Social Media and Romantic Relationships

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SOCIAL MEDIA RELATIONSHIPS

Social Media and Romantic Relationships

Jessica Maynard

University of Kentucky

Abstract

The following paper explores the impact that computer mediated communication has had on romantic relationships and communication. More specifically, it examines the effects of computer-mediated communication through social media. Social media has changed the way we interact with each other and it has also changed the way we interact in relationships. It reviews the studies that have been done and explains how social media has affected our views on relationships and it changes the way we communicate with our partners. Social media has created increased jealousy in relationships and has even decreased trust in many relationships. Without social media, many partners wouldn’t have anyway of knowing the things that are shared. Some may say that social media has created a way for partners to keep up with each other and others would say that it is negative for relationships. Is social media a problem for couples? Many studies have shown this and this paper will analyze the different theories involving social media and relationships.

Keywords: Social Media, Facebook, Relationships, Computer Mediated Communication (CMC)

Social Media and Romantic Relationships

Computer mediated communication in the form of social media is everywhere we turn. It has evolved into a part of our everyday lives. We have it on our phones, computers, and there is now technology in vehicles that keeps you connected. You can always be informed and know what others are doing and even thinking. With the constant access to social media one can constantly look at their partners social media page. They can receive notifications of when their partner checks into a place or updates a status. Essentially, you’re communicating with you’re partner without directly contacting them. This can be either good or bad for relationships. Studies have shown that this can cause an increase in jealousy in the relationship. An increase in jealously can change the way you interact with your partner. Social media has made it possible to know more about our partners than ever before. With increased social media usage there is also an increased chance to complicate relationships. (Elphinston, 2011) Elphinston also says that because we have so much access to social media, individuals may become attached to the social media. This may cause partners to become jealous over the attachment to the social media, hence causing problems in the relationship.

Tara Marshall explains how anxiety is associated with increased Facebook surveillance in Attachment Styles as predictors of Facebook-related jealousy and surveillance in romantic relationships. (2013) The access to social media such as Facebook creates an increased anxiety and surveillance of the social media page. The study found that this resulted in lower trust of the partner and increased jealously. As Elphinston explained how one could become attached to social media, Marshall is essentially saying that the anxiety of wanting to know check up on our partners can create an attachment to the surveillance. Because of the anxiety felt with this, anything that is seen on the page can quickly escalate into more than what it actually is. This then has a great affect on the relationship and the way partners communicate.

Even though the anxiety heightens emotions and can allow one to make something out of nothing, there are cases where the anxiety and jealousy felt is because of a real problem within the relationship involving computer-mediated communication. In The Impact of Internet Technologies on Primary and Secondary Romantic Relationship Development by Pauley and Emmers-Sommers (2007) tells us how individuals who are involved in a face-to-face or primary relationship use computer-mediated communication to develop a secondary relationship. The secondary relationship developed can then increase jealousy and create bigger issues in the primary relationship. As Elphinston explained how individuals become attached to social media, the attachment explains how a secondary relationship is formed. The attachment to the secondary relationship through social media creates jealousy with the romantic partner. Adler and Procter (2011) tell us that intimacy may develop more quickly through computer mediated communication channels. (p.310) The attachment, and intimacy involved with the secondary relationship can greatly affect the primary relationship and in the end cause the relationship to dissolve.

Since the creation of social media, studies have been published to describe the impact it has had. Many studies have also been published that describe the impact social media has had on romantic relationships. Facebook, being the largest social networking site, has had the most studies published on this particular subject. Many of the studies relate to each other in many ways and have common factors. The studies show that there is a relationship between romantic relationship satisfaction and Facebook use.

When it comes to social media and relationships there is one important feature that can be considered a big step in relationships. Becoming Facebook official means everyone can see the relationship. Some people consider this a big step in the relationship and to others it’s not important. Being Facebook official can mean different things to different people. It can serve as a form of security for some and it can be used as a tool to link two people together on a different level. It can mean many different things for individuals but what does it really mean for the relationship? Since 2004 with the creation of Facebook, social media has had a huge impact on romantic relationships.

