Kinship Team Training Day

1.Our Vision

i.Our overall vision

ii.So … what is kinship?

iii.What different groups look like

2.The Kinship Team

i.The value and purpose of a kinship team

ii.Training opportunities for the kinship facilitators & their team

iii.Who does what?

iv.Planning ahead and being reflective

This check list can often be a good discussion opener for kinship team meetings:

3.What style of leadership?

4.Our Shared Values

i.Kinship values

ii.Helping others to absorb these values

iii.Ministry time

5.Sharing our lives with one another

i.The benefits of sharing

ii.Five levels of communication

iii.Guidelines for sharing

iv.Ideas for Sharing

6.Our Pastoral Structure

i.Pastoral care

ii.Pastoral care beyond the group

iii.Confidentiality

iv.Things we always need to know

v.Dealing with difficulties

7.Multiplying your kinship

i.Healthy things grow

ii.So how do we do it?

iii.Choosing growth

iv.Ready to multiply….

8.Appendices

i.Appendix A: Biblical Background to Sharing

ii.Appendix B: Possible Problem Situations

iii.Appendix C: The function of kinship

iv.Feedback form

1.Our Vision

i.Our overallvision

to extend the Kingdom of God

to have a church built around Jesus

to have a church that changes people’s hearts, that changes people’s lives that then changes the world

  • About our vision for growth

To exist for the unchurched

To be a vehicle for our generation

To build a church, not like a ‘church’

To be the church, rather than just go to church

To be God's agent for change

We exist to do what God wants

  • Small groups in the New Testament church

We see significant growth

From 1 – 120 people in 3 years (Acts 1:15)

From 120 – 3120 people in 1 day (Acts 2:42-47)

Then 5000 people etc … (Acts 4:4)

People were cared for in small groups (Acts 2:42 – 47)

These groups were vital for the continued growth

They were large enough to celebrate yet small enough to care

Jesus and small groups

He poured his life into 12 people

We are the result of that first small group

  • How kinships fit into the overall vision of WSVC

They are the place where we multiply disciples

They are the place where we mobilise disciples

We are called to grow a church not just gather a crowd

ii.So … what is kinship?

What kinship isn’t …

It’s not a Bible study

Our main Bible teaching is on a Sunday.

Kinship isn’t a traditional sit down and open your Bible group.

BUT scripture is highly valued and often used. We approach it in an interactive and practical way.

It’s not a counselling forum

It’s not a group therapy session – someone comes and shares a problem and we all give advice. Rather, it’s a place where the Holy Spirit can minister.

It’s not a discussion group

We don’t simply want to debate without seeing lives changed BUT it is a place where questions can be raised.

It’s not a prayer group

There are times when the group will pray specifically about things, but our intercessory prayer groups are designed to cover these areas.

But kinship is …. and these things are non-negotiable

A real meeting with God

In worship

Through the gifts of the Holy Spirit

Through ministry

During communion

A real meeting with each other

Relaxed and informal

Sharing food

Sharing our needs

Meeting regularly

Kinship is also

A place to give and receive pastoral care

This is a crucial function of Kinship. Kinships are fundamental to the Pastoral structure of WSVC and pastoral care begins within the group.

This can be very different from other churches and from some people’s experience. We need to explain this well – and often!

A place for growth

Continuing growth is critical to the health of a kinship.

We look for this growth in two areas:

Personal within each of us as we are discipled, are changed and grow to be more like Jesus

Numerical as we look to gather new people into each group, identify and grow new leaders and multiply the group, planting a new group out of the existing one. This is how the church grows and how the Kingdom grows.

iii.What different groups look like

We also have Intercessory prayergroups.

Remember - prayer changes things.

Our groups are strategically placed.

They are small groups working together.

Encourage those in your groups to get involved.

