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THE DIOGENES REPORT

The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin

March 2002, Vol. II, #10

UNCLE TOM, IDIOT SAVANT

Uncle Tom—Thomas Friedman—in his March 6 column in The New York

Times titled “The Core of Muslim Rage” demonstrates all of the

characteristics of an idiot savant. In the first 80% of the column he

insightfully analyzes the irrational core of Muslim rage.

Their rage is not directed against the Hindus or Iraq or Syria who have been

responsible for the deaths of thousands—more likely, hundreds of thousands—

of Muslims but against Israel. Israel, Uncle Tom quotes a U. S. diplomat as

saying, is a constant reminder to Muslims of their own powerlessness. How

could a Jewish state, he writes, amass so much military and economic power

if the Islamic way of life—not Christianity or Judaism—is God’s most ideal

religious path?

Jews Spark Muslim Rage

Forget about Hindu or inter-Arab murders, “but when a small band of Israeli

Jews kill Muslims it sparks rage—a rage that must come from Muslims

having to confront the gap between their self-perception as Muslims

and the reality of the Muslim world.”

And here is Uncle Tom at his savant best: “I have long believed that it is this

poverty of dignity, not poverty of money, that is behind a lot of Muslim rage

today and the reason this rage is sharpest among educated, but frustrated

Muslim youth. It is they who perpetrated 9/11 and slit the throat of the

Wall Street Journal reporter Danny Pearl—after reportedly forcing him

to declare on film, I am a Jew and my mother is a Jew.”

He Must Hear Voices

Then Uncle Tom starts to veer between being a savant and being an idiot.

The savant says: “only Muslims can heal their own rage.” But after

multiplying two 15 digit numbers in his head and correctly determining the

square root of the result also in his head, another voice in his head says you

must bash Israel and the Jews and his idiocy rapidly takes hold. Poor

Uncle Tom drops his pants, starts speaking in tongues and dribbling from the

mouth. The voices in his head keep saying “remember it’s all the fault of

Israel and the Jews.”

Although the rage is self-generated, the weasely uncle says that the West and

particularly the Jewish world should to help cure Muslim rage. How does

Uncle Tom propose that this hatred can be reduced? It’s the good old left

wing chicken soup cure—give up the “settlements’ in the Land of Israel.

Uncle Tom sinks ever deeper into incoherence by proposing that irrational

rage can be cured by trying to legitimize it As a psychologist, Uncle Tom

should rejoin the Kremlin Institute of Psychoanalysis and as a student of

history it’s obvious that he missed class on the day they studied the lessons of

Czechoslovakia.

Bad Psychology And Bad History

In the U. S. when someone acts out on their rage they wind up in a mental

institution or some such place as Joliet or Attica.. With a billion Muslims

it becomes a much more difficult task. But rather than catering to Muslim

rage as Uncle Tom suggests, the West should face it down, as the U. S.

is doing in Afghanistan and elsewhere.

There are still a few bastions in the world that won’t roll over for the

Muslims—China, India, Russia and America—and the West has the

arsenal to handle even a billion Muslims if necessary, although I do not

believe such a showdown will develop. What is more likely is that Muslim

societies will implode rather than explode.

REAL WAR, PHONY WAR

The Arabs in the Land of Israel are conducting a real war. Just look at the

number of casualties compared to the number of fighters they send out to

battle. Their fighters include suicide bombers, bomb layers, snipers and

operators of mortars. This does not take into account rock throwers who rack

up some casualties. In addition, the Arabs have done a good job of disrupting

important segments of the Israeli economy—particularly tourism—and

generating an unusual level of wariness in the Jewish population. They have

destroyed an Israeli tank and its crew and are regularly lobbing mortar shells

and rockets at Israeli towns. The low level of casualties is only due to the poor marksmanship of the gunners. But mark my words—they will improve.

Much like the “phony” war France was conducting against Nazi Germany

until the day that the Germans attacked Holland and Belgium and skirted the “impregnable” Maginot Line, Israel is conducting a “phony” war against the

Arabs’ real war.

It is very simple to recognize that it’s a “phony” war. Look at what Israel is

employing—planes, tanks, missile boats and the best army in the Middle East. Then count the casualties that Israel is inflicting against the Arabs—10 or 15 a day.

