Tongue Proverbs
I. Introduction: Two Ways of Life
A. Control the Tongue
1. The Fool
2. Guard Your Tongue
B. Marks of Foolish Speech
1. Cutting Words
2. Gossip
C. Marks of Wise Speech
1. Life Giving
2. Gentle, Conciliatory
3. Persuasive
4. Timely
5. Truthful
II. Helpful Suggestions
Speech is second only to wisdom itself in Proverbs
So many statements that I couldn’t pick them all.
The obviousl point is that how you speak will make or break your life.
Learning to speak wisely is huge
The power of our words
The character of our words
The healing of our words
The power
1. 12:18 power to wound
Reckless words pierce like a sword.
It has so much power that it can’t be remedied. It can never be like it was.
Its damaging. Its been uttered and cant be taken back.
You can pull out the sword but the wound is still there.
Rash statements that take away your credibility.
Rash reckless criticisms.
Parents
18:21 Tongue has power of life and death.
Words can not only wound, they can kill.
The word life in Hebrew has three different aspects
Physical
Inner life (psychological)
Social or community (communal life)\
Words can literally kill people. Words are the cause of death. People kill themselves because of what people say to them
They kill psychologically too. Words name things. Name him dull or stupid or worthless. This pollution destroys
Kill community
16:28, perverse man stirs up dissension and gossip destroys community
what makes a lie so destructive is that it immediately destroys what we need so much—relationship. You have hid some of reality from them and they put up a barrier. We need relationship and it keeps us from it
words not only have power over listener but over the speaker too.
12:an evil man is trapped by his sinul talk
From the fruit of his lips a man is …
Good words are like fruit.
James 3 says we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone doesn’t stumble in what he says, he is perfect able to bridle the whole body. Look at a ships rudder…
Words have power in your life negatively and positively
Negatively. Words clothe your thoughts. If you say I hate you, you felt it, then you feel it more after you say it. It strengthens the thought.
So maybe you shouldn’t express it. But Provebs says he who conceals it…
Why is language so powerful?
The answer is 18:21 tongue has the power of life and those who love it will eat its fruit.
We have a need for words. They are like air, water, etc. There is a word hunger in us. We need them to live.
Need words from inside—we must express ourselves. Something inside you want to put into words because you want to be known. You want others to understand. Its part of being human.
We cant live without words from the outside.
There is a popular psychology that says that it doesn’t matter what others say about you. The problem is that doesn’t work
Suppose you are an artist and everyone who has seen your art for 5 years thinks it is useless. You should probably give up. Someone needs to say you are an artist. Music is a good example.
We need words from the outside, to affirm us
The worst possible thing is the silent treatment.
We need words desperately. Augustine says that from eternity the Trinity has been communicating. The Trinity knows how to perfectly express himself. We long for this as well.
God speaks things into existence.
We do create things by our words.
The Bible tells us what kind of speech to receive and to give.
Characteristic of these words that we desperately need
These are very discouraging, because if you look at your words just from today and you reexamine
1. truthful honest speech rather than deceptiveness
2. Kind and gentle speech rather than harshness
3. wise and apt speech rather than carelessness
4. Forthright and courageous rather than gossip
5. Economical speech rather than impulsiveness
1. Truthful speech, honest, not deceptive.
12:17 truthful witness gives honest
15:4 deceitful tongue crushes the spirit
Technical truth, but deception. Deception is denying someones right to know reality. This destroys community and it ruins their ability to make decisions. The less reality we have the more destructive we are.
Societies that you cant believe what they are saying in advertising or politics fall apart
2. Gentle an dkind language
15:1 gentle answer turns away wrath, a harsh word
Gentle—does this mean sensitive, namby pamby.
Through patience a … can be persuaded
Breaking a bone… means breaking down the most hard and stubborn refusal.
Gentle speech is
Harsh is inflicting pain.
Our language is motivated not to prove that they are wrong and not to put them in their place. Your motivation should be love.
In tone, motivation, kind. Even though its bone breaking truth.
If someone can tell it is painful for you to say it but its so important that you must say it, they will listen.
This is gentleness.
If you slam someone you may win the battle, but you lose the person
3. Wise and apt
10:32 Lips of the righteous know what is fitting (delightful). You chose you words to fit the sensibilities of the listener
aptly spoken is like setting in apples of gold
Word may be true, but it is at the wrong time. Its not apt.
Honest answer is like a kiss on the lips
Kiss on the lips only shows up here.
Herodotus says a man meeting the other is seen if they are equal. They kiss on the lips. A small difference is one kissing the cheek. Great difference requires bowing.
Responsibility of the communicater to figure out how to get the truth across best
Husband comes from a family where communication was indirect. Lots of hinting, …
Wife, people in her family just blurt it out and altercation is quick and over.
