So Then, Is There Common Ground? I Think So

(This writing assumes that you have read the other articles on spanking so that you are familiar with the issues involved in this disciplinary practice.)

You know, it really doesn’t matter what opinion I hold, does it? When it comes to spanking and other corporal punishments, no matter what your view, you probably see people of the other view as being wrong-headed. Neither side ever convinces the other of their belief. One’s culture, religious orientation, education, personal experiences, etc. greatly influence one’s appraisal of this practice. These ingrained personal beliefs are not easily changed.

So then, is there common ground? I think so.

If you belong to the group that believes that spanking is acceptable or mandatory, you no doubt would like to do it less often, right? You wish in your heart of hearts that your kids would behave better so that you and they could continue to have smiles on your faces.

How then do we achieve the goal of lessened frequency? We do so by strengthening our parenting skills; those ways that promote appropriate behavior so that there is less need to engage in correction of inappropriate behavior. When correction is necessary, we teach appropriate behavior (Remember: Teaching is more than telling… or yelling. We actually teach!) With a few simple, easily implemented techniques, things change drastically for the better. With some study, the perceived need disappears altogether, or nearly so. You can, quite easily, reduce the number of times that you feel the need to use physicality with your kids.

So… given the common ground in thought, how do we actually become masterful in guiding our children with positivity?

Let’s start out with easy and entertaining approaches:

1. Pick up one of the books recommended on the parent page of BehaviorAdvisor.com A classic is the one by Faber & Maslish. It uses cartoons and easy reading to give you “Let’s try this idea next time.” strategies for addressing problem behaviors.

2. Yes it sounds self-serving, but my video podcasts are the best thing available for using positivity in parenting. You can find out more about them at:

So when you think that your child is hankering for a spankering, pause for a moment and pledge to pick up one of the above-mentioned resources… just so you don’t have to do it so often.

Source: