quotes
Body Paragraph 2
Subtopic 23 Quotes: / Pages:
How does this support your subtopic (and ultimately your thesis)?
What does it prove?
(wrap-around info)
Transition Sentence:
5-7 sentences
A mixture of sentence types
Examples connected to topic
Formal language
Appropriate voice
Varied word choice / Slang check
Contraction check
Sentence fragment/run on sentence check
Tense check
Typo check
3 quotes
Body Paragraph 3
Subtopic 3Quotes: / Pages:
How does this support your subtopic (and ultimately your thesis)?
What does it prove?
(wrap-around info)
5-7 sentences
A mixture of sentence types
Examples connected to topic
Formal language
Appropriate voice
Varied word choice / Slang check
Contraction check
Sentence fragment/run on sentence check
Tense check
Typo check
3 quotes
Conclusion
Title of BookAuthor of Book
Thesis Statement
Subtopic 1
Subtopic 2
Subtopic 3
Closing Statement