CHRISTIAN CEREMONY OF HOLY MATRIMONY DETAILS
ST. JOHN’S LUTHERAN CHURCH GREEN VALLEY, IL
Adapted from the, ‘Lutheran Service Book’
______&______Date: ______Time: ______
Seating of the Grandparents and Parents (along with the presentation of the Groom’s Party) (music title needed)
Bridesmaid’s and Attendants Procession (music title needed)
Bride’s Procession (if a separate title, insert music title needed)
PARENT’S BLESSING AND CONSENT: (optional, as follows:)
P: (Parents names given, one by one) Do you give your consent and approval to this marriage, and your blessing to this couple? If so, answer: “WE DO.”
RWE DO.
PWill you pray for and encourage [name] and [name] in their marriage, remembering that at all times God wills them to live within their vows until they are parted by death? If so, answer: “WE WILL.”
RWE WILL.
WELCOME, INVOCATION, AND OPENING MARITAL ADDRESS:
PIt is great that all of you have come to witness the joining of ______& ______in this Christian Wedding Ceremony. We make our beginning in the Name of the Father and of the (+) Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
P: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and before His Church to witness the union of this man and this woman in holy matrimony. This is an honorable estate instituted and blessed by God in Paradise, before humanity’s fall into sin.
In marriage we see a picture of the communion between Christ and His bride, the Church. Our Lord blessed and honored marriage with His presence and first miracle at the wedding of Cana in Galilee. This estate is also commended to us by the apostle Paul in Holy Scripture as good and honorable. Therefore, marriage is never to be entered into inadvisably or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.
The union of husband and wife is intended by God for mutual companionship, help, and support for each other, both in prosperity and in adversity. God also established marriage for the procreation of children who are to be brought up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord. [name] and [name] desire our prayers as they begin their marriage in the Lord’s name and with His blessing.
LESSONS FROM HOLY SCRIPTURE: (suggested options, usually a maximum of three) Lessons may be read by a special reader chosen by the couple.
Genesis 2:7, 18–24
The LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. . . .Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept He took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bonesand flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
Ephesians 5:1, 20–32
Be imitators of God, as His beloved children. And live in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. . . .Give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, as you subordinate yourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subordinate to your own husbands, as you are subordinate to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church subordinates herself to Christ, so also wives should be subordinate in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the Church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she mighty be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church, because we are members of His body. As it says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
I Corinthians 13:1–8a, 13
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.4For love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8Love never ends …… 13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Colossians 3:12–17
12As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called as one body. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Matthew 19:4–6
[In response to a question about marriage, Jesus answered the Pharisees:] "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh'? So then they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no one separate."
OTHER SCRIPTURE – (insert here)
SPECIAL WEDDING MESSAGE (text and theme will be inserted here by the Pastor) (Special musical selection[s] may be added before and/or after the message)
[Books ‘shuffled’ – couple asked to turn in slightly – attendants brought close]
INTRODUCTION TO VOWS ADDRESS:
P: Dearly beloved, our Lord and God established marriage when He created the heavens and the earth. With His holy Word He desires to bless the marriages of those who fear, love, and trust in Him. He gives His blessings to strengthen, assure, comfort, and console you through all the times in your life that you will share in your union in Him and with each other. He also pledges that He will never forsake His own and that He will always help and defend those who live in this estate according to His holy will.
Therefore, in joyful confidence, in the midst of His holy Church, amongst all of God’s people here, with some of the most special people in your lives standing at your side, and before the living God, who has brought the two of you together, I now ask you to give your solemn pledges that you will live in holy marriage according to His Word. (Beginning with you:)
PROMISES OF MARITAL FAITHFULNESS: (choose from these two options)
(OPTION ‘A’) P[Full, formal name of bridegroom], will/do you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony as God has ordained it? Will you love her, nourishing and cherishing her as Christ loved His body, the Church, giving Himself up for her? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, keep her in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, remain united to her alone, so long as you both shall live? If so, answer: ‘I WILL/DO’. RI WILL / DO.
P[Full, formal name of bride], will/do you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony as God has ordained it? Will you be subordinate to him, giving him proper Christian respect, as the Church is subordinate to Christ? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, keep him in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, remain united to him alone, so long as you both shall live? If so, answer: ‘I WILL/DO’. RI WILL / DO.
OR: (OPTION ‘B’) P[Full, formal name of bridegroom], will/do you have this woman to be your wife, to live with her in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, keep her in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be husband to her as long as you both shall live? If so, answer: ‘I WILL/DO’. RI WILL / DO.
P[Full, formal name of bride], will/do you have this man to be your husband, to live with him in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and respect him, keep him in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be wife to him as long as you both shall live? If so, answer: ‘I WILL/DO’. RI WILL / DO.