Compare the efficiency of the “best” army against the rag-tag guerillas. Get

the picture? The very-sick-and-very-much-lying Israeli leadership is not

allowing its Army to protect its citizens.

Prime Minister Sharon—the toothless Lion of Judah—and his leftwing and

gutless flunkies are putting the lives of Israeli airmen and sailors needlessly

at risk just to have them attack empty buildings for the 10th or maybe 15th

time. They are still warning the terrorists to evacuate buildings before they

are attacked. To add injury to injury, the IDF has surrounded 300 terrorists,

but their plan is to arrest them rather than kill them. A very clever ploy by the

Israelis—they can arrest these terrorists in order to free them next time Yasir

Arab-rat promises to be a good boy.

When, if ever, can we expect Sharon to launch a real war—similar to the one

he is accused of carrying out by the media—against the whole Arab terrorist

structure in the Land of Israel? Maybe when he gets a real wake-up-call—like someone ushering a determined suicide bomber into his office, or his Jerusalem

apartment, or his ranch home.

RESPONSE TO A WALL STREET JOURNAL ARTICLE

This following letter was written in response to a Wall Street Journal article

titled ”Palestinian Violence Has Forced Israel, U. S. To Face Tough Choices”.

The authors trotted out the usual, “you cannot be too tough with the

Palestinians” argument.

March 7, 2002

Mr. Karby Leggett

The Wall Street Journal

Dear Mr. Leggett:

How "harsh" and "brutal" are Israel's continuing attacks on empty Arab police

stations, headquarters and naval bases. Mr. Sharon's late and ambiguous response

to Arab terror only serves to confirm to the terrorists and their supporters that they do

not have very much to fear from the Israelis. When the IDF turns its guns on the

houses and neighborhoods from which terrorist fire and bombers are coming while

the terrorists are still in those buildings then will the Arabs get the message that their

attacks won't pay.

As for the Arab workers, why should they have the privilege of working in Israel while

their brothers are continuing the carnage. No Arabs should be allowed in Israel and

no Arab vehicles should be allowed on the streets or highways. Round the clock

curfews with shoot to kill orders for the police and army could take care of that

situation. Any Israel bringing in an Arab or hiring an Arab should be hit with a stiff

fine and thrown into jail for a month. Let the Israelis learn to do their own work--they

do have a 10% unemployment rate.

Please do not use the State Department and its current leader Colon Bowel

as a weathervane for rationality or the promotion of peace in the world. State

has opposed the listing of every Arab and Islamic organization on the terrorist

blacklist. The Department along with the FBI and the CIA belong at the top of

the list of those culpable for 9-11.

By the way, despite the approvals voiced by State and the press-release-fueled

media, there was a history that preceded the Saudi "peace proposal". Even though

it didn't belong to them, the Arabs controlled all of the land they now want back. They

used the land to attack Israel. And as for the "Palestinian" squatters who lived there,

where were their demands for a "Palestinian State". The whole idea of a "Palestinian

State" is a clever public relations ploy which would hold as much interest for the

world as the demand for a Tamil State if it wasn’t for Arab oil.

You note that Mr. Saudi will try to get the Arab states to recognize Israel's right to

exist if Israel is amenable to committing suicide. I suggest that if the Arabs stop

harassing the Jewish State, Israel should recognize the rights of the Arab states to

exist. By the way, Saudi Arabia only exists because of the United States. If you have

any doubts about this statement, just ask Saddam Hussein.

I know that journalists operate under a tight deadline and, often, do not have time for

adequate research. So permit me to bring you up to speed. Whenever you write

about an agreement or treaty to which a Muslim country is a party,include

Muhammad's dictum that a Muslim nation should only observe a treaty until it is

strong enough to defeat the infidel signer. Don't check this with Saddam Hussein,

just look into the Koran.

Sincerely,

Emanuel L. Strunin

“SHABBOS GOY” SPECULATIONS

It’s pretty widely known that the 20th Century icon, Elvis Pressley,

when he was a teenager, was a “Shabbos goy” for a rabbi and his wife

in Tennessee. As has been recounted by the Jewish couple, Elvis was always

polite and went out of his way to be helpful. Of course, this prompts one to

speculate how many other “celebrities” also may have been “Shabbos goyim”

and what their experiences may have been. So allow me to speculate.