2.The Kinship Team

i.The value and purpose of a kinshipteam

Worship Leader

Host

Facilitator

They provide a strong supportive unit

No one person should be carrying the load of the kinship. It is a team effort with the responsibility shared. A healthy team will prevent burn out and keep a kinship going for the long haul.

  • Aim to share kinship night stuff – welcoming, leading, teaching, ministry.
  • Aim to share pastoral care through the week.
  • Aim to share the Sunday “touching base” with people.
  • Aim to share the gathering of new people.

They provide a strong structural framework

  • Aim for a team meeting every six weeks.
  • Set goals. Have a clear focus in mind.
  • Plan ahead. Have some idea of where you are heading over a six week block.
  • Assess how you are doing. Don’t be afraid to be reflective. What’s worked and what hasn’t? (see later notes)

They ensure a balanced diet

Without a team, the facilitators tend to fall back on things they want to do!

  • A team helps keep the menu fresh and relevant.
  • A team helps encourage each other out of our comfort zones to try new things.
  • A team helps us to make sure that the Vineyard Values are being assimilated and the Vineyard basics are being taught.
  • A team helps to keep the group outward focused.

They release more involvement

  • Team spirit can’t be under estimated and it is infectious. If the team feels included and is enjoying kinship, this will filter down to the kinship as a whole.
  • Teams make the flavour of a group – like the ingredients in fruit salad. Just eating apple is dull!

They have a training function

  • Coming on to a team can be a training place as we begin to explore the gifts God has given us.
  • Team members can then train others – either formally, to take over your role, or informally as you model to the group ministry, sharing, generosity etc.
  • The importance of I R T D M N R

Identify, Recruit, Deploy, Monitor, Nurture, Release

They have a spiritual dimension

  • Praying collectively as a team for the kinship is very valuable.
  • Seeking God as a team for what he wants to do with the people he has gathered to you.
  • Supporting each other in prayer through the week and especially on kinship nights. The enemy hates us meeting together!
  • Spiritually “bridging the gap” for each other when we are feeling personally empty and needing refreshment.

ii.Training opportunities for the kinship facilitators & their team

  • Leaders’ Meetings – termly for Facilitators and Ministry leaders.
  • Conferences – especially the Vineyard National Leaders’ Conference which is open to all our leaders.
  • Kinship Refresher Mornings – termly for everyone on a kinship team.
  • Training Days and Workshops – Healing, Hearing God, Worship etc.
  • Vineyard Bible Institute and Vineyard Leaders Institute – study programmes.

iii.Who does what?

Worship leading

  • The priority of seeking God’s face.
  • The importance of preparation.
  • Being aware of the physical things that can inhibit worship – room temperature etc.
  • Pressing on through distractions – late comers, broken strings, ringing phones.
  • Modelling worship – singing directly to God.
  • Training other worship leaders.

Hosting

  • Showing hospitality – not just making tea and coffee! (Rom 12:13; 1Pet 4:9.)
  • Creating a relaxed atmosphere.
  • Not under estimating the importance of food!
  • Often a stepping stone to being a facilitator.

Facilitator

  • Intentionally we use the term facilitator. They help facilitate what God is doing.
  • Every team needs a captain – but the final decisions rest with you.
  • Give time to develop a supportive team – a healthy team equals a healthy group.
  • Offering a balanced diet over the weeks – teaching , socials, serving etc.
  • Going over What kinship is with new people.
  • Respecting the time limits of the evening.
  • Identifying, encouraging and drawing on the skills & gifting of the people you have.

iv.Planning ahead and being reflective

We suggest that teams aim to meet together every six weeks. This time can be spent praying for the group as a whole, planning ahead and discussing outreach and social events. Also, it’s good for teams to get into the habit of being reflective about how things are going. What is going well? What can be improved?

Worship Leader

  • Have I set aside sufficient time to practise?
  • How well did songs flow together last week?
  • Am I leading the people into the presence of God?
  • What has my own worship life been like recently?

