The Heart of Feelings
The Heart of Feelings
Galatians 5:16-26
Rev. Min J. Chung
(Friday Night Large Group, February 19, 2003)
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:16-26, NIV
Introduction
This isnt a straight exposition of this passage; its a topical message. This semester Im talking about issues of the heart; tonight Ill talk about the heart of feelings. Feelings, nothing more than feelings. J Why are feelings important? I think this culture gives such authority to feelings. As a result, personally we often put a lot of thought into how or what we feel. In fact, our feelings have become the basis of much of the decision-making in our lives. Why did you do that? Because I felt like doing it. A lot of times, feelings become the basis of your counseling. Well, what do you feel like doing about it? Whether were giving counsel or receiving it, we value what we feel. Or consider statements like this: I dont feel the love I used to have for my [blank], so you make that phone call of rejection. I dont feel the love I used to for my spouse, so you get a divorce. I dont feel the connection I used to have with my friend, so you cut off the friendship. Or you say, I dont feel like reading the Bible, so you dont read it. I dont feel like going to church. Or you might say, I feel so lonely. You do all kinds of things based on your feelings. If youre spiritual, you might say, I feel so led to do this, and then you do whatever you want. I feel so led to punch you. We have different definitions for the word feeling.
Feelings are often the basis of our decision-making, even as Christians. Emotions are an indicator, but do not necessarily need to be a determining factor in our decisions. Well learn about feelings tonight. First, Ill talk about the language of feelings. Second, Ill discuss the anatomy of feelings. Third, Ill give you some practical suggestions.
I. The Language of Feelings
A. What does the word feeling mean? Another word for feeling is emotion, but Ill use the word feeling. We use the word in different ways.
1. Feelings communicate our thoughts
a) When you say, I feel offended by my boss, youre communicating some kind of perception of the situation with your boss. Your perception might not be true objectively, but its your perception. When you say, I feel [blank], you may be communicating what you think about a situation. Or it might be your belief about something, such as I feel that this is correct.
2. Feelings communicate our emotions
a) I feel angry. Youre really expressing an emotion. For example, you feel certain emotions when you want to kick a garbage can, or right before an exam when you have that lower-stomach-feeling of anxiety. I feel depressed. Youre talking about your emotion. I feel happy. I feel affection. For some reason you feel affectionate toward some and not toward others, and you make decisions based on those feelings. I would like to spend more time with this person but not with that person. Feelings communicate our emotions: fearful, guilty, thankful, excited, sad, bored, amazed (I cant believe God uses that person!), impressed (Wow! Like after watching a Jordan video), satisfied (like after you eat a good meal).
3. Feelings communicate our desires
a) I feel like eating pizza. This is not really about your perception of something. Its a little bit about your emotions, but this is deeper. I feel like pizza tonight. I feel like punching you. I feel like squeezing your cheeks. When you say, I feel like [blank], youre usually talking about your sinful desire. I dont feel like going to church. I feel like doing whatever I want today. But we shouldnt make decisions based on those types of feelings.
B. So what is the definition of the word feeling? A feeling is something we experience inside that indicates what we love. You get emotional about what you love. You dont get emotional about what isnt related to what you love. Feelings indicate the deepest desires of your heart. When you get emotional, it might not be immediately obvious to you, but something that you cherish in your heart is involved. You might want respect. So if youre disrespected, you get angry. You might get emotional about people close to you, family or close friends. In this case, only friends can get you mad, not strangers. You might get emotional if anyone dislikes you. You might get emotional about a standard that you have or if someone isnt keeping the law or the rules or theyre not doing it in the way it ought to be done. Some people get upset about this thing and others get upset about that thing. Some people get upset about what you get upset about while others get upset about things you dont get upset about. Emotions indicate what we love and we all have different things that we love. Emotions are very important. They shouldnt determine what you do, but they can help you to understand what you are like so you can make right decisions in your life.
II. The Anatomy of Feelings
A. Every person has emotions. God is emotional because Hes a person. Because Hes holy, all His emotions are godly. If Hes sad, its because were doing something that is not good for us. If Hes happy, something is happening that is good for us. Man is more complicated than that, in terms of emotion. A Christian has both godly and evil feelings. Lets take a look at this picture.
