Seattle Phone Seminar # 5

Date: February 22, 2012

START RECORDING!

If you have trouble getting on the call try Ben at 617-777-4938

The Bridge line number is 916.233.0499

Pin number is 35 994#

Check-In & GoToMeeting set-up

1 / Ria
2 / Saima
3 / Susan
4 / Ruth
5 / Lindy
6 / Robbin
7
8
9

Distractions & Leaving


Orientation

  • Schedule: Around the Grid, Agenda Requests, Use Reports, Dialogue
  • Time frame – review at 8:30 (11:30) end at 9:45 (12:45)

Guidelines & Etiquette Review

  • Say your name first
  • One person talking at a time
  • Don’t use the “hold” button
  • Tools: Grid, definitions, computer
  • Minimize distractions: background noise, cell phone, eating

Round Robin: Around the Grid

Topic: Global Warming

1 / Ria
2 / Saima
3 / Susan
4 / Ruth
5 / Lindy
6 / Robbin
7 / Ria
8 / Saima
9 / Susan
1 / Ruth
2 / Kyla
3 / Robbin
4 / Lindy

SAVI Use Reports

  • Susan: Wished she had used SAVI more. Meeting with a few other therapists; became panic-y because of attacks. “It feels like you are the only one in this group that communicates with abruptness/in your face communication. The rest of us are getting along well. I don’t like this kind of direct communication.” Responded, but others felt like she was interrupting. “When we talk about finances, everyone should be here.” “I think it’s up to everyone if they want to be there or not.”
  • Strategy: paraphrase or mirror; ask for example; ask people individually if this behavior is true
  • Ruth: Wished she had used SAVI to speak to daughter in a nicer way. Emotions got in the way of being reasonable, listening. Didn’t give daughter the opportunity to speak up. “You should have me as a priority and not someone else. I wish you had my back like I always have your back and I hope he is worth it.”
  • Kyla: Wishes she would have handled something differently. Daughter upset on purchase of cranberry juice. Said “It looked good and it’s free for you.” Wishes she would have said “Sorry, next time I will try to remember to get regular cranberry juice.”
  • Lindy: Had a “reasonable” argument. Spoke logically but with an angry tone. Topic of cutting onions and cooking them. “You don’t have to be in the kitchen. Why are you standing right next to me if it bothers you so much?” “I don’t think I’m going to engage with you right now.”
  • Ria: Tried to use SAVI with mother-in-law. Mostly silence now. How do you go from silence to re-establishing communication?

Agenda Requests

Held over from last time:

Skillful Interruptions (did we do this?)

Susan: how to balance rising costs of operating clinic and rent

Ruth: 4 answering phones, clients look down on us and minimize capabilities


First this time:

Ruth: 4 answering phones, clients look down on us and minimize capabilities, make sure they have a referral and are approved. Client needs multiple appointments and needs approval. Client didn’t have information needed, so can’t set up appointments without confirmation number. “Didn’t you make me sign something that says I’d pay if insurance isn’t approved?” Client has missed appointments in the past. Listens but wants to establish boundaries with clients. “What can I do to help? I can’t do that or I can do this…”

  • Saima: therapists have personal relationship with client, but clients are rude to reception because they have to establish policies, payments, etc.
  • Lindy: If a therapist is running late, client is rude to reception but nice to therapist.
  • Strategy: mirror their feelings, repeat policies while acknowledging their feelings; “This is what I can do for you…” establish what is in your power to fix things, “What I can do is place a call to LNI to make sure you are approved for treatment, then get back to you.”; paraphrase and negotiate a solution;

Update with Susan: in the process of finding an outside accountant; meeting about accounting became emotional


Dialogue: Code, Strategize, Practice

Roles:
Context:
Goal:

Debrief & Force field

•Surprises

  • Robbin: diffusing attacks with mirrors and paraphrasing
  • Saima: practice and awareness of using on a daily basis

•Learning

  • Lindy: Using mirroring and paraphrasing

•Satisfactions

  • Susan: hear staff problems worked out, proposal strategy
  • Ben: everyone shared things that didn’t work
  • Ria: communication takes work and it’s nice to know we are doing that
  • Ruth: session is helpful and offers solutions

•Dissatisfactions

•Discoveries

  • Kyla: challenging to communicate with co-workers and overcome old habits

•

Check Out

•Areas of future interest: email us ( or )

Force Field

Driving / Restraining / Prescription
- Susan speaking up
-Sharing personal experiences for others to learn
-Starting to feel more comfortable with each other, share more
-knowing ourselves better, deeper learning / -silence
-not being able to be here on time
-wishes everyone were in the same place / -
-Try to make sure to come in earlier

Volunteer for next time: