A Guide to Chinese Etiquette
“If you visit a country, ask what its customs are.”
From Li Ji (The Book of Rites)
A Confucian classic
Circa 500 B.C.
Good manners are basically the same in every country. There are universal signs of welcome in most cultures, and China is no different. A smile, a hello (ni-hao) and a handshake will be understood and reciprocated. But there are a few subtleties to Chinese culture that are best known by travelers so as not to be misunderstood. It is only in the past 15 years that China has finally become part of the global village. Although China is use to tourists, please remember that in a country of 1.27 billion people, Westerners will never blend in and will always stand out as waiguoren (wie-gwoh-wern), which literally means “foreign country person.”
Because we don’t easily blend in, the spotlight is on us. It’s best not to do anything that will draw unneeded attention to the group. While we are traveling, the Chinese will view us as a delegation representing the values of Choate Rosemary Hall as well as the United States. Therefore we must be careful not do anything that will reflect negatively on our school or nation.
Basic Niceties
The following is a Latinzation of common Chinese characters known as pinyin:
ni hao (knee-how) hello (greeting in person)
wei, ni nawei (way, knee na-way) hello (phone greeting)
xie xie ni (shi-shi-nay) thank you
qing (ching) please
zai jian (dzai jee-an) good-bye
duibuqi (dui bu chee) excuse me
These are few simple phrases that will help you to converse. Although the Chinese are a warm and friendly people, it is best not to strike up a conversation with a total stranger but rather to wait until you are approached. Unlike teenagers in the United States, who have little inhibitions about hugging their friends or playfully sparring with members of the opposite sex, this is not customary in China.
Nonverbal Communication
Never point to something with your head or your foot; using a body part other than one’s hands to make a gesture is considered uncouth. Don’t set your feet casually up on the table. This is considered disrespectful. When handling an object—like a teacup or business card— to someone else, use both hands, not one. This is a sign of respect.
Non-Asian visitors to China should expect to be stared at occasionally. Staring at someone is not considered rude or disrespectful by the Chinese. If you are unusual in appearance—if you are tall, blond, or wearing unusual clothing—expect to be stared at. Don’t take offense. The Chinese mean no harm by it. It is one of many cultural differences you will encounter.
Dress
The Chinese tend to be somewhat more conservative, but they are also pragmatic. A good rule of thumb is to dress appropriately both for the climate and the occasion. In summer short sleeves and pants are the norm for boys. For girls a simple dress or slacks are adequate. Girls should avoid tank tops, halter tops, sheer blouses, micro mini-skirts and/or short shorts. Shorts of conservative length may be worn by both genders, although it is best to not wear shorts at formal gatherings.
Table Manners
The Chinese eat family-style around long tables. Platters are placed in the middle of the table so while is quite acceptable to reach for food, it is seldom polite to handle food. Always try to use an implement like chopsticks or a porcelain spoon. In a formal dinning context, try to leave some food on your plate or your host may think that you have not had enough to eat..
The Chinese diet has few whole grains, and dairy products are hard to find. Unlike Europeans who are use to dining late and lingering over the dinner table, the Chinese eat earlier. Lunch is served at 11:30 a.m. and dinner is at 6 p.m. The last course is usually a piece of fruit.
Health and Personal Hygiene
On you trip there is one caveat your must follow. Don’t drink tap water! Chinese themselves don’t drink tap water and this is a wise piece of advice to follow. In every hotel, a member of the room staff will bring a thermos of boiling water as soon as you check in. If your supply runs short, just take your thermos to the main desk and ask for a refill. Bottled water is readily available. Always keep well hydrated; this helps to ward-off infections and permits the body to respond to the very hot Beijing weather efficiently.
Do not purchase and eat cooked food from street vendors—especially meat products—as this may produce gastric distress. Never eat raw vegetables. If you eat fruit, make sure that you wash and peel the fruit before you consume it.
Toiletries
Unless one is staying in western-style hotels, toilet facilities in China are invariably not what most visitors expect. Full toilet bowls are rare and many facilities lack hot running water. Also, the cleanliness of Chinese bathrooms do not compare to the standards of most western bathrooms. It is a good idea to bring tissues with one when using toilets in China. Also the Chinese do not use deodorant. So it is suggested that you pack what you need for the trip.
Gift Giving
In Chinese culture it is customary to give small gifts to hosts, teachers and others with whom one has established friendship or close working relationship. Such gifts as mementoes or small trinkets can be offered in a private moment. Small items such tee-shirts, key chains, cap with logos turn an ordinary items into mementoes which can be quite meaningful to the recipient. If you staying in the home of a Chinese host, an occasional gift of fruit is always appreciated.
Keep in mind that the practice of tipping with money at restaurants is not viewed as appropriate exchange. Although some of these establishments will a “service charge” as part of a bill.
Social Interactions
Good topics for conversation in China may revolve around such issues as the weather; reasons for coming to China; places one has traveled to—even China and United States history and culture would be suitable for discussion. The key is to remain pleasant and dispassionate in such conversations. Conversations which become “personal” or “opinionated” may create tension. If this is the case, it is best redirect the conversation to more benign subjects.
If conversing in English, remember to eliminated slang or colloquial expressions, or culturally-specific metaphors. The Chinese will not be able to interpret such expressions.
Foreign visitors in China will always be treated with deference. Chinese hosts will go out of their way to be attentive to their guests. Always accept such kind consideration with graciousness, and never give the impression this courtesy is expected, or demanded.
Be mindful that Chinese culture has a two-thousand year history. There are very clear strictures about what is acceptable, necessary and honorable, and what is not. Be gracious and have fun!
Works Cited
Seligman, Scott D. Chinese Business Etiquette. New York, New York: Warner Books, 1999.
Sinclair, Kevin and Po-Yee, Iris Wong. Culture Shock! China: A Guide to Customs and Etiquette. Portland, Oregon: Graphic Arts Center Publishing Company, 1999.
Weiner, Rebecca, Murphy, Margaret and Li, Albert. Living in China. San Francisco, California: China Books and Periodicals, 1997.
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