B. As Galatians tells us, we have a nature and desires inside our heart. Our nature is the basis of who we are. Every human being has a sinful nature. Our sinful nature wants to be God, which is expressed through our selfish desires. As you learn about in the heart motives class, there are four base sinful desires. Now, if youre a Christian, there is another nature in your heart, the Spirits nature. The Spirits nature also expresses itself through its desires, the Spirits desires. So when Galatians 5:16 says, So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature, the passage is describing the sinful desires of our heart (which are the expression of our sinful nature). Your Spirits nature desires good things, like wanting to worship God and pray to Him. Your sinful nature wants to sin, as this passage describes: The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft, etc. Even though we are Christian, we still sin because we still have a sinful nature. But as we mature, our Spirits nature overcomes our sinful nature and we become more like Christ. Our Spirits nature expresses itself in a desire to exalt and serve Christ. At the same time, our sinful nature expresses itself in a desire to exalt ourselves, even in our good activities.
C. Feelings indicate what we love. Our sinful nature expresses itself in sinful desires, which in turn result in sinful feelings. We love certain things sinfully. When we get those things, we have sinful feelings.
D. When we get something we love, our mind perceives it. If our perception of it is good, we feel good. If our perception is bad, we feel bad.
E. This leads to certain behavior to try to continue to get it.
F. There is also the Spirits nature. The Spirits nature, which expresses itself in desires, has feelings, too. When you grow spiritually, hear the Word of God, etc., your mind perceives it and you have good feelings. When you sin, you have bad feelings.
G. Your thoughts and behavior are related to your feelings. Your mind perceives whether or not youre getting what you want, and you make adjustments through your thoughts and behavior. For example, lets say you had a bad day at work. You didnt get what you wanted, so you feel badsinfully. So what do you do? You come home and make an adjustment. You might play a video game because of your desire to be exalted. Or if you desire love, you might call your mom or a close friend. If youre someone who is driven by certain standards, you might clean the house (at least youre succeeding at something). If youre someone who desires to be liked by people, you might come home and eat candy (because snacking gives you the pleasure that you did not get from being liked by people).
H. You have both negative and positive feelings. When you have negative feelings you make adjustments to remove those feelings. When you have positive feelings, you become addicted to what causes those feelings. You can also have positive and negative feelings that come from your Spirits nature. You make adjustments for those feelings, as well. If you have negative feelings from your Spirits nature, they are indicators of sin. So when you have negative feelings from your Spirits nature, you should repent, pray, and have accountability. Lets say you have a bad feeling thats coming from your Spirits nature. Youve been coming to Friday Night Large Group for a few weeks, but youre apathetic. You just dont care. So you feel bad and because of your feelings, your mind perceives certain things. Im supposed to worship God and have passion for Him. Im supposed to desire to serve others. Why am I apathetic? So you make some adjustments. I must pray more. I must remember the first time I became a Christian, every time I looked at the cross or thought about Christ I used to be so emotional. Now Im so divided. I have to focus. If youre tempted by certain things, you must make some adjustments according to your Spirits nature. I really need to focus on the Word of God and not be divided. I must watch less TV, because it puts bad thoughts into my mind. I must get some accountability and make sure they ask me if Im having these bad thoughts. You can make adjustments, depending on your feelings. You can tell if you have positive or negative feelings, according to your sinful nature or the Spirits nature.
III. Practical Suggestions about Feelings
A. Analyze the source of your feelings
1. If youre happy, ask yourself why. Are you sinfully happy or are you spiritually happy? When you feel bad, is it from your sinful nature or the Spirits nature? For example, if youre feeling bad because youre not going in the right spiritual direction, its from the Spirit. Analyze the source of your feelings. Just because youre happy doesnt mean that youre doing spiritually well. (Maybe you are happy because you are getting what you want sinfully). And sometimes you can be doing the right things, but feel terrible. If thats the case, you should keep going in that direction and eventually your feelings will change.