Host

  • Do people make themselves at home or expect to be entertained? Is it difficult to get them to leave?
  • Has eating been a major part of a meeting in the last few weeks?
  • Are we/others meeting socially outside of kinship meetings?
  • Is everyone comfortable? Is anyone feeling left out?

Facilitator

  • Are we praying regularly as a team?
  • Do I feel valued as a member of the team? Have I expressed my appreciation
  • of the other team members recently?
  • How can we gather and assimilate new people? What is our goal for reproduction of this kinship?
  • Are we having a real meeting with God and each other? Which are the strongest/weakest aspects of the group? What can be done to strengthen the weaker areas?
  • Who are the potential leaders in the group? Are we providing opportunities
    to try out their gifts?
  • Are we following up people?

Most importantly …are we enjoying our times together?

This check list can often be a good discussion opener for kinship team meetings:

Often / Sometimes / Occasionally/
Never
  1. We are to be kind to one another (Eph4:32)

  1. We are to be tender-hearted to one another (Eph4:32)

  1. We are to be forgiving of one another (Eph4:32)

  1. We are to confess our sins to one another (Jam5:16)

  1. We are to pray for one another (Jam5:16)

  1. We are to bear one another's burdens (Gal6:2)

  1. We are to practise hospitality towards one another (1 Pet4:9)

  1. We are to stir up one another to love and good works (Heb10:24)

  1. We are to encourage one another (Heb10:25)

  1. We are to submit to one another (Eph5:21)

3.What style of leadership?

These are the qualities we are looking for in our leaders:

Servanthood (Mark10:41-45)

Jesus is our model.

We are aiming to grow more like Jesus and we are looking for team members who are also seeking to cultivate these things in their lives.

What is servant leadership?

Read John 13:1-17

Relational(v1)

Jesus belonged with the Father, and to the disciples. He poured his life into them. He cared, nurtured, loved. He showed Relationship not Rulership.

Personal(v3)

Jesus showed intimacy with the Father. The foundation for ministry is knowing the Father's affection.

Functional(v4-5)

Leadership in the Vineyard is functional not positional. Jesus demonstrated leadership not demanded it. Do it first, then it's recognised. Leadership is not in a title.

Directional(v6-11)

Jesus was firm in the face of resistance. He was committed to the vision. He was a God pleaser, NOT a man pleaser. Nothing side tracked him from what God was doing.

Inspirational(v15)

Jesus leads by example.

Teachability

The heart of a disciple is an attitude of learning. It’s good to view difficulties and problems as opportunities for growth. Commit to being a life long learner.

(Is50:4-5; Heb5:7-9)

Character & gifting

Both are needed but the emphasis is laid upon character

Paul’s description of an elder: self-control, gentleness, not a lover of money - like Jesus. Development of character has a lot to do with choices we make. God looks at the heart. (e.g. 1 Tim3:2-7; 8-13.)

Gifting is given - character is grown

Fruit takes time to grow. Character develops as we are consistent in our walk with Jesus. Gifts are freely given and not a gauge by which to judge maturity.

The fruit that the Spirit of Jesus produces

Love, peace, patience … these grow and develop as we co-work with God.(Gal5:2223)

Therefore sow to the Spirit rather than the flesh

“The one who sows to please the spirit will reap eternal life.” (Gal6:7-10).
What do we sow?

Humility (Phil2:5-11 cf. Matt23:11-12)

Definition

Forgetting yourself in serving others. Not over or under estimating yourself. Seeing what God says about you and agreeing.

A way to receive God’s support rather than opposition! (James 4:6)

This allows us to dream big dreams without getting a big head.

God has any number of ways of keeping us humble and therefore pleasing and productive:

Unfair criticism. How do I respond?

Making mistakes. It’s okay; just learn from them.

Problems that arise that can ONLY be solved by prayer

People will test us. They watch our lives & frustrate our plans!

