SOCIAL ETIQUETTE

Regardless of your position in the corporation, you need to have a working knowledge of the rules of social graces and etiquette; however at this level it is inexcusable to be ignorant of these rules.

Many of these rules of social etiquette may seem non-essential and to the untrained may seem awkward. The extent to which you adhere to these rules of social graces and etiquette is up to you but remember if you plan on being successful in business it is necessary to be able to move with the ease in any social or business occasion.

DEFINITIONS:

Good manners is simply doing the kindest most thoughtful thing at all times.

The rules of social etiquette are written rules and must be learnt.

Protocol is more specific. These are rules which are devised for specific situations and must be learnt.

When you have been invited to be a guest in someone’s home:

  • Be on time, if the invitation is for 7:00 pm arrive at 7:00 pm but not a minute sooner, if you arrive up to 7:30 that will be acceptable; later than 7:30 borders on being rude.
  • Be well groomed and approximately dressed for the occasion. If in doubt ask someone who knows.
  • Treat the staff and other guests graciously
  • Do not touch or show extreme interest in your host’s property
  • Accept only one per dinner drink
  • Sit upright at the table
  • Keep your elbows off the table
  • Never wipe your silverware with your napkin before eating. This could be insulting to your host or hostess
  • Take a seat only after your hostess is seated, unless directed otherwise. Malestake a seat after all the female diners are seated
  • Spread napkin on your lap and wait until your host/hostess starts eating before you start
  • Do not make comments about the food you are served
  • If you are puzzled about a strange food, or what silverware to use, watch your hostess and do as she does
  • Do not add salt or pepper to your meal before tasting it
  • Do not help yourself to a dish when you have been asked to pass it
  • Sit with a straight spine and bring food to your mouth. Do not lower your head to the food
  • Never ask for a second helping; if offered you may accept
  • Do not let the food linger on your fork or spoon, once you have picked up the food, eat it promptly
  • Do not cut up all the food on your plate. Cut only one piece at a time
  • Eat in small bites, chew quietly and slowly with your mouth closed to avoid making a noise
  • Do not speak with food in your mouth
  • When eating rolls never cut it with a knife and butter the entire surface, break off a bite size piece and butter it and eat that piece. Continue in that manner.
  • Never make a sandwich with your bread, rolls or fried dumplings. Eat the meal as served
  • Eat soup from the side of the spoon, scooping away from you
  • It is hardly necessary to tilt the soup bowl if you do, tilt it away from you
  • Use your napkin to lightly wipe your lips, never your face or other body parts
  • Do not sneeze or cough into your napkin. Use your handkerchief
  • If you must cough or sneeze more than once, leave the table
  • Place your napkin to the left of your plate only when all diners have finished the entire meat.
  • Close your knife and fork when you have finished eating.
  • Never put used silver on the table cloth
  • Place spoons for soup, dessert, tea etc on the plate or saucer. Do not leave it in the cup or bowl
  • Wait until your hostess makes the first move to leave the table before you do
  • Reposition your chair as you get up from the table
  • Males should seat the females to their right
  • When a woman is getting up from the table the male to her left should stand and assist whether she gets up and on her return the male to her right should rise

GENERAL MANNERS FOR MALES

Males should:-

  • Open doors for women
  • Ascend stairs behind a woman and descend in front of her
  • Never ask personal questions of women e.g. age, marital status etc.
  • Be careful of the use of flattery although, a genuine compliment is acceptable
  • Carry or lift heavy objects for women
  • Never extend hand for a hand shake at social occasions unless the woman extends her hand first

RESTAURANT MANNERS

  • Accept or decline an invitation to dine in a restaurant at once, do not keep your host waiting for an answer
  • If you must cancel your date, get your host personally on the telephone and apologize if you must leave a message or have someone else call, call as soon as possible
  • If your host doesn’t show at the restaurant after 20 minutes of waiting, call his/her office
  • Be on time. It is rude to keep your host waiting as it is for him to keep you waiting
  • If you arrive first, you may go to the table and sit. Do not put the napkin on your lap or order drinks or food until he arrives
  • If you arrive as a group at your restaurant table, wait until your host seats you.
  • Wait until your hosts begin eating. Do not sip your drink until your host takes a sip of his/her drink
  • Take only one drink before lunch and one glass of wine with the meal
  • If it is a business lunch, engage in some small talk before getting to the business
  • Do not call the waiter when you are someone else’s guest. Allow your host to deal with the waiter. Tell the host what you want or need and he/she should take care of it. E.g. “Waiter, please bring my guest another glass. This one is chipped”.
  • Be careful of the dress code in the restaurant
  • Never complain about the restaurant or the service
  • When you have been someone’s guest always write a thank you note.
  • Watch the noise volume at your table
  • Avoid table-hopping

COCKTAIL PARTY MANNERS

The guest has responsibilities in terms of behaviour

  • Reply within a week to your invitation
  • Do not bring a guest without having called first to see it would be alright
  • to do so. Give the name of your guest.
  • It is rude to arrive at 7:40 for a cocktail party schedule for 6:30 – 8:00 pm.
  • Hold your drinks in your left hand
  • Pass up sticky hors d’oeuvres
  • Do not be a glutton it is definitely not a plus to your image. 3 hors d’oeuvre
  • from one platter is enough
  • Try not to smoke in congested areas. Find an open corner somewhere
  • Circulate among guests. Do not monopolize the host or guest of honour
  • Do not try to talk business with someone at a cocktail party. Call him in office that next morning.
  • Drink modestly
  • Send a short thank you note to your host within the week

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