2. When we analyze our feelings, we must remember that its complicated because we can have a mixture of feelings. We are always people of mixed emotions. Think about certain combinations of feelings.
a) Bad-bad
(1) Lets say youre doing some spiritual activity. For you, it might be serving your small group or praying for someone. Ill use preaching as an example. Lets say I preach and afterwards I feel terrible. So think about why. Maybe I really wasnt faithful in preparing. It was a bad message; there was no response; everybody fell asleep. In my sinful nature, I desire respect when I preach. That didnt happen so I feel bad. On the other hand, my Spirits nature desires for the Word of God to go into peoples hearts and help them to love God more. That didnt happen either, so I feel bad. Thats a bad-bad combination. If its a bad-bad combination, thats when youre miserable.
b) Bad-good
(1) How about this combination? After you did your spiritual work, you feel bad spiritually but sinfully you feel good. What that means is you really did it for yourself. You did it to be noticed by everyone or for some other selfish reason. Everyone was happy with you but you feel empty inside. The Spirit is telling you that something is wrong. If its a bad-good combination, thats when you feel guilty.
c) Good-bad
(1) Lets say you do a spiritual work and you feel good spiritually but bad sinfully. For example, lets say Im playing basketball. Its toward the end of the game and I just barely miss a ball going out of bounds. I decide to be honest and say, The ball touched my fingertips. Its your ball. And we lose because of it! I feel terrible, because sinfully I want to win! But because I was honest, in my Spirits nature, I feel thankful. It takes some time to get there, but I work through it and think about it and say, I want to love the Lord. I should tell the truth. It takes time, but eventually I feel thankful that I obeyed. If its a spiritually good-sinfully bad combination, Im thankful because I did the right thing.
d) Good-good
(1) There are times that you do a spiritual work and afterwards you feel good about it spiritually and good sinfully. So lets say I preach. Everybody stays awake. Afterwards, everyone says, Pastor Min, that sermon changed my life. I get a hundred phone calls at my house from people saying the same thing. (Please dont do that. J) I would probably feel very respectedsinfully good. But Im also so thankful that the kingdom of God was expanded through the Word of God that was preached. If its good-good, thats when you feel really good.
3. If its good-good, you feel really good. If its bad-bad, thats when youre miserable. If its good-bad, thats when you gotta think. When that happens you need to constantly give glory to the Lord. When you feel bad, repent of your evil heart and continue to do the right things. You have to analyze the source of your feelings. Dont just act on your feelings, but analyze them. Are they positive or negative, from your sinful nature or the Spirits nature?
B. Deal with your feelings appropriately
1. Ask yourself a few questions. Is this feeling legitimate? Is it biblical? Unbiblical? Sinful? Spiritual? Its always a mixture of both. Be really cautious of your thoughts and feelings. For example, certain people try to say that you shouldnt get too emotional. Some of you have been in retreats when its really emotional. Music is playing in the background and youre really emotional and then someone goes up and says, Dont get too emotional. There is no such thing as getting too emotional. Rather, you should be rightly emotional. We should get really emotional for the Lord, as long as our feelings are from the Spirits nature and out of genuine love for Him. During Lent, when you fast from certain things that divides your heart, by the time Easter comes around, you are so emotional about the Lord. During a long-term fast, when I think about Jesus and fix my eyes on Him and read the Word of God, its so much easier for me to get emotional about Him.
2. Be careful of your thoughts and feelings. Do you see the double arrows on the diagram? That means that your sinful nature and desires affect your feelings, thoughts, and behavior, but your thoughts, behavior, and feelings can affect your sinful nature and desires as well. Its also true for your Spirits nature. If you keep thinking about and doing certain things, it can affect your sinful or Spirits nature. So you have to really be cautious about what you think and feel. How do you deal with your feelings? When you come home after small group and feel depressed, how do you deal with it? When you come home after Valentines Day and feel lonely, how do you deal with it? Let me tell you, most of you immediately go to your sinful addictions. It could be drugs, TV, video or computer games, or the telephone. We make sinful adjustments according to our feelings to get what we want. This happens without us even realizing it. How do you deal with your negative emotions? How do you deal with your positive emotions? Do you glorify God? What kinds of adjustments do you make according to your bad feelings? Especially when youre physically tired, since its harder to be productive, you tend to engage in illegitimate activities. During those times, we must learn to persevere and do right things with the right motive. Do not quit and go to your sinful addictions. Be careful even with neutral activities because you can easily use them to feed your sinful motive.