Having a vision only God can fulfil. The margin between what God demands and what can humanly be achieved is impossible, except through God’s help.

Wisdom (Luke2:52)

The benefits of wisdom (Prov3)

Eph1:17 Know him; Prov3: 5-6 Right choices.

The provision of wisdom

God’s desire is to give:

A grace we can grow in (Prov1:1-7)

A gift we can ask for (James1:5)

A cheerful giver (2 Cor 9:7)

Recognising all we have belongs to God

Consistent tithing of income

We believe that there is a scriptural basis for tithing & expect those in leadership positions to take a lead in this.

Able to train others

Jesus and the Twelve is a case study in effective training

  • He was their role model
  • Taught and showed them the values
  • Demonstrated ministry
  • Got them to do it with him
  • Sent them to do it on their own
  • Evaluated it with them

People need to be needed

We all need to know our significance & value. How can we help people feel valued?

Draw people in to help and serve

Jesus let people in on the action

We all get to play!

4.Our Shared Values

i.Kinship values

Our kinships are built around the values of our church. They are the hidden characteristics of who we are and they affect how we do things.

They are born out of a relationship with God

They aren’t a set of rules! Being like Jesus takes time to develop in our lives.

They are who we seek and desire to be

They act as red and green lights controlling the manner in which we do things

We don’t judge people – that’s God’s job. Which means that kinship is sometimes messy as people come towards us to sort out their stuff.

They are non negotiable

They are vital and biblical – and it’s who we are!

They are more often caught than taught

You grow to be like those you spend time with. When you experience mercy or forgiveness you want to treat others like that.

ii.Helping others to absorb these values

(1 Cor 4: 15 – 17)

It begins with the leaders

At first, some of these values need to be steps of faith in our own lives as we allow Jesus to change and soften us.

Take people along with you by modelling the values in all that you do

What a challenge! Self disclosure, personal growth, non-manipulative, honest, open and fun.

Don’t be afraid to continually reinforce the values by clear explanation

This is especially helpful as you have new people joining your group.

Cartoon 1. Ministry L Plates

iii.Ministry time

One of the most important things that John Wimber brought was a model for healing that gave the ministry back to the people. How we introduce it to people, how we model it week by week, how it reflects our values, is all so important.

Aims

Work with what the Father is doing

Jn 5:19 - Jesus only did what the Father was doing.

Jn 15:26 - The Holy Spirit will be our counsellor.

We want God's Kingdom to come

The Lord’s Prayer: ‘Your kingdom come’.

Model gifts and mercy (See cartoon on pg17 - Ministry L Plates!)

People should end up feeling loved by God.

Review of the 5-step model

Interview

Be brief – not a life history!

Root cause

Listen to God: physical, emotional, spiritual, demonic cause.

Prayer

Different ways of praying: speak to the pain.

Assessment

Ask how it feels.

Follow-up

Medication: keep taking the tablets, but visit the doctor to show him what God has done.

Cartoon 2. Powerful anointing

Practicalities

Time

Not rushed. We need to honour the Holy Spirit by giving himspace. Not always at the end of the meeting. Don’t minister long into the night. Remember the availability of Small Ministry Teams (SMT) for longer term prayer needs.

Explanation

Remember that this will be very new (and maybe quite strange) to some people. Take time to explain. And show them the activity of the Holy Spirit – hence the need to pray with your eyes open!

Different ways

In pairs, but not usually spouse/relatives.

Threes & fours.

Men & women – sometime separate, but also mixed.

Whole Group

Praying Come Holy Spirit – and follow up what the Spirit does.

Word of knowledge

Pray into words and pictures that the group might have.

Some safeguards

  • Don’t pray on your own with members of the opposite sex.
  • Don’t give directive words e.g. about marriage, babies, or their future.
  • Beware of unhealthy or unsuitable attachments, especially to you as a leader. We are always in the business of pointing people towards God.
  • Do model our values in all ministry situations.

Confidence