How to Solve Any Problem

Module 2

What Do You Really Want?

What you should have right now is your problem that was written down for 10 minutes on a sheet of paper. You should have separated out the facts from the problems and separated your thoughts.

SOMETHING TO BE FASCINATED AND CURIOUS ABOUT

At this point, you might be a little overwhelmed with the amount of negative thinking that you have about your problem. It's okay. This is not a time to start beating yourself up or getting angry about how you're thinking about something. It's just something that you want to be fascinated and curious about.

SUM IT UP WITH A ONE WORD FEELING

In this module, we're going to talk about what it is you really want. Most things are problems because they are not giving us something we really want. So when you think about what it is you really want, you can always sum it up with one word feeling.

BECAUSE OF HOW YOU THINK YOU WILL FEEL

If you think about anything you want in the world:

  • You want more money.
  • You want to be thinner.
  • You want to have Maserati.
  • You want to have a different job.
  • You want to have a successful business.

The reason why you want any of those things is because of how you think you will feel in getting them. The same goes for things you don't want, namely the problems in your life. The reason why you don't want those things in your life is because of how you believe they make you feel.

YOUR THINKING CAUSES YOUR EMOTIONS

But remember from Module 1, the only thing that causes our emotions is our thinking. For every emotion that we have, there is a thought causing it. When you think about a problem, you are the one creating all the negative emotion. Your thinking is the problem and when you think about things that you really want instead of the problem and you feel better, it's your thinking about the solution to the problem that is making you feel better. This module is all about you understanding that you are the one creating your emotions and you don't have to get to anything or get rid of anything in order to feel better.

HOW ARE THOSE THOUGHTS MAKING YOU FEEL?

Look at your current problem and look at all the thoughts you have about it. Ask yourself how those thoughts are making you feel. When you think in a way that you are choosing to think about it, that’s on you. Some of you may ask, "Why are you blaming me for how I feel?" But this is about empowerment. If you're the one in charge of how you're feeling, then you can be the one in charge of changing it. You don't have to fix the problem.

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO BE FEELING

If you can fix the problem, it makes it easier. But a lot of times, you can't change the circumstances of the problem. However, you can change the way you are thinking about it. Look at the way you are thinking about it and notice how that is making you feel. Then think about what you really want to be feeling. Don't change the problem at all but just think: “If I could be feeling anything I want right now with this problem still there, how would I want to feel?” That feeling is available to you if you choose to change the way you're thinking about it.

MANAGE YOUR MIND AROUND ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS

After that, you can start exploring. You can ask: "How could I think about this problem differently in order to feel differently about it?" Learn the skill of managing your mind around anything that happens in the world. When you can change the way you are looking at something, you can usually change the way you are feeling about it.

THINKING NEW THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SAME PROBLEM

Changing feelings happens when most people have a problem when calling their best friend and they give them a different perspective or a different way of looking at it. They hang up the phone and wonder why it feels so much better having talked to them.What’s really happening is that they are thinking new thoughts about the same problem. That, in turn, creates a different emotion.

This module is all about deciding how do you want to feel and really generating the thinking that could produce that feeling for you. Open up your workbook to Module 2. Read through that whole section and make sure you do the exercises.