Tribute to Brother Brendan

TRIBUTE TO BROTHER BRENDAN

Iain Grieve, Marist “Old Boy”, and now a senior lawyer, has known Brother Brendan for half-a-century. He has been a member of the Marist Schools Council (MSC), a body comprising Brothers and laypersons, since its inception in 1999. The MSC oversees the administration and ethos of the Marist schools in South Africa.
Iain wrote this tribute just over a year ago.

Brother Brendan will not be at the next meeting of the MSC. His involuntary absence will be due to unfortunate circumstances completely beyond his control. Those same circumstances will probably lead him to having to withdraw from the MSC.

There will be one less chair around the table.It is significant then that this meeting is to take place at St. Henry’s, the school with which he has been so closely associated for the last fifty years.I would not want this moment to pass without a pause to reflect on this Marist Brother and his enormous contribution to the Marist world.

I first met Brother Brendan on 15th July 1968. So, I have known him for forty eight years.My parents wanted me to go to St. Henry’s. The school had been strongly recommended to them by a teacher of my former school who candidly admitted to my mother that that school had very low standards. She said: “If you want your boy to succeed, send him to the Marist Brothers”.

My parents knew nothing about the school and two things were immediately against it: distance from home and cost. But, they had great faith so they made an appointment to see the Headmaster, an Irishman called Brother Brendan. My Dad kept calling him “Father” which I later told Brother Brendan was possibly the only reason I was admitted to the College. My Dad had promoted him!Little did we then know that “Brother” was a noun used very proudly by a fraternity of great men. The error in address hardly amounted to a promotion.

So started a journey that changed the course of both my and my parent’s lives. It was later to change my wife and son’s lives, as well.

Even as a youngster going into Standard IV, I immediately grasped the meaning of Presence. Brother Brendan was everywhere. He knew the school intimately, its pupils, teachers and everyone associated with it. He was a true leader. Someone who was undoubtedly in charge but totally unobtrusive. He was the rock upon which the entire school community relied. And, at that time, he was only 32 years old and he had already been Head for two years.Most of the teachers and Brothers that he led were far older than him. However, everyone understood that he was the boss and also understood his absolute obedience in carrying out the duties assigned to him to the best of his enormous ability.

Anyone who knows Brother Brendan knows that he is incredibly proud to be Irish. Therefore, it is no surprise that he has always been surrounded by the Irish. My first teacher was wonderful, Miss Murphy – I need hardly say she was Irish - whose sister was a nun working at St. Theresa’s orphanage in Durban. Brother Eugene was a well-known Irishman who taught at the school at that time, and there have been so many others over the years, right up to Brother’s great friend, Father Seán Mullin, St. Henry’s current school chaplain. These are the people who you admire and it was with great pride that I quickly discovered an association with them through a late grandmother who I found out was Irish!

Brother Brendan remained at the College throughout all my school days. I was indeed fortunate.

When one considers the offerings of leading schools today, those are nothing compared to Brother Brendan’s foresight and influence. St. Henry’s, under Brother’s control, would easily have compared to the most cutting-edge contemporary educational institutions. As an example, we were the first to have television of any kind. This was long before television was introduced to South Africa. Brother William and Brother Austin spent the whole school holiday linking every classroom in the school to a room which housed a sophisticated closed circuit television studio. The entire school was linked. English and Afrikaans orals were broadcast to classes and the TVs were used to teach mathematics as well. We saw the moon landing on TV (the only ones in South Africa to do so - it was even in the newspaper!). Brother Vincent later took this one step further and televised our rugby matches with some of us providing rudimentary commentary. Talk about being pioneers!

I fast forward to my matric year. He taught me Latin, Religion, was my rugby coach and obviously in charge of us prefects. This all meant that I was in Brother Brendan’s company for about half of each school day. He knew absolutely everything about each boy, not only in Matric but in the whole school and none of that information has been lost over the years. He really cares. I enjoyed his Latin teaching to such a degree that I majored in the

subject at University.

It was during that year that I sensed his Love of Work. He would give us a complicated Latin Test in the morning of a particular day, carry on with all his other teaching and extra mural duties as well as his work as the Head and then return the Test to all of us early the next day, duly marked and corrected where necessary, together with comments.