In a study completed by Lauren Papp (2012) on the implication of dating partners Facebook use, she says, “Facebook is paradoxically linked with both improvements and dissatisfaction in relationships.” Her study finds that partner profile choice such as displaying the partner in a profile picture or creating a status can play an overall role in the functioning of the relationship. (2012) Profile partner choices are another way of communicating with everyone about the relationship you’re in. It can also be thought of as a way of claiming ownership. Adler and Procter tell us “Facebooking, and so on, enhance verbal, emotional, and social intimacy”. Posting pictures and making wall posts that include the primary partner can increase intimacy and improve the relationship. Using Facebook and other social media sites in this manner is just another way of communicating how much you care for your partner and how serious the romantic relationship is.

Papp explains that there can be improvements and dissatisfaction within the relationship due to Facebook use. Matthew Hand tells us that there is a negative relationship between intimacy and the way social media is perceived by partners in the relationship. (2013) Hand goes on to uncover that intimacy mediates the relationship between social media use and the overall relationship satisfaction. Essentially, the way social media use is perceived in a relationship affects intimacy and the satisfaction within the relationship. If social media use is perceived as high there is a negative effect on relationship intimacy. This ties into Papp’s theory of improvement and satisfaction within a relationship. The way social media is perceived determined the overall satisfaction in the relationship.

Conclusion

The article discussed shared one major limitation. Although social media has been popular for almost ten years, most of the research has involved young adults in committed relationships. We know the research applies to a specific age group but we don’t have research that explains the overall effect. Another shared limitation is that the research is fairly new. Social media is growing daily and with that the research on this subject will also grow.

Due to the limitations above, future research should explore all age groups and types of social media. People of all ages and people in all levels of relationships use social media. It would be interesting to see if the length of relationships altered the results of the findings above. It would also be interesting to see how a period of inactivity with social media affects relationships. This way we could compare the interaction in the relationships when social media is being used and when it isn’t.

The articles discussed above explain the theories of the different effects of social media on romantic relationships. In summary, social media has an impact on romantic relationships. Those impacts can be positive, negative, or both. The addiction to social media and the constant access can increase anxiety and jealously within a relationship. With social media there is an opportunity for one to form a secondary relationship in which they can self disclose and share different information than which they would in the primary relationship. The secondary relationship can just as personal as the face-to-face relationship and intimacy can also develop in the secondary relationship. The anxiety and jealously brought on my social media can also be controlled by using profile partner choices. The improvements and dissatisfaction in the romantic relationships are determined by the perception of social media and it’s role in the relationship.

RQ1: What effect does long periods of inactivity have on romantic relationships? Does partner interaction change at all? Is the intimacy level increased in the relationship?

RQ2: Does the length of a relationship correlate to the effect social media have on it? Is it the same for newly formed relationships and long term relationships?

References

Adler, R. B., & Procter II, R. F. (2011). Looking Out, Looking In, (13 ed.). Boston: Wadsworth/Cengage Learning. ISBN: 0-495-83335-5.

Elphinston, R. A., & Noller, P. (2011). Time to Face It! Facebook Intrusion and the Implications for Romantic Jealousy and Relationship Satisfaction. Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, 14(11), 631-635.

Hand, M. M., Thomas, D., Buboltz, W. C., Deemer, E. D., & Buyanjargal, M. (2013). Facebook and Romantic Relationships: Intimacy and Couple Satisfaction Associated with Online Social Network Use. Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, 16(1), 8-13.

Marshall, T. C., Bejanyan, K., Di Castro, G., & Lee, R. A. (2013). Attachment styles as predictors of Facebook-related jealousy and surveillance in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 20(1), 1-22.

Papp, L. M., Danielewicz, J., & Cayemberg, C. (2012). 'Are We Facebook Official?' Implications of Dating Partners' Facebook Use and Profiles for Intimate Relationship Satisfaction. Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, 15(2), 85-90.

Pauley, P. M., & Emmers-Sommer, T. M. (2007). The Impact of Internet Technologies on

Primary and Secondary Romantic Relationship Development. Communication Studies, 58(4), 411-427.