50 Shade Themed Parties
Written by: Darlene Horwath
Illustrated by: Nicole Carrasco
Reviewed by: Viktoria Miller, Christine Deibel, Jenny Elliott & Shari Leavitt
As of June 1, 2012 Fifty Shades of Grey, Darker, and Freed occupied the top 4 spaces on the New York Times Best Seller List for fiction, and they have been on the list since March 2012, when they arrived on the scene.
Fifty Shades is not your typical romance novel or erotica, but it certainly seems to be jump starting libidos and relationships over the country!
It is also not really a BDSM or D/s guide either, although it does delve into some “less than mainstream” areas, including dominance and submission. However, keep in mind that the books make at least 80 references to Ana’s subconscious -which is anything but submissive, and nearly 60 more references to her inner goddess.
The story is a pretty standard love story – Christian Grey is a super-rich, strikingly handsome, successful, possessive, jealous, and controlling man who had a horrible childhood, yet learned to cope through his extensive sexcapades. He meets his match in Anastasia Steele, a beautiful, strong-willed, naïve, sharp tongued, young virgin. Together they vividly experience many of those Fifty Shades.
Let me share some of the things Ana and Christian discovered on their journey – all the way from “vanilla to fifty.” Are you ready to be set abuzz and possibly ablaze? Don’t worry if you haven’t finished the books yet, I won’t give any of the real good parts away...but I am going to share some quotes straight from the book with you, then show you the props, crops and pull out the stops, so you can see how they did it! Are you ready???
“And suddenly it’s there, from nowhere, that feeling. Oh my—the longing, the lust, the electricity. If it were visible, it would be an intense blue aura around and between us it’s so strong. His lips part as he gazes at me. “Do you feel it?” he breathes. “Yes.”“Oh, Ana.” He groans…”
“Do you have any idea how exquisite your scent is, Ana? It’s irresistible.”
Clearly Ana and Christian have a deep attraction to each other, and they love each other’s special scent. Pheromones are substances released by one animal or person and detected by another, which cause an increase in the desire for sexual activity. If you want to enhance your natural attractant, consider our bath and body products, enhanced with attractants.
Holy Cow! Both Ana and Christian also pay particular attention to personal hygiene and shaving too, and have we got some great products for all of those special things!
The Romanta Therapy™ bath and body collection has been specifically designed to heighten our senses and sooth our tensions. The line consists of attractant enriched bath products, body products, and sexual enhancements. These products are known to arouse, allure, stimulate, soften, and excite; engaging our sense of touch and enchanting our sense of smell, just like Christian & Ana would want it.
Follow up your bathing rituals with a healthy dose of Pure Instinct Pheromone Cologne, and imagine the possibilities.
Reaching up, he pulls at my chin, his touch searing me. “You’re biting your lip,” he breathes. “You know what that does to me,” he adds darkly.
Ana could drive Christian wild by doing nothing more than biting her lower lip. Imagine his excitement if she had been wearing Nibblers Flavored Lip Balm when they were kissing. Can you imagine the two of them tingling even more? And who knows, a little on the nipples may have been extremely inviting for both of them too!
“You’re very quiet, and you’re not even blushing. In fact – I think this is the palest I’ve ever seen you, Anastasia,” he murmurs. “Are you hungry?”
Christian spends a great deal of concern about Anastasia’s state of well-being, and often asks her if she is hungry. He has a constant need to feed her in so many ways. Imagine his delight with our flavored passion products, to combine his favorite activities of eating and passion play!
“He stares down at me, and there’s wonder in his eyes, wonder and love and passion, and it’s breathtaking. “I want you so badly,” he says and very slowly, exquisitely…”
Clearly Christian has it bad for Anastasia. He spent a lot of time paying attention to her level of readiness for him. In real life we can’t always be ready at a moment notice, so I can recommend a few products to help you get there bigger, better, badder and faster!
Pure SATISFACTION is an exclusive UniSex gel for enhanced sexual satisfaction. It acts as a superb intimate lubrication enhancer and stimulant to the soft tissue that creates a cool, tingling sensation for both lovers. Couple it with our G-Spot Crème to promote a higher awareness and sensitivity.
“My mouth is already open from panting. I open wider, and he slides a large cool metal object between my lips. Shaped like an oversized baby’s pacifier, it has small grooves or carvings … “I’m going to put this inside you …”
Christian may be hot and rich, but he chooses to use the least expensive and least efficient lubricant most of the time…saliva! However, when using toys he definitely used a lube. Lubrication can make a huge difference in enjoyment level, help decrease pain and discomfort, help you feel sexier, and add more sensation to passion play, to name just a few benefits. As we often say, wetter sex is better sex! Choose from our amazing selection of water based and silicone lubricants.
“I shudder at the thought of being flogged or whipped. Spanking probably wouldn’t be so bad, humiliating though. And tied up? Well he did tie my hands together. That was… well it was hot, really hot, so perhaps that won’t be so bad.”
“It’s a curious feeling….it becomes abundantly clear why he wants me to walk around – as I do, the balls weigh down inside me, massaging me internally. It’s such a weird feeling and not entirely unpleasant. Oh my… I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.”
Well, that covered a lot of ground quickly! Spanking for pleasure? Internal balls? Oh my! So let’s delve into these pleasures a bit more.
First a little background. Bondage, Dominance/submission, sadism &masochism all fall under the broad category often referred to as BDSM or D/s. It encompasses a wide variety of activities including consensual restraints, intense sensory stimulation, fantasy, and role-play.
Fetishism in contrast, is sexual attraction to objects, situations, or body parts not traditionally viewed as sexual. The most common are feet, shoes, leather, hair, and piercings.
Kegel Exercising 101
Ben Wa Balls have been around since about 500 A.D, used in the orient. They are also known as Love Balls and Pleasure Balls. Ben Wa Balls were originally meant to provide the man with extra pleasure during intercourse but then it was apparent they also had a positive effect on the woman. The feeling of the balls floating freely in the vagina and constantly massaging the vaginal walls caused intense sexual arousal. Interestingly, there was a time when the balls were filled with mercury. Well, since that wasn’t really good for your long term health, new and improved pleasure balls were created.
Our 21st century versions include Ben Wa balls, Pleasure Pearls and Kegel Pods. The Kegel Pods being most similar to that Ana experienced. These are Scientifically-weighted soft and smooth silicone pods have balls inside them. They are designed for daily exercise and pleasure wear. Leave them in for a few hours or all day to increases orgasmic intensity and vaginal muscle control. As a bonus, every move you make can cause the internal balls to vibrate. Hence, the vaginal muscles are stimulated, massaged and exercised. Removal is simple with the attached cord; they are easy to clean too.
Punishment spanking hurts far more than sensual spanking – so that’s about as hard as it gets, unless of course you commit some major transgression, in which case I’ll use some implement to punish you with. My hand was very sore. But I like that.
“He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny balls linked with a thread. I am going to put these inside you, and then I am going to spank you. Not for punishment, but for your pleasure and mine”… Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils”
Erotic Spanking 101
Spanking can be utilized in the realms of both punishment and pleasure. Keep in mind that not all spankings are done for punishment and not all punishment is rendered in the form of a spanking.
Sexual play should be mutually pleasing. If your partner wants to do something that is just too far outside your comfort zone, it is ok to say no and set hard limits…just like Ana and Christian did.
Stimulation like spanking can trigger hugely erotic responses on many different levels –
· the fact that the area is a major erogenous zone in itself
· the additional pooling of blood increasing stimulation to the area
· the helpless surrendering of the spankee (but still in a safe environment)
· the added response secondary to the pain
· the release of endorphins – that sense of euphoria
So if you are ready to add Sensual Spanking to your love play:
· discuss it with your partner in a non-sexual setting first
· set your limits
· plan safe words
· decide on which accessories you will need!
Erotic Spanking tips:
· Safety First - the spanker should remove all bracelets, watches and rings and warm their hands by rubbing them together
· go slowly and start with a little massage or over clothes
· positioning can be important- doggy style is common as is a front lying position, but over the knee can allow for extra clitoral stimulation for women (not so great for men) and restrained positions are fun options too.
· start with playful taps
· one cheek at a time
· the goal is to stimulate the skin, but not cause marks or bruising
· take your time, go slow, this is fun pleasure and pain all at once
· hand spanking gives more control to begin – you can add props later like paddles, snappers, whips or floggers and the like
· cup the palm slightly and keep fingers together for the most effective spanking (less pain, lots of blood flow)
· throw in a flat hand once in a while if you like for extra intensity
· focus on the fleshy part of the bottom…especially where the leg meets the cheeks, and stay below the top of the hip bones unless you know what your doing, to avoid damage to the spine, internal organs or support structures.
· massage and fondle between spanks for added build up and to keep things nice and warm down
· It is ok to fondle your partner’s other parts during a spanking too.
· To save on wear and tear to your hand, try a paddle! They are fun, exciting and will add to both your pleasure and are the least pain inducing of the props.
· avoid hitting the tailbone (it can be painful and even break)
· follow-up with massage lotion or oil, like Christian did for Ana – to reduce the intensity of the after-sting. Passion Body Dew, Passion Massage Lotion the ultra-refreshing Cooling Foot Crème.
So how did Christian get Ana to try the spanking, bondage, toys and general all those shades of grey? Well, he established trust, clear boundaries and took it slowly…
· “He reaches down, lifts my chin, and plants a soft wet kiss on my lips before slipping the blindfold over my eyes.”
· “He produces some leather cuffs from his back pocket and reaches around me. This is it. Where’s he going to take me this time?”
· “He moves so quickly, he fastens my wrists together, but this time he ties the other end of the tie to the white iron headboard. I’m not going anywhere. I’m tied, literally, to my bed, and I’m so aroused.”
· “Gently, he caresses my behind and curls his other hand around the nape of my neck, his fingers tightening around my hair at the nape, his elbow at my back, holding me down … “Open your legs,” he murmurs and for a moment, I hesitate. And he smacks me hard—”
· “At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. He walks around me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. He suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind … against my sex … The shock runs through me, and it’s the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling … My body convulses at the sweet, stinging bite.”
· My wrists have a red welt around them from the handcuffs. No doubt they’ll bruise. I examine my ankles—more welts. Holy hell, I look like I’ve been in some sort of accident. I gaze at myself, trying to absorb how I look…“Anastasia,” Christian calls and I hear his anxiety. “Are you okay?” I ignore him. Am I okay? No, I am not okay.
So now let’s talk about some accessories you might want to pick up for your fantasy play.
First, let’s dispel one myth; the idea that games, or blindfolds, scarves, ties and handcuffs are somehow silly, abusive or “kinky.” Wrong. In loving hands, these toys are wholesome, fun, sensually erotic and can enhance sensation and heighten anticipation. They make sex more dramatic, more exciting and less predictable. And the less predictable, the more possibilities!
Playfully erotic games are very similar to using blind folds above. How much do you trust your lover? Enough to answer—and ask—highly personal questions? Games ask you to do or say things that you might not do uninspired. Things that might open up a new world for you, sexually and emotionally. It is one more way to feel ok about trying something new…and often leads to more satisfaction in the bedroom and beyond. Ana spent hours and hours trying to figure Christian out.