Romans 13:8-14 8Owe No One Anything, Except to Love One Another; for the One Who Loves
Romans 13:8-14 8Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet’; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 10Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. An Urgent Appeal
11Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; 12the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light;13let us live honorably as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarrelling and jealousy. 14Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
Matthew 18:15-20 15‘If another member of the church* sins against you,* go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. *16But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector. 18Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.’
Romans 13:8-14 and Matthew 18:15-20
09/10/2017 – First U.M.C.of Saginaw
“No Conflict Here!”
Rev. Amy Terhune
“There was a church where the pastor and the minister of music were not getting along. As time went by, their discord began to spill over into the worship service.
“The first week the pastor preached on commitment and how we all should dedicate ourselves to the service of God. After which, the music director led the song, "I Shall Not Be Moved."
“The second week the pastor preached on tithing and how we all should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The music director then led the song, "Jesus Paid it All."
“The third week the pastor preached on gossiping and how we should all watch our tongues. The music director led the song, "I Love to Tell the Story."
“With all this going on, the pastor became very disgusted over the situation and the following Sunday told the congregation that he was considering resigning. The music director led the song, "Oh Why Not Tonight?"
“Well, the pastor did indeed resign. The next week he informed the church that it was Jesus who led him there and it was Jesus who was leading him away. The music director led the song, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." [Contributed by Byrl Shaver and used in “On Picking Your Battles” by King Duncan,
We laugh, but all joking aside: what a friend we have in Jesus. What a friend! Jesus, the greatest friend humanity has—he searches out lost sheep and lays down his life for the flock. Jesus, who was betrayed and abandoned in his hour of crisis by those closest to him does not ever betray or abandon us. Jesus, who—when the whole of humanity turned their back on him and clamored for his death—prayed ‘Father, forgive them. They don’t really understand what they’re doing.’ Jesus, who tells us that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Jesus, who let us in on the plan and told us “slaves don’t know what the master is doing, but I have called you friends.” What a friend we have in Jesus. And it is Jesus who desired his followers to be bound up in friendship and mutual love, to support and encourage one another, to challenge and learn from one another, to be that second family that sticks by us through thick and thin. This is God’s will for the church, but how often is the church more like the pastor and the choir director than the friends Jesus modeled and calls us to be?
In today’s lesson, Jesus has instructions about our relationships to one another as Christians. And the lessons are eminently pragmatic—applicable to our family relationships, our friendships, our co-workers, and of course, our church.
Jesus instructs us, "If another member of the church sins against you, go first and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.” It doesn’t get much clearer than that, does it? And yet, that is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult things for any human being to do. It takes courage, strength of character, and love.
It must be stated that conflict is a part of life—even life in the church. There are some who have joked that perhaps Jesus misspoke when he said, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” What he really meant was, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there is difference of opinion among them.” Well, that is oftentimes true, but Jesus is present among us—even when we are in disagreement or conflict, and that’s good news.
“So it isn't a matter that Christians are perfect and will not have conflicts. There will always be quarrels, differences of opinion on how and who, disappointments with preachers and councils, hurt feelings, bent pride, loss of face, and lots of mistakes. It's the idea that Christians should be able to resolve these conflicts quickly and lovingly, that Jesus puts before us today.” [adapted from illustrations for Matthew 18:15-20,
And here’s what he says. From the outset of this passage, Jesus is clear that we are the ones responsible for initiating reconciliation—which is completely understandable if we’re the one who started the problem in the first place. In that case, the right and obvious thing to do, once we’ve cooled down, is go to the other and apologize. Initiating reconciliation would also be fine if it was simply a matter of a difference of opinion and we could agree to disagree and move on. Somebody’s got to make the first move. But that isn’t what Jesus says here. He says, “if another member of the church sins against you…” In other words, we are the injured party. We are the ones who have, in some way, suffered as a result of another’s choices. They started it. If another member of the church* sins against you,* go… Go. They started it and we must end it. Now that’s a tall order. It’s not fair. It’s not just. It’s certainly not easy. But it is right, because it indicates that we treasure the relationship above issues or pride, and that we believe the relationship to be worth saving. And so we go. We don’t sweep it under the rug. We don’t put it off and let it fester. We go.
We should also notice how many times Jesus used the word ‘listen’. Yet it is always in the context of getting the other person to listen to you. Here’s what Jesus’ audience would have known that you and I might not. The only way you get someone to listen to you in 1st century Israel is to earn it. How do you earn it? You listen first. Jesus is not advocating a one-sided conversation here, folks. We must go with the intent to solve the problem, not force our viewpoint down their throats. We must go ready to share our feelings rather than hurl accusations. We must go ready to listen to the other.
The story is told of President Franklin Roosevelt, who often endured long receiving lines at the White House. He complained that no one really listened to anything anyone else said. One day, during a reception, he decided to try an experiment. To each person who passed down the line and shook his hand, he murmured, "I murdered my grandmother this morning." The guests responded with phrases like, "Marvelous! Keep up the good work. We are proud of you. God bless you, sir." It was not till the end of the line, while greeting the ambassador from Bolivia, that his words were actually heard. Nonplussed, the ambassador leaned over and whispered, "I'm sure she had it coming." [traditional]
This summer has given us reason to believe that maybe folks in Washington aren’t so good at listening to each other. But the church is just as guilty. “Another story is told of a church having its monthly business meeting. The treasury was in better shape than usual, so the moderator asked if there were any special needs. One lady stood and said that she felt the church needed to get a chandelier.
“A penny-pinching deacon leapt to his feet and shouted, “I’m against it for three reasons. Number one, nobody knows how to spell it. Number two, nobody knows how to play it. And number three, what this church really needs is more light!” [from Loyal Jones and Billy Edd Wheeler, Laughter in Appalachia (New York: Ivy Books, 1987) pg. 26; as appearing in Robert J. Morgan, Nelson’s Complete Book of Stories, Illustrations, and Quotes (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2000) pg. 137.]
