Communication
In building a successful team one of the most important parts is the ability to communicate. When dealing with others it is crucial that we send accurate information at the appropriate time. Most problems that arise during the course of a season are due to a lack of or a misunderstanding of what is being communicated.
Keys to effective communication
Give the other person your eyes and ears. By looking into someone’s eyes when they speak it is easier to listen. It also shows the person you care.
Hear what the other person is saying. There is a difference between and hearing and listening. Hearing is the physical ability to detect sound, listening is putting meaning to the sound. Most people never hear what is being said, they are too busying thinking about what they are going to say at the first pause.
See both sides of the issue. There is no black and white, reality is usually a shade of grey.
Keep emotions out of the conversation. When we get emotional we often don’t hear and speak properly. It is ok to agree to disagree, but we don’t have to be disagreeable.
You must explain why you do things. If people know why they will be more accepting, even if they disagree.
Good communication is giving directions that cannot be misunderstood.
People cannot read your mind. Let them know how you feel. It will influence how he/she communicates with you. If you are not feeling well let the person know. He /she will be more understanding.
Communicate directly with the person with whom you have the problem. When a third and fourth person get involved misunderstandings occur. Two people are usually involved; you and me.
Immediate communication works best in most situation. Storing things up for a future date leads to frustration.
Use; I feel ...when ...because … When you need to convey your feelings to someone else.
How does communication help a team?
1. We exchange important information between teammates and coaches. The following pages will deal with terms and concepts that we all must understand.
2. It helps you play in the present. When you say what you are doing it keeps you focused on the task at hand and does not allow distracting thoughts to creep into your mind. By calling “ball “on defense it focuses your mind on playing ball defense. When we don’t talk our mind can drift to past mistakes and internalize.
3. It gives support to your teammates . When there is talk a “buzz” develops that gives energy to the team. By saying “help” to a teammate playing defense, we encourage her to play more aggressive knowing there is help. When players on the bench encourage and cheer on hustle and charges, it motivates those on the floor to work even harder.
4. Leadership. Sometimes you must do what the leader says without question. Trust what she says is right. Do it without hesitation. Leaders lead by example and by communicating what must be done in pressure situations. Very often the tone and bluntness of what is being said would be unacceptable in another situation. In the heat of the battle we do not have time to discuss and exchange pleasantries.
5. Avoid confusion. Even if you say nothing you are saying something. It is important to understand that if you say nothing you are agreeing with what is going on. We need people on the team to speak up when players are out of line. For example; if a player is whining or complaining about having to work so hard people should remind her of why we are practicing. If no one says anything this can become rallying point for those who want mediocrity. Also, by becoming quiet and internal people must guess as to what you are thinking and feeling. This leads to confusion and frustration.
Communicate with confidence.
If you Look confident ( eye contact, athletic stance, positive face, positive body language) and Sound confident (a strong positive voice, positive self talk, say what you want to have happen, not what you do not want to have happen ) you will Play confident.
Levels of communication
There are different levels of communication within a team. I have broken it down as follows:
Who is communicating: coach to player, player to coach, player to player, coach to parent, parent to coach, player to parent, parent to player, others i.e. Coach to referee, player to referee.
What type of communication is being conveyed, is it positive or negative.
When is the communication occurring: is it immediate, is it before the event or is it after the event has occurred. Immediate communication is usually the best, but there are times when the other two are necessary. Communicating before the event happens is usually as a warning or as a reminder of what to expect. Sometimes it is better to wait until after the event to communicate what you really think. Things calm down and we remove the emotional element from the equation.
Where is the communication taking place: on the floor during a game or practice, off the floor, but still part of the game (pre-game, timeouts, half time, post-game debriefing) or off the floor away from the game.
Why is the communication taking place. We must all ask ourselves this question. What message do I want to convey and what is the appropriate method to deliver the message.
How? Is it verbal or non verbal. Body language and tone is a more powerful than words when it comes to communication. Is the person giving you her eyes and ears.
