THE AZA ADVENTURE
Henry Monsky AZA #791
Programmers:
Aleph Ido Badash
Aleph Robert Radoff
AZA ADVENTURE
INTRODUCTION
Robert: Welcome to the AZA Adventure
Ido: Tonight you will have choices to make that will decide what AZA is to you?
Robert: Is it a Jewish Fraternity?
Ido: A fraternity of Jews?
Robert: A sports league?
Ido: A place to meet friends?
Robert: A way to learn leadership?
Ido: What is AZA to you?
Robert: It is usually a hard question to tackle as there are many answers; however, hopefully, allot you a better understanding of this organization.
Ido: They say if you truly want to understand the intent of something you need to build it. Toni8ujm ght you the Alephs of Henry Monsky AZA #791 will be rebuilding AZA and establishing its principles. You will decide whether AZA is a sports league or a Jewish fraternity.
Robert: Who better to decide the organization than its members? Who better to say what kind of an order we should be?—No one, tonight you will be the ones determining the mission of this organization.
Ido:You will have choices to make, that will affect your version of AZA and determine whether or not it will be a successful organization. You will be looking at some of the largest issues to face AZA and YOU will be deciding how AZA will react.
Robert: We expect tonight to be fun, informative, and shed a new light on this organization that perhaps none of you has seen in the past. Now, Simon has a few words to share with you.
SIMON TALKS or SCREAMS BOTH ARE GOOD (Respect Talk)
Ido: The program is designed to be funny and entertaining; however, we cannot run a program without people listening to us. Please be respectful and have fun.
Robert: We will now begin the program.
Ido: The year is 2064.
Robert: For the past 10 years, countries all over the globe have been engaged in the 3rdworld war. 10 years ago, fundamental socialist hippie extremists with aspirations for world domination invaded and took over the continent nation of Australia.
Ido: From there, they aimed 100 nuclear warheads (which they had bought off the black market) straight at America and fired them off.
Robert: The warning sirens came too late, as president Meister and the rest of America watched helplessly as the weapons of mass destruction soared…straight over them and right into Canada.
Ido: Apparently somewhere there had been some incorrect calculations of derivatives and now Canada was lying in ruins, but it’s ok…it’s Canada.
Robert: Seeing the battle at their doorstep, America and its allies declared war on Australia and the few allies it had.
Ido: Needing every available individual for the war as the draft was lowered to 16. Henry Monsky AZA, along with the International order, was disbanded, agreeing to reform after the storm had withdrawn.
Robert:We will now hear a speech from President Ryan Meister where he will go over the events of the war.
(The following is what our godol said as President of the United States about the war, however it is unnecessary to the project, I included it for giggles.)
President Ryan Meister:Conflict was inevitable. Both nations were founded by Brits, but America was created under the unflinching banner of the noble and prude Puritans, whereas Australia was founded by the filth and bile that were British prisoners. For a time, all was well. Both nations subjugated and destroyed their indigenous peoples while simultaneously expanding their borders. But America was a land rich with natural resources and Australia was a land rich with kangaroos. Jealously gripped the Aussies, for why should such a selfish people control so much? Aussies deserved it more!
Years of hated began to grow and fester in the hearts of the Aussies. All that was needed was a leader to reach out and seize control. And so a man arose. [Play film here: Known to his followers as “Corey” and to his enemies as “Corey” he soon became the head of the Australian Proletariat Party for the Protection of the Sanctity and Sovereignty of the Most Glorious Nation of Australia or APPFTPOTSASOTMGNOA. Upon the strength of their memorable name and unabashed leader the party soon grew to be the most powerful in all of Australia. Soon anti-American rallies were held daily with effigies of Bush and Dick being burned nightly. But no one seemed to notice, for there are more important things than Australia, such as foot fungus and that weird bump on your neck that just won’t seem to go away. So Australia had the methods, but not the means to strike out at their hated enemy. But soon they were approached by a man with an offer they just could not refuse. Osama offered them all the nukes they could want (yeah, Iran was building them) as long as they agreed to strike at their most hated enemy America. Using the expert racketeers of Iran, the entire arsenal was launched upon an unsuspecting United States. Death and despair reigned o’er the land, or so would have said the papers if the Aussies had used at least semi-competent missile engineers. Instead, the nukes soared harmlessly into Canada, leaving the world’s gentlest country a smoldering ruin. And no one seemed to care.
The lightning quick strike of the Aussies sent most of the world reeling. With most of the American army deployed in the Middle East, America was not able to mount an effective counter attack as quickly as it would have hoped. But, since they were Australia, their military was unable to effectively do much of anything. Hoping to strike quickly, the Australian navy decided to launch a raid upon the western seaboard, but they got lost and drowned.
Soon, America was able to re-direct is effort and devote its full attention to Australia. Shortly afterward Iraq was consumed by infighting and the government imploded leading a group of radicals to blow up Iranian nuclear facilities and thus destroy a large chunk of the area, but that’s a different story.
Just as American troops set foot upon Australian soil, a great shriek pierced their entire beings. It turns out that Osama and Corey were actually high priests of the cult of Cthulhu. The war had merely been a ruse to lead to the death of thousands so that he may finally awaken. Emerging from the sea, the otherworldly creature set about destroying the entire American fleet.
You may be asking where Europe and Asia are during all the fighting. While trying to help the Americans, the French fired off all the nukes they had at their disposal. But they’re French, so the nukes sailed right into Russia. Russia was furious and decided to declare war on the French. But the French were too far away so they invaded China. China was furious, and they immediately decided to declare war. But the bureaucracy was so ingrained into their consciousness, which they had to go through the entire system which somehow ended with them declaring war on India. England, seeing their chance also declared war on India which caused Germany to declare war on Italy because they lost to them in the World Cup. That’s what the rest of the world was doing.
With each individual killed, Cthulhu grew in power until it was nearly 200 feet tall and capable of sucking the souls out of people nearly 600 ft away (200 meters!!!). Just as all hope had faded, the soldiers looked to the east. And there was the white wizard, sheathed in a cloak of pure light. Conjuring all his power, he was able to summon the Cloverfield monster from New York to do battle with the Great Old One.
A titanic battle of titanic proportions ensued, rife with titanic monsters, titanic events, and titanic consequences. Just as Cthulhu seemed to gain the upper hand in the titanic conflict, Leonidas leapt majestically through the air and stabbed Cthulhu in the neck before being brutally ripped apart and scattered to the winds. This distraction was all the time the Cloverfield monster (actually named Vinny) needed to strike back. Vinny proceeded to rip off Cthulhu’s tentacles which were the source of its power. Vinny was then able to gut and rend Cthulhu until it was nothing but a blob in the sea. America showed its appreciation by carpet bombing the entire nation. Vinny’s body was never found.
After the war, all the troops returned. Because all the generals were seemed to think that Jew meant Justice Enforcement Worker and all the generals were doing SOMETHING illegal, they assigned them all to stay at home so as not to report anything. And so this was the very first war in history where Jews were NOT killed.
Robert: The war has now ended.
Ido: As promised 10 years ago, it is time to restart the Aleph Zadik Aleph. Each group is being charged with this task.
Robert: Through the choices your group makes, AZA will be restarted.
Ido: Be honest about your feelings towards each decision, for this is your order and remember that each choice has both its own rewards and consequences, so be prepared to deal with each when the time arrives.
Robert: Your decisions will force you to look not only inside yourself, but also inside your brothers sitting on either side of you, and will allow you to answer the long time question – what makes up the Aleph Zadik Aleph?
Ido: We will now split into groups. Please follow your leader’s instructions and enjoy.
The AZA Adventure
- As stated before, it is our job to rekindle the flames of AZA. Through our chases, we will blaze a new path. At each crossroad we face, a decision by the majority must be reached in order to continue. Remember, be honest and open for this is your AZA and it should be made in a manner you see fit.
(Pass out the Exec Board slips)
These are your positions please read the descriptions to yourself and remember to do as it says throughout the program.
Now we will be creating our organizations mission statement. The old one for BBYO was more Jewish teens more Jewish experiences. Please make one for the organization that we will create today.
