Dreams and Memories

Dreams and memories

(D’Arcangelo)

INTRODUCTION TO SEXUALITY:

"Why did I get married in the first place?"

[David]

When Stephanie and I began dating my love for her grew immediately and intensely. Not only was she the most beautiful woman I had ever met but her deep sense of spirituality, self-assurance and love of family was irresistible. When we walked hand-in-hand on our first date it felt like we belonged with each other, the conversation came easily and time seemed to stand still. She was interested in what I liked and her likes made me want to be with her more. , Stephanie didn’t run for pleasure but indulged me by going along for a mile or two, or bringing me water on a long-run. She really showed interest in the things I liked and that unique and refreshing for me to be loved in that way. Stephanie’s femininity was nurturing and caring and she had an authenticity , and a natural beauty that just made me want to be around her more

·  :I asked Stephanie to marry me because I couldn’t imagine my life without her”

THE GIFT OF SEXUALITY:

Feel free to illustrate any of the points below with real life examples and to pepper this section with humor.

[Stephanie]

The male brain is very compartmentalized with something like “on/off” switches that make it easy for him to stay on task, never want to quit, and have a great propensity toward long range planning.

At approximately 26 weeks gestation, a chemical bath washes the male brain and kills off most of the connectors, between the right and left hemispheres leaving him lateral brained (no, not brain damaged!). That means that he can literally “park” in one area of the brain uninterrupted by the incomings. It helps him make a plan and stick to it.,

Like the grocery list. If Dave forgets the list on the counter he will immediately return home to retrieve it. He never deviates from the list, whereas I barely refer to the list and can come home with a car load of groceries thatbarely resemble what I planned to buy. The male drive to conquer is also evident While on his mission to retrieve food for his family, Dave checks things off as he goes and conquers every item on the list.

Illustrate the obvious good that can come from our inherent sexuality by using innocent examples from life that are clear, classic, and relatable.

[David]

Our sexuality is inherently good, and we can see how it is drawn out of us in many innocent everyday interactions.

One example is how our oldest son, now 13, interacts with his 7 year old sister. Now, as a young testosterone loaded teenager boy, he admires strength. He’s all about sports and the tougher, faster and stronger someone can do something the better. . But, it’s amazing to watch how he can be tender to his youngest sister. is so patient and soft spoken with her. He lets her tease him the way no one else can then picks her up and twirls her around the living room as she giggles uncontrollably. When he helps her practice batting in the yard or is learning something new in the pool, she brings out in him a youthful innocence that transcends sibling rivalry or the age difference they have.

Another example from when I was growing up was my great Aunt Cecil. She was an engaging older woman who brought the best chivalrous virtue out in many of the men she knew. I saw this with my own father, who would drive the two-hours just to ’check-in’ on her, share lunch and help her with groceries. She always seemed thrilled for us to visit, sometimes preparing our favorite lunch, or, would get all dolled up so we could take her out. Her femininity was outgoing and personal and was so attractive and it made my dad’s heart soften, I loved spending time with the two of them.

But, no one brings out my masculinity more than Stephanie. She only needs to look to look at me with that coy smile and bat her eyelashes and I forget what was on my mind or even if I was upset about something. She has an amazing ability to calm any nervousness and make me think that we are the only things that are important at that moment. When she gets dressed up for a date or when we go dancing it’s like I’m reliving all those dates of the past 19 years and all the good memories they bring.

[Stephanie:]

The perennial attraction of the man to feminine and the woman to the masculine is what that special chemistry between a father and daughter is all about . No one can melt Dave like our 6 Year old daughter can with a “pleeeese. She always wants to sit by him when we go out to eat and every Sunday after I do her hair for church she says, “I have to show Daddy !” as she runs off in search of his approval. She eats it up when he makes a fuss over her shiny hair and beautiful dress. This was never more evident than this past Feb when they went to their first father daughter dance and he waited for her with a corsage at the bottom of the staircase. Dave was beaming with pride as he tenderly put it on her tiny wrist. ”…. If they are out doing errands, the checkbook balance better watch out because a few bats of her eyelashes and a trip to the mall is inevitable. Wherever they are together Dave’s gentle, masculine tenderness is drawn out and is evident in his body language and is written all over his face.

It is true for me too. All my son Ben has to say is “Boy Mom you look so pretty today.” and I’m blushing like a school girl and ready to pop him some buttery popcorn or make a favorite dessert. When either of our boys hold the door for me or save me a seat after procuring the table at Minella’s Diner, I feel so special. while we are eating Ben often shares with me about all the great tackles he made in yesterday’s game or Ethan recalls his toughest swim practice of the week. They are forever showing me their growing muscles. Ben will declare that I couldn’t possibly get along without all his power and strength. He worries about how I will get the groceries into the house when he is away ..

[Stephanie]

“Maybe it would be helpful to understand what we mean by masculinity and femininity if I describe for you how I experience my husband’s masculinity.”

