This classic vow of lifelong commitment, often quoted at weddings, serves as a prototype for interpersonal connectedness and the linking of our lives with others in meaningful relationship. In traditional Biblical language it sounds like this:
“Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.”
The origin of this famous vow is the Old Testament book of Ruth 1:16-17. It involves not a married couple, but an old woman and her daughter-in-law.
Once upon a timethere was a famine in Israel. A man from Bethlehem left home to live in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. They all went to the country of Moab and settled there.
The man died and his wife Naomi was left with her two sons. The sons took Moabite wives, and they lived there in Moab for the next ten years. But then the two brothers died. Now Naomi was left without either her young men or her husband. [Note: Foreign women were particularly vulnerable in that culture, and she was destined to a life of poverty and loneliness.]
One day she got herself together, she and her two daughters-in-law, to leave the country of Moab and set out for home. So she started out from the place she had been living, she and her two daughters-in-law with her, on the road back to the land of Judah.
After a short while on the road, Naomi told her two daughters-in-law, "Go back. Go home and live with your mothers. And may God treat you as graciously as you treated your deceased husbands and me. May God give each of you a new home and a new husband." She kissed them and they cried openly. [Note: In their home culture, they would have the benefit of extended family support and would likely remarry. If they followed Naomi to the land of Israel, they would be viewed as foreigners and probably live in poverty. In addition, the trip itself was dangerous for the women and might end in calamity for all of them.]
They said, "No, we're going on with you to your people." But Naomi was firm: "Go back, my dear daughters. Why would you come with me? Go back, dear daughters—on your way, please!" Again they cried openly. Finally, one of the girls kissed her mother-in-law good-bye; but Ruth embraced her and held on. Naomi said, "Look, your sister-in-law is going back home to live with her own people and gods; go with her."
But Ruth said, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!"
When Naomi saw that Ruth had her heart set on going with her, she gave in, and so the two of them traveled on together to Bethlehem.