(Create one serious and one funny missions statement, make sure the mazkir records them)
The restarting of your AZA chapter is at its conception, yet there is already one pondering question that looms over everyone’s mind: What kind of order will AZA be? The root of the dilemma lies at the feet of two of the seven cardinal principles: Judaism and Fraternity. One strong voiced opinion states that the strength of AZA came from the bond that every aleph shares—their Jewish faith. Thus the emphasis of the new AZA should be on Judaism. Yet, there is an equally strong dissenting opinion saying that AZA was started as a fraternity by Jewish teens, and that their original bond didn’t come from being Jewish but more from their bond of fraternity with one another. Thus they move that the new AZA have emphasis on Fraternity. The argument is tied, so the decision has come down to you. What will the new AZA be? A Jewish Fraternity (emphasis on Judaism) or a Fraternity of Jews (Emphasis on Fraternity)?
If they choose Judaism… go to 2
If they choose Fraternity… go to 5
- In accordance with your decision, AZA becomes a Jewish Fraternity with an emphasis on Judaism. While majorities are ultimately pleased with the choice, there still exists a strong dissenting opinion. The dissenters, in a sign of protest, decide to break off from AZA completely and form their own new youth group called JTA, Jewish Teens of America. This creates a ripple effect throughout the order, causing many to believe that fraternity is completely lost. While the focus of the order is on Judaism, the order doesn’t want fraternity erased. You have been charged with re-establishing some of the lost fraternity. How would you go about re-establishing some of the lost fraternity within your chapter?
PROBLEM SOLVING
Once they’ve decided the best course of action, go to 3
3. Through some of the guidelines you set forth being implicated, the catastrophe of complete fraternity loss has been conquered. Through the next few months, you go on with little to no problems, staying true to your Jewish roots. However, you wake up the next morning to find that Palestinian/Israeli conflicts have heated up when Israel mistakenly quarantines and cleanses an entire Palestinian village, causing a negative public opinion of Israel. You have a choice to make. Do you either stand up and publicly declare your support for Israel and risk looking unpopular in the community’s eyes or do you lay low for a while, waiting for the whole thing to boil over?
Choice
Support Israel... go to 4A, then go to 8
Lay Low… go to 4B, then go to 8
4A. To show support, AZA has Israeli education programs at various temples and synagogues. You receive praise from many different Rabbi’s and leaders in the Jewish community for your efforts. Yet the praises become afterthoughts when you arrive to next day at the AZA office only to find that a giant swastika has been spray painted over the walls. This only intensified your efforts more, remaining steadfast to the Jewish bond that unites all Alephs. However, this causes many parents to be scared, causing them to switch their kids into the new JTA youth group. Over the next few months, JTA rises to become just as popular and successful as AZA, and the two become equal regarding membership.
Continue to 8
4B. You decide to lay low and because of that decision, you don’t receive any public discrimination. However, the new JTA youth group decides to take the other course and they hold a public program, showing their strong support for Israel. For this, they receive much praise from the Jewish community, causing many members that would’ve been in AZA to instead switch into JTA.
Continue to 8
5. In accordance with your decision, AZA becomes a fraternity for a Jew with an emphasis on Fraternity. While majorities are ultimately pleased with this decision, there is still the strong opposition from many. Those opposing the choice, in a sign of protest, decide to break off from AZA completely and form their own new youth group called JTA, Jewish Teens of America. This creates a ripple effect throughout the order, causing many to think that Judaism is completely lost. While the focus of the order is on fraternity, the order doesn’t want Judaism erased. You have been charged with re-establishing some of the lost Judaism. How would you go about re-establishing some of the Judaism lost within AZA?
Problem-Solving
Once they’ve decided the best course of action, go to 6.
6. Listening to your recommendations, the Judaism that many thought was lost within AZA has now been restored. AT the same time as this is happening, your sister BBG chapter proposes a merger with you. There would still be AZA and BBG, yet everything would be done together. One hand, all programming would now be with girls. Some people have been complaining of stale programming when its just guys, so now always doing programs with the girls would definitely be more fun and probably increase attendance. Yet on the other hand, if the two were to combine, the AZA bond of fraternity would take a serious backstage role to the fun-having. So what do you do: join with the girls or remain completely independent.
Choice
Join with the girls…go to 7A, then go to 8
Remain independent… go to 7B, then go to 8
7A. So you chose to be with the girls, at first it’s a lot of fun, but soon, it becomes clear that a needed identity has been lost. So with that, you end your stint and go back to being just AZA.
Continue to 8
7B. Because of your decision to hold on to your AZA identity, there is a positive vibe within the order with everyone feeling that a correct decision was made. This creates more fraternity and attendance thus increased anyways.