The first thing I think of is his strength . Dave is a man of integrity and commitment. He has a very dedicated work ethic- if he say’s he will do it consider it done. He deep sense of commitment and responsibly to his family causes him to give up sleep in order to provide for us by getting up at 4:30 every morning and staying up with me until 10:30 or 11 just so we have quality time just the two of us. He will even quietly get up on a Saturday to take Ethan to those early and eternal swim meets just so I can get some extra sleep. That masculine willingness to sacrifice for the common good draws out my desire to nurture and take care of him. I feel so much compassion for him that I want to lift some of the burden by making our home a comfortable and happy place for him to be- free of the demands of work and other commitments.

Dave is a man of service and is wonderful example to our sons about how a good man treats his neighbor. Not only has he shoveled my parent’s driveway after a particularly heavy snow when we have visited but he continued by shoveling out several of their elderly neighbors. This brings out my feminine responsiveness and it makes me more generous with loving affection towards him. Dave’s masculine qualities bring out the best in me. One of the first things I that you may notice about Dave is his deep voice. He takes command of the room and any situation just by opening his mouth. With me that same voice is warm and affectionate it draws me in and out of myself. It makes me trust what he has to say whether it’s a news article he found interesting, his take on an important family issue or if he is complementing me on my new outfit. I feel safe and loved resting in my special spot in his arms surrounded by his broad shoulders.

SEXUAL ATMOSPHERE:

[David]

There are times when we seem to we treat each other more as business partners than man and wife. than man and wife., the decisions get made, and the children and the house are attended to but we treat each day as a chore and a list to be accomplish. It can be draining and everything is too much work

On the other hand, when I am in tune Stephanie’s femininity life just gets a lot easier. Running the kids to practice doesn’t seem so bad, chores around the house aren’t as burdensome. All the same things get done but the atmosphere is so much lighter and more fun. It might be difficult to believe but even the kids seem to behave better, they fight less, do their homework and enjoy each other’s company. We are better with them, more encouraging and less prone to criticize. There is an air of happiness that pervades not just our home but also my daily interactions, whether it be co-workers, someone on the kids sports team or a stranger at the store or gym. In sum, when the sexual atmosphere between us is strong it changes everything I am even a better person and every aspect of marriage and family is easier.

PRAYER

For the grace of Ambition for our marriage

STephanie

Dear Lord, I ask for the grace of amibition for our marriAGE. sO THAT dAVE AND i can continue to grow as a couple and fall more deeply in love nad “reach for the stars” when in comes to our marriage. i ASK FOR THIS GRACE SO THAT i CAN BE THE BEST WIFE FOR dAVID THAT i CAN AND SO HE WILL FEEL LOVED AND VALUED.

i ALSO ASK FOR THE GRACE OF aMIBITION FOR ALL THE COUPLES HERE TODAY . aMBITION TO BE THE BEST HUSAND AND WIFE FOR THEIR SPOUSE THAT THEY CAN BE. fILL THEM WITH THE DESIRE TO BE FOR THE OTHER SO THEIR MARRIAGES CAN GROW IN FAITH AND LOVE.

memories

[David]

What came to mind for me was our first date. It was at Penn State in September. We went to dinner then I took her back to her dorm. But the walk there was spent talking, hand-in-hand among the stately old elm trees on campus. Time wasn’t important, and I don’t recall even what we talked about, only that we were together and the conversation was both eager and light. I wasgenuinely interested in learning more about her. Our hands seemed to fit together like a puzzle piece that had just found the one piece meant to be next to it. The match was perfect.

[Stephanie]

A very recent sexual memory for me was sparked while writing this talk. I was enjoying recalling romantic memories from dating and early in our marriage. I chuckled to myself about how when we were newlyweds if I was reading or distracted with something and Dave wanted to get my attention for a romantic interlude he would pop-up behind me and say “I’m naked under my clothes.” and I would giggle and put down whatever I was doing. Well, I hadn’t thought of that memory in a long time and it had been at least 10 years since Dave had used that line with me and we were at my sister’s house last month for our goddaughter’s baptism and most of the adults and children in the house were napping except for me so I snuck into the room where Dave was “resting his eyes” and locked the door and crept up next to him and said, “I’m naked under my clothes.” to which he replied, “Prove it”. Now, we have a new memory to recall someday when one of us decides to claim “I’m naked underneath my clothes.

[Stephanie]

When Dave and I take time to remember playful moments and wonderful memories of our adventures as husband and wife, we have a hard time stopping. As we talk, we become more open about our feelings and what is really important to us. We rekindle those feeling of falling in love again and again, and it motivates us to make a new memory in the present moment..

We have moved around a lot. This is our sixth home in 16 years. We have a tradition that we must “christen” each room with our passion for each other in our new home. This applies to new cars as well. The memory that comes to mind first for me is when we had gotten a new Honda minivan and we pulled into the driveway after being out to dinner. It appeared that the babysitter had successfully gotten the children into bed by looking at what lights were on. . When we finally came inside to take her home, we gave her an extra good tip since we were in such a good mood. In our current home we have done a lot of remodeling which has required “re-christening” and leads to laugher and more spontaneous playfulness. We replaced our staircase a couple of years ago and let’s just say the new banister should stand up to whatever two boys can dish out.