2011-2012 Writing Booklet English I Honors Northside Middle School Katie C. Bradley

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2011-2012 Writing Booklet English I Honors–Northside Middle School Katie C. Bradley

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Write only on the front of a page.

Turn in notebook pages with CLEAN EDGES — no frazzles!

Use blue or black ink for all final drafts. Pen or pencil is acceptable for rough drafts.

Typed papers are preferred. Typed papers must follow standard rules of typing with appropriate margins and spacing. Follow MLA format and style.

Plagiarism will result in a zero grade on any assignment.

Longhand or printing is acceptable.

Indent all paragraphs five letter spaces.

At the end of a line, hyphenate words only between syllables. Do not carry over endings like -ed,-ing, etc.

Titles —

• Capitalize the first word and all other words in the title except articles (a, an, and the), prepositions (to, with, in, on, etc.), and conjunctions (and, but, or, not, etc.).
• 
  Do not place quotation marks around the title or underline it. Do not use punctuation marks after the title unless a question mark or an exclamation point is needed.

Coherence in writing means that the ideas flow from one to the next without awkward breaks or gaps in logical organization. In a coherent paragraph, the sentences are connected logically. You can achieve such connections through the use of parallel structures and punctuation. You can also use transitional words and phrases to show the logical order of your ideas, and you can use pronouns, synonyms, and repeated words to show that statements made in separate sentences refer to the same things.

Order of

Importance

/ Chronological
Order / Comparison / Contrast
First
Second
Third
Next
One
Another
Finally
Also
Most
Greatest
Least
Even greater
For one reason
Moreover
Most important
Last
Mainly
Primarily / First
Next
Then
Later
Soon
Now
After
Before
During
Afterwards
Finally
Moments later
In the meantime
At the moment
Formerly
At last
Meanwhile
When
Until
That night / Like
Besides
And
Both
Whereas
Similarly
Likewise
In addition
Similar to
Just as
Also
In the same way
In like manner / However
On the contrary
In contrast
On the other hand
But
Even so
Unlike
Conversely
Nevertheless
Yet
Developmental Order / Cause and Effect / Spatial
Order / Introduce Examples or Explanations
Also
Furthermore
For example
For instance
Namely
Moreover
In addition
Other
As a result
Consequently
Thus
Therefore
Along with
Next
In fact / As a result
Because
Consequently
For that reason
Therefore
Then
Thus / Outside Inside
Here Near
Behind
Closer
Around
Beyond
To the left
Ahead
Overhead
Beneath
Above
Below
In the distance
Underneath
Next to
Around the corner /

For example

As an illustration

In particular

Namely
For instance
Also
That is
Such as
To illustrate

Coherence: Transitions Between Ideas

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Bottom of Form

The most convincing ideas in the world, expressed in the most beautiful sentences, will move no one unless those ideas are properly connected. Unless readers can move easily from one thought to another, they will surely find something else to read or turn on the television.

Providing transitions between ideas is largely a matter of attitude. You must never assume that your readers know what you know. In fact, it's a good idea to assume not only that your readers need all the information that you have and need to know how you arrived at the point you're at, but also that they are not quite as quick as you are. You might be able to leap from one side of the stream to the other; believe that your readers need some stepping stones and be sure to place them in readily accessible and visible spots.

There are four basic mechanical considerations in providing transitions between ideas: using transitional expressions, repeating key words and phrases, using pronoun reference, and using parallel form.

USING TRANSITIONAL TAGS

Transitional tags run the gamut from the most simple — the little conjunctions: and, but, nor, for, yet, or, (and sometimes) so — to more complex signals that ideas are somehow connected — the conjunctive adverbs and transitional expressions such as however, moreover, nevertheless, on the other hand.

The use of the little conjunctions — especially and and but — comes naturally for most writers. However, the question whether one can begin a sentence with a small conjunction often arises. Isn't the conjunction at the beginning of the sentence a sign that the sentence should have been connected to the prior sentence? Well, sometimes, yes. But often the initial conjunction calls attention to the sentence in an effective way, and that's just what you want. Over-used, beginning a sentence with a conjunction can be distracting, but the device can add a refreshing dash to a sentence and speed the narrative flow of your text. Restrictions against beginning a sentence with and or but are based on shaky grammatical foundations; some of the most influential writers in the language have been happily ignoring such restrictions for centuries.*

Here is a chart of the transitional devices (also called conjunctive adverbs or adverbial conjunctions) accompanied with a simplified definition of function (note that some devices appear with more than one definition):

addition / again, also, and, and then, besides, equally important, finally, first, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, last, moreover, next, second, still, too
comparison / also, in the same way, likewise, similarly
concession / granted, naturally, of course
contrast / although, and yet, at the same time, but at the same time, despite that, even so, even though, for all that, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, regardless, still, though, yet
emphasis / certainly, indeed, in fact, of course
example or
illustration / after all, as an illustration, even, for example, for instance, in conclusion, indeed, in fact, in other words, in short, it is true, of course, namely, specifically, that is, to illustrate, thus, truly
summary / all in all, altogether, as has been said, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in other words, in particular, in short, in simpler terms, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore, to put it differently, to summarize
time sequence / after a while, afterward, again, also, and then, as long as, at last, at length, at that time, before, besides, earlier, eventually, finally, formerly, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, in the past, last, lately, meanwhile, moreover, next, now, presently, second, shortly, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, still, subsequently, then, thereafter, too, until, until now, when

A word of caution: Do not interlard your text with transitional expressions merely because you know these devices connect ideas. They must appear, naturally, where they belong, or they'll stick like a fishbone in your reader's craw. (For that same reason, there is no point in trying to memorize this vast list.) On the other hand, if you can read your entire essay and discover none of these transitional devices, then you must wonder what, if anything, is holding your ideas together. Practice by inserting a tentative however, nevertheless, consequently. Reread the essay later to see if these words provide the glue you needed at those points.

Repetition of Key Words and Phrases

The ability to connect ideas by means of repetition of key words and phrases sometimes meets a natural resistance based on the fear of being repetitive. We've been trained to loathe redundancy. Now we must learn that catching a word or phrase that's important to a reader's comprehension of a piece and replaying that word or phrase creates a musical motif in that reader's head. Unless it is overworked and obtrusive, repetition lends itself to a sense of coherence (or at least to the illusion of coherence). Remember Lincoln's advice:

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

In fact, you can't forget Lincoln's advice because it has become part of the music of our language. Remember to use this device to link paragraphs as well as sentences.

Pronoun Reference

Pronouns quite naturally connect ideas because pronouns almost always refer the reader to something earlier in the text. I cannot say "This is true because . . ." without causing the reader to consider what "this" could mean. Thus, the pronoun causes the reader to sum up, quickly and subconsciously, what was said before (what this is) before going on to the because part of my reasoning.

We should hardly need to add, however, that it must always be perfectly clear what a pronoun refers to. If my reader cannot instantly know what this is, then my sentence is ambiguous and misleading. Also, do not rely on unclear pronoun references to avoid responsibility: "They say that . . ."

Parallelism

Music in prose is often the result of parallelism, the deliberate repetition of larger structures of phrases, even clauses and whole sentences. We urge you to read the Guide's section on Parallelism and take the accompanying quiz on recognizing parallel form (and repairing sentences that ought to use parallel form but don't). Pay special attention to the guided tour through the parallel intricacies within Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

Coherence Devices in Action

Look at the following paragraph:

The ancient Egyptians were masters of preserving dead people's bodies by making mummies of them. Mummies several thousand years old have been discovered nearly intact. The skin, hair, teeth, fingernails and toenails, and facial features of the mummies were evident. It is possible to diagnose the disease they suffered in life, such as smallpox, arthritis, and nutritional deficiencies. The process was remarkably effective. Sometimes apparent were the fatal afflictions of the dead people: a middle-aged king died from a blow on the head, and polio killed a child king. Mummification consisted of removing the internal organs, applying natural preservatives inside and out, and then wrapping the body in layers of bandages.

Though weak, this paragraph is not a total washout. It starts with a topic sentence, and the sentences that follow are clearly related to the topic sentence. In the language of writing, the paragraph is unified (i.e., it contains no irrelevant details). However, the paragraph is not coherent. The sentences are disconnected from each other, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought.

Below is the same paragraph revised for coherence. Italics indicates pronouns and repeated/restated key words, bold indicates transitional tag-words, and underlining indicates parallel structures.

The ancient Egyptians were masters of preserving dead people's bodies by making mummies of them. In short, mummification consisted of removing the internal organs, applying natural preservatives inside and out, and then wrapping the body in layers of bandages. Andthe process was remarkably effective. Indeed, mummies several thousand years old have been discovered nearly intact. Their skin, hair, teeth, fingernails and toenails, and facial features are still evident.Their diseases in life, such as smallpox, arthritis, and nutritional deficiencies, are still diagnosable. Eventheir fatal afflictions are still apparent: a middle-aged king died from a blow on the head; a child king died from polio.

The paragraph is now much more coherent. The organization of the information and the links between sentences help readers move easily from one sentence to the next. Notice how this writer uses a variety of coherence devices, sometimes in combination, to achieve overall paragraph coherence.