If Arnold Schwarzenegar was a ”Shabbos goy”, did his Nazi father find out

and grab Arnold by the triceps and drag him away?

If Beethoven was a “Shabbos goy” did he have to give up the job when he

couldn’t hear the church bells toll vespers on Friday evenings?

If Picasso was a “Shabbos goy” was he fired when his blue period interfered

with the joy of Shabbos?

If Christopher Columbus was a “Shabbos goy” did he quit when he found

out that he was Jewish?

If Nero was a “Shabbos goy” was he fired because he insisted on playing

his fiddle while the candles burned?

If Bill Clinton was a “Shabbos goy” did they let him go because he always was trying

to sneak into the girls’ bedroom?

If George W. Bush was a “Shabbos goy” did they ask him not to come back after the 15th time he referred to himself as a sobbahs yog?

If John Gotti was a “Shabbos goy” did he lose his job after a hail of bullets

followed him through the windows and doors every time he went into the

house?

If Marlon Brando was a “Shabbos goy” was he fired after the first time he showed up

wearing a torn undershirt?

If Jesse Owens was a “Shabbos goy” was he dropped for trying to use the

Shabbos candelabra as an Olympic torch?

If Yasir Arafat was a “Shabbos goy” did they throw him out for continually

yelling that the house belonged to him?

If Kenneth Lay was a “Shabbos goy” did he lose his job as soon as they

realized the candlesticks were missing?

If Rene Richards was a “Shabbos goy” did they kick him out as soon as they

realized he was a “Shabbos girl”?

If Michael Jordan was a “Shabbos goy” was he finally let go for dribbling

a basketball in the living and taking jump shots at the dining room chandelier?

If Abraham Lincoln was a “Shabbos goy” did he quit when the bar mitzvah

boy kept grabbing his stovepipe hat to wear instead of a yarmulka?

Last question: with all of the Elvis sightings has anyone reported seeing him

performing any functions of a “Shabbos goy” in the sightings?

ACROSS MY RADAR SCREEN

Quote From Colon

In the Quote of the Day from The New York Times, Colon Bowel states:

“If you declare war against the Palestinians thinking that you can solve the

problem by seeing how many Palestinians can be killed, I don’t know that

that leads us anywhere.”

Shmuck, if you kill enough of them, it leads to a reduction in the number

of terrorists that are attacking you.

HEADLINES AND COMMENTS

Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.

Barenboim To Play In Ramallah

Maybe if he plays Wagner the Arabs will leave.

Peres: I’m Sorry I Joined This Government

Join the crowd!

Thanks To War, Opium Poppies Blanket Afghan Countryside Again

U. S Drug Czar: Afghan Farmers Have To Make A Living.

A Desert Kingdom Takes The Spotlight

Will we see their peace proposal show or their 9-11 WTC/Pentagon show?

Former Activist Found Guilty Of Shooting Cop

Shall we call him Black terrorist H. Rap Brown

or Muslim Cleric Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin?

Efrat Bans Arabs

Good advice travels slowly in Israel

More Citizens To Have Guns

Does this mean that the Israeli Government will distribute guns

to Jews instead of to Arabs? Wowee.

Israel Destroys Arafat’s Gaza Office

Does this mean he has to move all of his files and phones

to his disaster recovery site? How inconvenient.

Air Force Blasts Afghan Sites

Did Colon Bowel advise restraint?

Saudi Surgeon Performs First Uterus Transplant

Now a camel can give birth to an Arab

State Department Refuses To Name Palestinian Terrorists

Has the State Department joined the President’s War on Terrorism?

Letterman VS Koppel

If ABC cans Koppel he can move “Night Line” to al Jazeera.

QUOTES I LIKE

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told

me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers and a bartender.

Rodney Dangerfield

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked

than with Ulysses S. Grant in full military regalia.

Mark Twain

I want a man who is kind and understanding.

Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Murphy’s First Law

Everything takes longer than you think.

Murphy’s Second Law

It is impossible to make anything foolproof,

because fools are so ingenious

Murphy’s Eleventh Law

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