Shailos for Rabbi Willig
Conference Call # 51
1. Our shul’s bylaws do not allow a woman to be president nor first vice president. We currently have a 9 person board including 2 women who serve and with elections coming up next week, possibly a third. To date their titles have been recording secretary, and educational secretary. a) If another woman is elected can she be given the title of treasurer? b) Our minimum quorum is 5 for a meeting. If 3 of those members that show up are women, and they vote together against the other 2 male board members, we would have a majority, at least for that meeting, of women.Is that permissible?
2. The nusach of the shul is nusach sefard, personally, I daven nusach Ashkenaz. As the rabbi of the shul what should I daven? Should I change my nusach - the shul certainly won’t change theirs.
3. In general If I Daven in a shul that davens differently than my personal nusach and I bring my (young) son to shul what should I teach him? If I teach him my nusach he will have trouble following along in davening since the shul is davening differently. If I teach him the shul nusach then I am not teaching him my family's mesorah. Also, I daven according to my nusach except the parts of davening said aloud. Won’t this confuse my son?
4. When it comes to a Keurig coffee machine I have heard different opinions regarding tevilah. Some say to sell the machine to a goy, some say since it can't be toiveled by definition it does not require tevilah, some say since it can only function while plugged in it is considered "attached to ground" and does not require tevilah. Can the rav discuss these opinions? Also, since I think everyone would agree that it is not a necessity to have a Keurig coffee machine should one be more stringent since it is not possible to toivel it?
5. Considering the Melachos of Tochen and Lash, may one make tuna salad on Shabbos? How about an avocado dip?
6. Is it permissible to spray whipped cream on Shabbos? How about on Yom Tov?
7. If one purchases or receives a pre-packaged chocolate platter on a glass tray that was not toiveled, must the chocolate be removed from the tray before serving it? May one continue to use the tray without tevilah?
8. If Yom Tov shortens Shloshim for an Aveil, does it also affect his Kadima to daven from the Amud immediately after Yom Tov? Or does Kadima from the Amud still last 30 days, Yom Tov or not?
9. Can you apply sun tan lotion on a child on shabbos and yom tov?
10. I have a bal habayit in my shul who is looked up to by many in the community, his wife has shared with my wife and I very difficult stories regarding their shalom bayis, although we are not professional therapists, if even a small amount of what she claims is true , he is certainly very abusive. They have seen many therapists together, it appears that when he feels cornered, he walks out and demands to see a different therapist; and after many years, only she sees one by herself. The woman has some married children and some in shidduchim, she does not want to leave him because she feels that a broken home for children is worse than the abuse she is taking. Is that an abused woman talking, or a Torah hashkafa? What is my responsibility here?
11. a. As a follow up to last conference call about the Swifter Sweeper, there is also a variety with a wet cloth. May one use that type on shabbos? b. What is Rebbe's opinion about using baby wipes or wet ones on shabbos? c. May one use a carpet sweeper on shabbos? d. May one allow the non-Jewish maintenance worker to use a vacuum cleaner on shabbos to clean up after a kiddush in shul? Would the Halacha be different in a private home?
12. Many of the women seem to be wearing fresh makeup on shabbos. Should a rabbi speak out about this or just let it be? In general, what is Rebbe's opinion regarding "shabbos makeup" (the machlokes between Rav Moshe and Rav Shlomo Zalman)?
13. What Brocha should be said for:a. rice cakes b. granola bars? Is a bracha supposed to be made on Listerine strips? What is Rebbe's opinion regarding a Brocha on desserts? Is there a difference between cake, cooked fruit, raw fruit, nuts, chocolate, or jello?
14. A Baal Habayis with a large family and many financial responsibilities has a downs syndrome daughter who is now a teen. She is reasonably functioning (going to a special school) considering her condition. Would like to know if he can use Maaser to set up a trust to benefit child when he and his wife might no longer be able to do so. (What is obligation of kesubah to child? Does it have an age limitation, at which time the community would be responsible, and Maaser of his makes sense? Can he plan this in this way?)
15. The Aron HaKodesh in my shul faces South. Mishna Berura says that in this scenario it is proper to face East, but if one comes to such a shul and everyone else is facing South one should face South and turn his face East. Everyone in my shul davens towards the Aron HaKodesh, facing South, and have done such for as long as they have been davening here. Should I try to have everyone daven facing East, or should we continue davening facing South?
16. A young man in the community has OCD which he has been dealing with through counseling and a lot of personal work. He is doing much better than when I first met him. He is now in shidduchim and I am often called as a reference. Often I am asked, "Is there anything else that you think I should know?" I have not said that he has OCD, but rather have been responding that "I think he is wonderful, and as it progresses you should feel free to check in with me after a third or fourth date." I don't want to damage his opportunities, (and even the right girl might be scared off by the stigma of such a label) but I don't want to withhold proper information. Is there a better balance Rebbe can recommend?
17. I have received a few shailos recently about Ashkenazim eating meat from the hindquarters after Niqur. There are Rabbanim who approve of this Basar Menuqar; does Rebbe think it is permitted for Ashkenazim to eat such meat?
18. May one make instant oatmeal on Shabbos (i.e. applying hot water/milk to the dried flakes)? There seems to be differing opinions on this issue.
19. When people have rodents in their house, it is often after the birthing seasons. As such, often baby rodents are nesting in the house. If traps are applied, often the lactating mother, who is out and about foraging for food, is trapped and removed/euthanized. When this happens, it will likely lead to the death of the babies who may not be able to move yet (depending how old they are and what species they are). As a result they will die of dehydration since they are unable to receive any nutrients, lacking their mother’s milk. Is the potential dehydration of the babies considered tzaar ba’alei chayim? All this is weighed against the damage the rodents can do to the inside of one’s home.