What this church really needs is more light—that could be a spiritual assessment as well. When we don’t listen to each other—really listen—we can’t learn from each other, understand each other, support each other, be in relationship. “Remember that the whole of the Christian faith can be summed up in the word relationship: relationship with God, relationship with one another. As Frederick Buechner has written: "Faith is not so much believing this thing or that about God as it is hearing the voice which says, `Come unto Me.' [from “The Love That Binds Us Together” by King Duncan,
Forging ahead, we notice that Jesus said, “go FIRST to the offender…” And only if you are unable to resolve the conflict do we bring in another person. All too often, the one who has sinned against us is the LAST person we go to—the whole group, the whole town, the whole family, the whole church knows first. There’s no ambiguity here: Go to the offender right off the bat yourself. And if it cannot be resolved, than take one or two others.
But if it comes to that, who should those companions be? Not just anyone. If possible, the third party should be one known to both of the people in conflict and trusted by both of those people. It should be one capable of keeping a level head, capable of listening, and above all, one whose only purpose is to aid in reconciliation. It cannot be one who simply thinks they are there to back you up and help bully the other.
Then comes the clincher. Jesus instructs us, “If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” That’s troublesome to many. In days gone by, this particular verse was used to as a basis for excommunication—banishing one from the membership of the church. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth. Remember, this passage is sandwiched between a parable about searching for a lost sheep and Jesus words to Peter that one must forgive not 7 times but 70 times 7 times—indefinitely. Remember too, that Jesus welcomed into his fellowship gentiles and disreputable people of all sorts. Matthew himself was a tax-collector. Jesus isn’t instructing us to banish such a one. Jesus is telling the church that one who is sinning and is unable to listen or to change is an infant in faith—one who, more than ever, needs the church’s patience, understanding, instruction, fellowship, prayers, love, and grace-filled forgiveness! [idea from “The One Thing That Would Make the Biggest Difference” by Roger G. Talbott, Condensed and adapted here.]
Reconciliation is the way of the Christian. We are to give others every possible opportunity to turn their lives around. But one final word: You know and I know that there are some relationships that cannot be healed—at least not right now, not until something changes. That is a tragic and sad reality in a fallen world. Forgiveness does not mean that we condone harmful behavior or attitudes. Nor does it mean we allow another to trample over us or take advantage of us.Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. In order to have reconciliation, there must be two. But forgiveness only takes one, and it can happen even if the relationship is not salvageable. That’s because forgiveness is about letting go of the anger, hurt, pain, resentment, or bitterness that threatens our own fulfillment and our own happiness. Forgiveness is what happens when God takes over our hearts and quarantines the pain to one little place that we leave to Him. Forgiveness is what happens when God pervades our thinking and allows us to find peace, to stop letting someone or something else control our emotions.
Tony Campolo tells a story about the first time Bill Clinton met Nelson Mandela. President Clinton had a question on his mind: "When you were released from prison, Mr. Mandela," the former President said, "I woke my daughter at three o'clock in the morning. I wanted her to see this historic event." Then President Clinton zeroed in on his question: "As you marched from the cellblock across the yard to the gate of the prison, the camera focused in on your face. I have never seen such anger, and even hatred, in any man as was expressed on your face at that time. That's not the Nelson Mandela I know today," said Clinton. "What was that about?"
Mandela answered, "I'm surprised that you saw that, and I regret that the cameras caught my anger. As I walked across the courtyard that day I thought to myself, ‘They've taken everything from you that matters. Your cause is dead. Your family is gone. Your friends have been killed. Now they're releasing you, but there's nothing left for you out there.’ And I hated them for what they had taken from me. Then, I sensed an inner voice saying to me, ‘Nelson! For twenty-seven years you were their prisoner, but you were always a free man in faith! Don't allow them to make you into a free man, only to turn you into their prisoner!’" [From Tony Campolo, Let Me Tell You A Story (Nashville: Word Publishing, 2000). As used in “Set Free Through Forgiveness by King Duncan,
Forgiveness is the final piece of the equation. Whether conflict is resolved or not, we will never be whole or at peace until we let go of the bitterness and learn to forgive. And the only way to really do that is to turn the situation and our emotions over to Jesus’ care and compassion. This is where the church family can make such an impact in the lives of individual members within it. Wherever two or three are gathered in my name, I am there. These are Jesus words. Well, I’ve got news for you. Jesus is there when we’re all alone, too. I think the real statement here is that there will never be less than two because it will always be at least me and Jesus. Jesus is always there.
The other difficult line here is that if we ask for anything in Jesus name, it will be given. Frankly, I wish Jesus hadn’t said that. It’s far too easily misunderstood. I’ve asked for lots of things I didn’t get. But usually, that’s what they were: things. I’ve asked for miracles, and they didn’t happen. I’ve asked with all my heart for wisdom and insight, and it has taken God three of four months or more to come through! But I can say this: when I’ve asked for these kinds things in the fellowship of believers, I have, without fail, found what I need. Not necessarily what I want—God isn’t a fairy godmother, after all—but what I need. The advantage of being with two or three persons here is that sometimes it takes another to point out the evidence of his presence, especially when we’ve lost confidence or hope. Jesus is telling us that we need each other. As imperfect as we are, as hurtful or arrogant or faithless as we can sometimes be, we still need each other. And even in all our brokenness, we can still be for one another, the channel of God’s grace and love. As the hymn we’re about to sing reminds us: when we are united by love in Christ, we become an extension of that love, a beacon of hope, a home for all kinds, a force for grace and goodness in the world. May it be so. Amen.
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