He was very strict with what we called vocabulary tests. He made us learn Latin vocabulary from a small blue book which I still have. We had to do this every night. He often sprung spur-of-the-moment oral tests on us and woe betide if you got anything wrong. However, although I modestly say that I was quite good at Latin, I did not know every answer and was in great trepidation about being asked and not knowing the required word. But, I saw a chink in his armour. If you tried to look intelligent and sat on the edge of your seat, enthusiastically gesticulating that you wanted to answer the question, he would never ask you. So, it didn’t matter that you were clueless as to the answer. He was looking for those who did not volunteer to answer, who did not know the answer. Once I appreciated that, it became easy. When you did not know, just stick your hand up and wave it wildly around, confidently beaming with mock intellect, and he would leave you alone!

As soon as my matric exams were over, I obtained a vacation job in a local hardware enterprise. A gentleman came into the store one day and after some discussion, it transpired that he was Brother Brendan’s “real brother”. He was a stationed in northern Natal (as it was then known). What excitement to become aware that Brother Brendan had family! He was a wonderful man and in later years I did some work with him when he was the Bishop of Ingwavuma. When the Bishop died some years ago, I wrote a note to Brother Brendan and went to see him shortly thereafter. Perhaps it was then that I appreciated the spirit that is very, very important to Brother Brendan, the Family Spirit.

Over the years that I have known Brother Brendan, I have always felt the great joy and happiness that he experiences when he visits his family in Ireland. He talks about them with huge tenderness and love and through his stories, I have almost got to know them personally.

Obviously, I have come to know Brother Brendan even better over the last 20 years whilst serving on the Board of Governors and the MSC with him. He is a man for the poor. Not for him the pomp and ceremony of some of what we experience in contemporary school life. Mention of anything remotely elitist results in a carefully worded, humble but firm, discourse no doubt influenced by his own upbringing. Simplicity is an absolute non-negotiable as far as he is concerned.

One of our Marist “pillars” is: In the Way of Mary. In my view that means two principal things to Brother Brendan. Firstly, his evident love for the Holy Mother. Love which has driven every decision that he has made. There can be few examples of any greater love. Secondly, his absolute devotion to the Roman Catholic Church.

This is not a blind devotion because it seems the right thing to do. This is Brother’s core. There is nothing in his life that is more important to him that the Catholic Mass. It is a focal point. It has enormous significance. But, for so devoted a man, his embrace of all others is astounding. An example is that he often very fondly talks about one of his favourite and most respected school Heads, a lady who happens to follow the Muslim faith and who headed a Catholic school down the coast. The religious convictions of others have never been the subject of any divisive comment by Brother Brendan. The only test is: have you got the right values?

Brother Brendan is a very strict disciplinarian. There is no doubt that some pupils rebelled and would not associate themselves with the positive comments made in this tribute. Such is the experience of any teacher. But, discipline has never meant a lack of humanity. He has been one from whom anyone could seek help.

I once represented someone who Brother knows and who had committed a very, very serious crime. He was in a dreadful state in prison. His life would never be the same again. I mentioned this to Brother Brendan. His simple reply was: “When can I visit him?”I took Brother to the prison. That is not a pleasant experience. It certainly did not bother Brother Brendan and he came to the subsequent trial every day giving intelligent and careful support, forgiving but not condoning the actions of this person. The strength that he shared was phenomenal, and most of it was in an uninviting, dark, filthy, urine soaked, prison cell.

Over the last forty eight years, I have often looked up at the Community House. There were probably twelve or so Brothers who lived there in 1968, but that number declined over the years.And then there was one.

He has lived alone, for the last few years, after his loyal friend Father Chris Lockyer left to go to Nazareth House, keeping very active, always working for the good of others. He and I often had a coffee or beer together and then he always spoke with such admiration of his Brothers, the past but especially his present local confreres who he has known for so many years, all of whom he loves and respects profoundly: Joe, Jude, Chris, Mario, Neil, Vincent, Claude. When ill-health unexpectedly forced him to leave the House in March this year, it was like the Captain leaving the ship – the last to go, and that was as it should be.

There is a book entitled: They Crossed My Path. I have always thought that a beautifully emotive title. As we go through life, we encounter so many people and some who have crossed our path often leave lasting impressions.Of all those who have crossed my path, Brother Brendan truly stands out as one of the greatest.

St. Henry’s and our MSC will be lonely places without his presence but his example will ensure that his mission continues.I hope that Brother’s future is the happy one he so richly deserves and what better way to ensure that than bestowing an Irish blessing upon him:

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields

and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

I am deeply humbled by the thought that I am affiliated to this giant of a man.

Iain Grieve,
St. Henry’s,
Founders Day, 6 June 2016