Now the husbamd uses his communication patterns with wife.
She says, I had no idea you felt that way. But he told her. The problem is he didn’t find her lips. He hinted.
Other way around. Wife blurts out the problem and he is floored and sadly looks for adivorce lawyer, but she was just venting stuff.
You must do everything you can to make sure what you say is hearable.
4. Direct words
10:18 He who conceals his hatred has lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.
Don’t be a coward\
5. Economical
10:19 when words are many, sin is not absent.
Preachers don’t like this much.
I must consider whether my words are true, apt, direct, and gentle. So the more I say the harder it is to keep a check on these things.
17:28 Even a fool will seem wise if he is silent.
Balance, we must be careful and not always speaking, but speak enough.
We are in trouble. Because if your words are not like this and you aren’t getting words like this then you are dying. Most of us have a word famine, we cant listen or speak as we should. What are we going to do about it.
How can we do this right?
16:23 A wise mans heart guides his mouth.
Matthew 12 make a tree good and the fruit will be good, etc. It is out of what fills the heart, the mouth speaks.
It would be easy to take this list and say you should do this. I should just make this happen. I am going to watch my words and hold inventory. Will power isn’t enough. Just trying isn’t enough.
Ultimately the only thing to change the words is what fills your heart.
What is the heart. The heart is not the seed of the emotions. It’s the control center of the entire self. Its what you most hope in, what you most love, what gives you meaning, what you really look to for significance and security.
Its out of the overflow of that that all of our problems come.
Why do you lie? Why in the way you do.
When you live with each other you can tell the other is spinning and fudging on the truth.
Perhaps you spin the truth when you are afraid of hurting peoples feelings.
Others perhaps don’t care about people approval is
Every lie is because your heart is filled with something and that is your functional savior. That is what is most important to you.
Words flow from heart.
So what is the answer?
Acts 2, the first to be healed is their tongues. Their speech is effected. Theya re so eloquent that not even language is a barrier. They are perfectly expressed miraculously. The HS had filled their heart with something
This is the reversal of Gen 11 and Babel. Their hearts were filled with self glorification, so language didn’t work. Acts 2 it is redeemed because their hearts were filled with …Jesus.
John 7:46, no man spoke like Jesus. Never an unnecessary, unapt, unkind, untruthful word. But its more than thatl. He isn’t jut a good example of speaking
He is the word. He speaks finally through his son. Alpha and Omega, he is the whole dictionary, He is the only word that will satisfy the infitnite word hunger of our souls.
When Jesus Christ died on the cross, he got the ultimate silent treatment. Why are you forsaking me. Why aren’t you communicating? Cosmic silent treatment.
Why
We abuse each other with our language so much. WE deserve the silent treatment but he took it.
Now we can hear what God said to Jesus. You are my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. Romans 8:16 says that the spirit bears witness with ours that we are the children of God.
We can hear the one word from outside that we need. I am delighted in you.
If you really hear this, you don’t need to lie anymore, you don’t need to be harsh anymore.
Maybe you aren’t eloquent. So what?
Remember Hosanna, If they stop yelling, then the stones will cry out.
If Christ is in your life, your words will be kind, apt, beautiful…
Jonathan Edwards said the first job of a parent is to keep children from bad company.
Lady Wisdom has just and non perverse words
8:6 Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right.
7 My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness.
8 All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse.
9 To the discerning all of them are right; they are faultless to those who have knowledge.
Perverse
8:12 "I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence; I possess knowledge and discretion.
13 To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
14 Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have understanding and power.
Wicked are violent
10:6 Blessings crown the head of the righteous, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.
10:14 Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.
10:18 He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. 19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
21 The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.
Derides neighbor
11:12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
Gossip
11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Wicked peoples words
12:6 The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them.
Wicked destroys
11:11 Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.
Sinful
12:13 An evil man is trapped by his sinful talk, but a righteous man escapes trouble.
14 From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things as surely as the work of his hands rewards him.
Reckless
12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Kindness leads to cheer
12:25 An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Gentle turns away wrath
NIV Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Commends knowledge
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Spread knowledge
7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.
timely
23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word!
Just
16: 10 The lips of a king speak as an oracle, and his mouth should not betray justice
pleasant
16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Pride
7 Arrogant {7 Or Eloquent, (excellent speech NAS)} lips are unsuited to a fool-- how much worse lying lips to a ruler!
Foolish lips; gossip
18:6 A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating.
7 A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul.
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.
Power of the tongue
18:20 From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied.
21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Perverse
19:1 Better a poor man whose walk is blameless than a fool whose lips are perverse.
perverse
10:31 The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out.
10:32 The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.