THE FAT CAT HASH TRASH Volume 1793

NEXT RUN

RUN DATE HARE WHERE

1794 2-Feb-15 Frizzy Lizzy Car park, Bizant St, Amaroo

PAST RUNS FOR CAPITAL

RUN DATE HARE WHERE

1793 26-Jan-15 Pop Tart Kingsmill St, Kambah

Grand Master: Queen Latrine

Acting Religious Adviser: Hidden Flagon

Run Report

How splendid that Capital Hash this week coincided with Straya Day celebrations! Of course, for every patriotic Aussie, it’s traditionally a day to have a piss-up, a Bbq, maybe get into a bit of a punch up…and generally show a healthy disrespect for authority. Much like any other day come to think of it…

In the spirit of Straya Day, hashers draped themselves in Strayan flags, Akubra hats, clutched Strayan beers, or wore the green & gold get-up for the run… Except for Betty Boop and McTaf, who seemed geographically confused - thought they were in Mexico - so wore sombreros and ponchos (although to be fair, they could’ve just been dressed as Victorians)

So…off we shuffled… And very soon left behind the leafy streets of Kambah and went bush. There was a moment of quiet panic as we realized the trail was leading us up a steep bloody mountain… Hashers began frowning darkly and muttering profanities as they climbed through fences, got tangled in barbed wire, got lost in prickles and long grass, fell down holes, tripped over boulders, and quickly found new and creative ways of injuring themselves. This section of the trail had Dangles (not Pop Tart) written all over it! Most of us began feeling extremely uncharitable towards him…and someone declared that if they ever grew an anal polyp, they knew who to name it after…

Meanwhile, hashers stared at Squatter with undisguised suspicion as he stumbled towards some unsuspecting kangaroos… Clearly he was on a mission to use Austrayan wildlife (again) for indecent and immoral purposes. Squatter obviously hadn’t read Leviticus 20:15…”And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death”… Or else he just didn’t care.

The drink stop came into view just in time… We’d had about enough of our wild outing, and were ready for some alcoholic refreshments.

Back in the circle…the usual buffoonery unfolded…

Run Report: (see above load of bollocks) Score: 12/10

Walk Report: Fag End had some colourful words to describe the walkers’ trail (but unfortunately I can’t for the life of me decipher his fucking notes). He did start with some unflattering words about Kambah, calling it the arse-hole of the earth (I thought that title was reserved for Queanbey-hole)… He was less than impressed about climbing up and down some very unnecessary hills… And was disgusted that walkers were stupid beyond words and followed Mixo and JR on a trail that led no-where… Like the runners, he was jubilant when the drink stop came into view. Score 7/10

Other stuff worth mentioning:

Visitor – Just Peter – Premature Ejaculation made him cum

Returnees – Frizzy Lizzy, Premature Ejaculation, Queen Latrine, Incider, McTaf, Blue Hawaii

Charges

Betty Boop & McTaf – wearing matching Mexican costumes on Straya Day

Rambo & Date Diver – concrete abuse (the concrete came up and hit them apparently)

Weatherman – technology on Hash

Scarlet – dodgy acting RA recently

Mighty – missing ping-pong ball found (she was one ping pong ball down after attending her Adult Party Tricks using Ping Pong Balls class last week)

Squatter – bestiality with kangaroo (not consensual, according to the kangaroo)… Squatter has ‘form’ already with Australian wildlife

Incider & Mighty – ‘persons of interest’…There’s been a recent crime wave in Kambah…and they both wore black…probably had balaclavas tucked away somewhere for their late night looting, pillaging, and plundering rampage

Betty Boop, McTaf, Crying Dick, Weatherman, Premature Ejaculation – wrong hats in circle

QL – completed Pennine Way 7 day marathon in under 168 hours, but blamed Incider (her ‘fixer’) for not fixing her credits and debits during the marathon

Rambo – given new Straya Day headband to match his Straya Day shorts

Awards

FRB – Hidden Flagon – fucking up trail markings by erasing wrong arrows

Little Prick – Date Diver – for embracing Straya Day with gusto (over the top Straya Day get up)

Spit the Dummy – Dangles, for taking over Pop Tart’s run and taking hashers up a mountain

Other awards – no show

Anniversaries

Party Pie – 200 runs

Suellen – 889 runs

Jokes – Rambo

Announcements:

Hares required Please contact Meat (Hash Trailmaster)

Update on D2HD: will hopefully be strong enough to fly back to Canberra very soon where he’ll continue his rehabilitation

WACT run this Wednesday – Babbling is hare – meet at Civic Pub

Rutherglen Bike Hash will be on March 21 2015 (keep date free)

June long weekend – Has Caravan and Camping weekend planned – contact Babbling in you’re interested

Capital Hash Haberdashery for purchase – chat with Peeping Pervert or Party Pie

Check out the RA’s Hash song sheet and sing along to some ribald hash songs! Is there any other kind?

Mighty has been ‘voluntold’ to organise the 2015 Bike Wine tour (March 21 2015)…Anybody interested in being on a Hash sub-committee for this event, contact Mighty at