Writing Concise Sentences

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Bottom of Form

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.
— William Strunk Jr. in Elements of Style

Whether it's a two-word quip or a 200-word bear, a sentence must be a lean, thinking machine. Here are some notes toward efficiency and conciseness in writing.

PRUNING THE REDUNDANT

Avoid saying the same thing twice.

• Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school continue to vote for better schools.

A phrase that repeats itself—like "true fact," "twelve noon," "I saw it with my own eyes"—is sometimes called a pleonasm.

Redundant phrases are bad habits just waiting to take control of your writing. Beware of the following.

Redundancy / The Lean Version
12 midnight / midnight
12 noon / noon
3 am in the morning / 3 am
absolutely spectacular/phenomenal / spectacular/phenomenal
a person who is honest / an honest person
a total of 14 birds / 14 birds
biography of her life / biography
circle around / circle
close proximity / proximity
completely unanimous / unanimous
consensus of opinion / consensus
cooperate together / cooperate
each and every / each
enclosed herewith / enclosed
end result / result
exactly the same / the same
final completion / completion
frank and honest exchange / frank exchange or honest exchange
free gift / gift
he/she is a person who . . . / he/she
important/basic essentials / essentials
in spite of the fact that / although
in the field of economics/law enforcement / in economics/law enforcement
in the event that / if
job functions / job or functions
new innovations / innovations
one and the same / the same
particular interest / interest
period of four days / four days
personally, I think/feel / I think/feel
personal opinion / opinion
puzzling in nature / puzzling
refer back / refer
repeat again / repeat
return again / return
revert back / revert
shorter/longer in length / shorter/longer
small/large in size / small/large
square/round/rectangular in shape / square/round/rectangular
summarize briefly / summarize
surrounded on all sides / surrounded
surrounding circumstances / circumstances
the future to come / the future
there is no doubt but that / no doubt
usual/habitual custom / custom
we are in receipt of / we have received

Abbreviated Redundancies

A special breed of redundancy is proliferating in our modern world as we increasingly rely on abbreviations and acronyms in the busyness of our technology. Some people insist it is redundant to say "ATM machine" because ATM means Automated Teller Machine. They add that it is redundant to say "HIV virus" because HIV means Human Immunodeficiency Virus, "AIDS syndrome" because AIDS means Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome, "CPU unit" because CPU means Central Processing Unit. It sounds particularly silly when we come up with a plural such as "CPU units" — Central Processing Unit units. It is perhaps too easy to get caught up in this, however. "CD disk" can be redundant, but nowadays the abbreviation CD can refer to a number of things, including the machine itself. Occasionally, an abbreviation — like CD, ATM — becomes more of an idea unto itself than a shortened version for a set of words, and the abbreviation ought to be allowed to act as modifier.

Reducing Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to Single Words

Be alert for clauses or phrases that can be pared to simpler, shorter constructions. The "which clause" can often be shortened to a simple adjective. (Be careful, however, not to lose some needed emphasis by over-pruning; the word "which," which is sometimes necessary [as it is in this sentence], is not evil.)

• SmithCollege, which was founded in 1871, is the premier all-women's college in the United States.
• Founded in 1871, SmithCollege is the premier all-women's college in the United States.
• Citizens who knew what was going on voted him out of office.
• Knowledgeable citizens voted him out of office.
• Recommending that a student copy from another student's paper is not something he would recommend.
• He wouldn't recommend that a student copy from another student's paper.
  (Or "He would never tell a student to copy . . . .")

Phrases, too, can sometimes be trimmed, sometimes to a single word.

• Unencumbered by a sense of responsibility, Jasion left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans.
• Jasion irresponsibly left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans.
  (Or leave out the word altogether and let the act speak for itself.)

Intensifiers that Don't Intensify

Avoid using words such as really, very, quite, extremely, severely when they are not necessary. It is probably enough to say that the salary increase is inadequate. Does saying that it is severely inadequate introduce anything more than a tone of hysteria? These words shouldn't be banished from your vocabulary, but they will be used to best effect when used sparingly.

Avoiding Expletive Constructions

This sounds like something a politician has to learn to avoid, but, no, an expletive construction is a common device that often robs a sentence of energy before it gets a chance to do its work. Expletive constructions begin with there is/are or it is.

• There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant.
• Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. They and their parents stand to gain the most by the government grant.

Further information about expletive constructions is available on our page on The Verb "To Be".

Phrases You Can Omit

Be on the lookout for important sounding phrases that add nothing to the meaning of a sentence. Such phrases quickly put a reader on guard that the writer is trading in puffery; worse, they put a reader to sleep.