EXCHANGE OF CHRISTIAN VOWS: (repeat after me) [have couple face each other]
(OPTION ‘A’) [GROOM TO BRIDE:] I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, to forgive and to strengthen, according to God's holy will; and I pledge to you my faithfulness, as long as we both shall live.
[BRIDE TO GROOM:] I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, to forgive and to strengthen, according to God's holy will; and I pledge to you my faithfulness, as long as we both shall live.
OR: (OPTION ‘B’) [GROOM TO BRIDE:] I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife, and I pledge before God and the witnesses here present to be your faithful husband, to share with you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold you, to love and to cherish you, to forgive and to strengthen you, and to join with you that together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall live.
[BRIDE TO GROOM:] I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded husband, and I pledge before God and the witnesses here present to be your faithful wife, to share with you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold you, to love and to cherish you, to forgive and to strengthen you, and to join with you that together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall live.
PRESENTATION, BLESSING, AND PLACEMENT OF THE RINGS:
The rings are presented to the Pastor by the Best Man (and Maid/Matron of Honor), or Ring–bearer. They are placed into his book. He takes them to the altar and says:
PAlmighty Father, You have generously created all things to serve us for our good. Send Your blessing upon this couple who shall wear these (+) rings as a constant reminder of their marital fidelity. Grant that by Your mercy they may live gladly and faithfully in this holy estate; through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord. AMEN.
The rings are then brought one–by–one to the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor, to be given to the groom and bride to place on the other’s finger. The bridegroom and bride exchange rings. As each one is placing the ring on the other’s finger, the following is said, repeating after the Pastor:
RRECEIVE THIS RING – AS A PLEDGE AND TOKEN – OF WEDDED LOVE & FAITHFULNESS
The couple will now be invited to join their ring hands. Pastor places his hand on joined hands and rings and says:
P: Grant Your blessing, O Lord, to Your servants [name] and [name], that they may be ever mindful of their solemn pledges and, trusting in Your mercy, abound evermore in love all their days; through Jesus Christ, our Lord. AMEN.
LIGHTING OF THE UNITY CANDLE: (or other unity custom)
{During this time, often the moms (or daughters in marriages of older people) are invited to come and light the side candles that will be used by the couple to light the unity candle. Usually, a musical selection is also sung or performed at this time. [MUSICAL TITLE NEEDED] Traditions also include the couple giving out roses to each of the moms, and a time of kneeling before the altar before the pronouncement of marriage.}
PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE:
PNow that [name] and [name] have consented together in holy marriage, have given themselves to each other by their solemn pledges, and have declared the same before God and these witnesses, I therefore pronounce them to be husband and wife, in the Name of the Father and of the (+) Son and of the Holy Spirit. AMEN.
PMay our almighty and gracious God abundantly give you His favor and sanctify and bless you with the blessing given to Adam and Eve in paradise, that you may please Him in both body and soul and live together in holy love until your life's end. Peacebe with you. AMEN.
P(to the congregation:) What God has joined together, let no one separate.
WEDDING PRAYERS:
PAlmighty and everlasting God, our heavenly Father, grant that by Your blessing (name) and (name) may live together according to Your Word and promise. Strengthen them in faithfulness and love toward each other. Sustain and defend them through all times in their lives. Help them to live in faith toward You, in the communion of Your holy Church, and in loving service to each other that they may ever enjoy Your heavenly blessing ......
O God, our dwelling place in all generations, look with favor upon the homes of our land. Embrace all husbands and wives, parents and children, in the arms of Your love. Bless all of our homes that they may ever be a shelter for the defenseless, a fortress for the tempted, a resting place for the weary, and a foretaste of our eternal home with You. Through Your Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior, who has taught us to pray His prayer, which I now invite all of God’s people gathered here to pray together ……
LORD'S PRAYER: (all speak in unison)
COUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BE THY NAME. THY KINGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN; GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD; AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US; AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION, BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL. FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM AND THE POWER AND THE GLORY FOREVER AND EVER. AMEN.
FINAL BLESSING:
PNow may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who brings you together as one is faithful; He will surely do it. And may the eternal God, the Father, the (+) Son and the Holy Spirit, be with you, grant you His peace, and richly bless you in His love now and forever. AMEN.
INTRODUCTION OF NEW COUPLE: P: (To couple and wedding party –) Would you now all please turn and face the people. (to congregation – ) I would now like to introduce our new and happy couple, Mr. and Mrs. ______. (to couple – ‘You may now kiss the bride’)
RECESSIONAL: (insert musical title here)
+ + + + + + +
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:
+All scripture sections are from, “The Holy Bible, English Standard Version,” copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, IL. Used by permission of Standard Bible Society. All rights reserved.
+”Christian Ceremony of Marriage,” adapted from, “The Lutheran Service Book,” copyright © 2006, Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis, MO, and from, “Lutheran Worship,” copyright © 1982, CPH. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Created by Lutheran Service Builder, © 2007. Reprinted under Lutheran Liturgy License.