Antar Kunwar, a Rajput widow, with two married sons who live on either side of her two-room pukka house, describes her daily struggle.
Survival strategies
“Main gobar jama karke pet palti hoon.” I got Rs. 1200 by doing this. Her brother gives her Rs. 100-200 from time to time behind, his wife’s back. She explains with actions - “I gathered gehu from the fields (after it was harvested) of others, and have sifted through it, cleaned it and this is what I eat.” I have also had to ask/beg for food from others of Rajput caste.
Today, she has gathered arandi (castor) from other people’s fields to sell and get by. “Today I collected these mustard seeds and castor, I will sell it to get food for tonight. I have gathered this from my own field – if I go to other people’s fields, they will shout at me.”
Yesterday, we had some visitors and they gave me some food. “Kal se chulha nahi jala. Bhatije ki bahu ne khana bana ke diya tab se nahi khaya.” (No roti, no tea – Yesterday I ate, and since then I’ve been sitting hungry - it was afternoon when we visited her). [Starts abusing her daughter in law.]
Support from her sons
“If my son would give me even a little bit I could have gotten by. But he does not give me anything.” She says that the land is in her name, but sons till the land to till. There is an electricity connection, but, she claims that the son does not allow her to use any electricity. “Daughter in law broke my matki. I can’t carry heavy pots of water – even that they don’t do for me. I have to drink ‘kaali chai” – i have never had tea with milk.”
Perhaps realizing that she been using impolite language at one point she says “pet bhi baat karta hai” (my stomach is empty), to explain the harshness of her words.
Government schemes
I was getting a phone from my natal village but the conductor in the bus took it away from me. I don’t have a job card – why don’t you help me get one. If I don’t work, I will die of hunger. Someone told me give me your ration card, I’ll get you a BPL card. But my daughter in law did not do it, so i have no ration card. Ration card is with the daughter in law. She went to the sarpanch [for her pension], but he did not give a proper answer.
As it turns out, Antar is among those who have been included in the recent pension campaign of the government - “I was not in the village when the pension abhiyan was on – son must have filled the form filled. He had taken 8 photographs from me.”
(Transcribed by: Reetika Khera and Kailash Banjara)