Player to player communication
1. On the floor-positive - Communication of a technical nature will be dealt with in a latter section. It is crucial that communication on the floor be done in a voice that can be heard. Constantly talk to the person in front of you. This builds confidence. You are their second set of eyes. The person gives you her eyes and ears. Players must also echo important calls so that the information is passed on to everyone. Players must also motivate one another, give encouragement, help each other to refocus. This can be done with 5 player huddles during stoppages or little mini huddles involving fewer players. The majority of the information is passed on during the movement and play of the game itself.
2. On the floor-negative - This would include such things as poor body language (head hanging, rolling the eyes, no eye contact, slouched shoulders), lack of talk, quiet talk, going internal inside your shell (turtle), not echoing calls, too much talk no one listening (sometimes it is better for one person to give directions and others to listen. An example is with 5 players subbing into the game. It is easier for one person to tell everyone who they are guarding instead of everyone saying who they are guarding. There is no room for discussion in a game, just do it. If a player says “switch” you cannot stop and debate if that was the best method. This can be done in a huddle between the two players at the next stoppage.) By not talking to the person in front of you your team mate must constantly be turning her head to see what is going on behind her. She loses focus and confidence.
3. On the floor-positive-from the bench - The players on the bench should provided energy. When a team-mate dives on the floor for a loose ball, takes a charge or make a great play there should be a natural, spontaneous, celebration. We don’t want a rehearsed song and dance routine. It should be from the heart. We are not cheerleaders singing songs. The bench should also help reinsure their team-mates on the floor. Help them to refocus when they need a boost. The bench can also be a mini coach, helping a team-mate who plays a similar position. This is especially important from starters and seniors when a younger player goes on the floor for them.
4. On the floor-negative-from the bench - draining energy on the bench (not paying attention to the game, joking around, being critical of others, sulking, sitting away from the rest of the team, throwing towels water bottles, kicking chairs) is the main form of negative communication. Talking to or receiving advice from someone not connected with the team can also cause problems.
5. Off the floor - positive - pre-game, timeouts, half time, post game - Talk should be of a honest, positive nature. One should not be afraid to say something if she thinks it will help the teams success. The closer it gets to game time the more the talk should be centered around the strategies of the game. Say what we want to do, not want we don’t want to do.
6. Off the floor - negative - pre-game, timeouts, half time, post game - this is usually talk of a distracting nature. People will say things that either hurt a team-mate or talk about thing that keep them from preparing properly. Players also get quiet and say nothing. Sometimes others must be told when they are out of hand. Also, players must pass on information that they feel will hurt the team. This is especially important in a post game debriefing. Players must feel that their opinions will be heard and respected
7. Off the floor - positive - away from the game - Players should show a genuine interest in what their team-mates say and do. We are building honest, positive relationships. This should include talk about family, friends, interests and feelings. They may also help others solve problems. The golden rule is still the best rule when it comes to dealing with others; treat others the way you want to be treated.
8. Off the floor - negative - away from the game - Destructive communication or lack of positive communication off the floor can severely hurt a team. It is human nature for people to carry with them negative thoughts and feelings. Things such as cliques, whining, back stabbing, insensitivity, not seeing the other persons point of view, can all lead to problems. This type of communication drains energy from the team. When faced with the normal stresses that occur during a season there will be no energy in reserve to face the problem. Players cannot “gunny sack”. This means carrying around problems and frustrations. They must learn to let things go and to deal with problems in a positive way as they arise. Being quiet and not talking is not a positive solution. Others will try to guess what is the problem. When the truth is not allowed to come forward rumours will fill in the holes.
Coach to Player Communication
The coach and player should have and adult relationship. When problems occur the communication should be directly between the player and coach first. When a third party becomes involved, usually a parent, this get complicated.
