Bart’s Memorial: Words From Those Who Knew Him
Daniel Bartley McLaughlin Jr.
3/14/49 to 9/8/98
When I was asked to put together a memorial for Bart, it opened memories that brought tears and smiles. Joy and sorrow: one sits at your table, the other sleeps in your bed. Rather than trying to immortalize Bart I found myself asking what would Bart want. It became clear that he would have wanted to help others to live their lives in a meaningful way. So I share words written by classmates and friends about a man who loved me more in his brief life than most people know in a lifetime. I am a lucky woman.
When I think of Bart, I smile and remember his kindness, warmth and humor. (Teresa Nacrelli)
Few people, in the way they live their lives, have the ability to spark such human feeling. Bart had a special gift and used it well. (Peach Messikomer)
The marks we have are many
Both subtle and defined;
Footprints left upon the sand
Impressions on one’s mind
A gentle pat upon the back
A slap on the behind
A kind word to a crying child
Should not be hard to find
A letter to a long lost friend
Anger checked in time
A word that’s better left unsaid
A sudden change of mind
It’s difficult in life sometimes
To pass the tasks we face
But the marks we leave on those we touch
Can never be erased.
(Bernie Moran)
And reminiscences from the friends of our son Dan (5/24/70 to 7/15/90) who never stopped coming over:
I wouldn’t be who I am without you and your countless bits of wisdom that you always had the time to share with me. I love you and you will always be my hero. With love and loads of happy memories. (Mark Eckard: Strathhaven class of 1990)
The following poem is by Nate House (Strathhaven class of 1989). He was one of Dan’s best friends and is now a writer and teacher of writing.
Take us forward
Turn us unwillingly into men
The kind who surround you
And listen hopelessly to stories
That would be true
Only if they came from you
Save my guilty self
With a story of someone worse
Give me a job
When my only qualification
Is that I know how to talk to you
And we can argue all night
Discover nothing at all
And call that night a success
I can tell you things
I’ve never said before
And you would say I’m crazy
But interesting to have around
And to those of you who know
You know what we took
So when I once turned to you
I now turn to myself
And search for pieces of you.
Lastly, I close with some words from Bart’s brother-in-law Tom Peacock.
Who’s going to tell the great jokes? Who’s going to be the life of the party? Bart’s the only person I know who could combine warmth and sarcasm. God surely sent Bartley here to brighten our lives - and he did, and he always will. I love you man!
The legacy continues as Bart has a namesake. His grandson, Daniel, was born to Spencer McLaughlin and Katie Donaghy on October 13th, 2005.
Thank you for asking me to do this. I look forward to seeing you all in May.
Suzie Philips McLaughlin