Coach to player-positive - on the floor—The coaches main job is to coach. This means that through the use of feedback and strategies he is going to assist you the player in accomplishing your goals. This means the coach has to talk to the you the player. Players must accept this fact. The players should not ignore the coach or tune him out. Give him your eyes and ears. Looking away or staring off into space is a signal that you are frustrated, disagree or that your mind is else where. As mentioned before very often the coach will be very blunt and speak in a tone or manner that would seem inappropriate in another environment. The player must understand this and also help parents to come to grasp with this situation. This does not excuse inappropriate coaching behaviour that we will discus in the next section. A coach will discuss strategy, motivate, discipline, encourage, reinsure and many other things during the course of the game. It is important that the coach clearly communicate his instructions in a clear and concise manner If a coaching board is used, it should be practiced so that the athletes understand what the symbols mean. Players should also understand a coaches “lingo”.
2. Coach to player –negative—on the floor—If a coach is draining energy from the team through his poor communication it is the coaches responsibility to change. More than anyone else the coach can set the tone of a practice or game by his communication. For this reason the coach must be sure that the message being sent is the one intended. Things such a negative body language, swearing, taking out poor play on officials or a single player, stop coaching, sexist or politically incorrect remarks, lying to the players ( everybody will play 10 minutes this half). These have no place in coaching. Players must feel that they can approach the coach at an appropriate time to discuss these issues. Players must understand that as the leader the
coach will make decisions that may not please certain individuals, but are made with the good of the team in mind.
3. Off the floor–positive communication—The coach must show a general interest in his players beside being basketball players. The coach should truly care about his players. Give players the time needed to create a situation where a meaningful conversation can occur. Give the players your eyes and your time. The coach is trying to motivate, encourage, reinsure, problem solve and sometimes discipline. The coach must be open and honest in dealing with his players. Above all it must appear fair. Fair does not always mean equal. Players must also realize that a coach must deal with the entire team. Therefore he must judge his time accordingly.
4. Off the floor –negative communication—actions such as bullying, swearing and derogatory remarks have no place in coaching. Often coaches justify these actions saying it is an extreme form of communication needed to get quick results. In the long run more damage is usually done than good. Lying to players to keep them happy is another form of communication that will eventually harm the relationship. It is my opinion that there must be a division between a coach and a player. If the it is too close problems can develop when tough decisions are needed to be made. The players should respect the coach before they like him. The coach is the adult. The coach should keep lines of communication open.
Player to Coach communication
The players should feel that she can approach the coach. The coach should be honest with the players. The players may not always like the answer, but it will be the truth. On the floor the players must tell the coach what she sees. She must be honest about when she is fatigued or frustrated. At all times avoid giving excuses. Accept responsibility for your actions, learn and move on.
Others
Referees
In dealing with the referee it should only be one voice, that of the coach. When players get involved in makes the situation unpredictable. Captains may approach the referee when instructed by the coach.
Parents
It is important that parents are kept informed. Players and coaches both have a responsibility to talk to parents. Parents will always be more concerned about their own daughter. The coach has a responsibility to the whole team. Players will often give parents a very one sided version of the story. Coaches should not over react to parents. Get both sides of the story first. Be sure the parents hear your side also.
Friends
There are two types of friends, those who will help you achieve your goals, and those who will hurt you in the long run. You will have to make decisions about your friends. Are they just using you for their benefit or they truly concerned for you and your well being. Open honest communication is one way to find this out. Some times you say “no” to them to say yes for yourself.
Media
At times you may be asked to talk to the media. Remember, whatever you say has the possibility of being printed or shown to the public. Never feel pressured by the reporter. If you do not like the direction of the interview politely say no.
Teachers
Playersshouldkeep teachers informed of when they will be missing class time. It is better to tell the teacher when you will absent before hand, rather than after the fact. This shows that you are organized and thinking ahead.
Communication and problem solving
TYPICAL APPROACHES
Denial of feelings
The philosophical response
Advice
Questions
Defend the other person
Pity
Amateur Psychoanalysis
ACKNOWLEDGING FEELINGS
Identify the feeling - give it a word.
Acknowledge the feeling with a sound or word.
Give the person in fantasy what you can’t give them in reality.
Accept the person’s feeling even as you stop unacceptable behavior.
ENGAGING COOPERATION