March Meeting: March 8, 2011 at 7:30 P.M.
The Hills Church of Christ, 6300 NE Loop 820, North Richland Hills
Correction from
Last Month
We want to extend
a very warm, loving,
and understanding “Welcome”
to our new friends who attended
the January meeting:
Debbie Torrez
for the loss of her son
No Birthday Table
in March
Due to the Alan Pederson concert, there will be no Birthday Table at this month’s meeting.
March & April birthdays will be celebrated at the April meeting.
Love Gifts
Audrey Heath
in memory of
her son
Marty and Kemp Akeman
in memory of
their son
If you wish for your love gift to be listed in a particular month’s newsletter, it must be submitted by the 15th of the previous month.
Please send your Love Gifts to:
Steve Roberts
3240 Jetranger Rd.
Hurst, TX 76053
To those of you
who are newly bereaved
and receiving our newsletter
for the first time,
we warmly invite you to
The Compassionate Friends.
We are a self-help organization
of parents, grandparents
and adult siblings
who have experienced
the death of a loved one.
We offer
understanding and support through our monthly meetings,
a lending library,
support materials
and loving telephone listeners.
Please do not be afraid
to come to a gathering.
Every other person in the room has lost a child,
grandchild or sibling.
They come because they feel
the need to be with someone else
who understands.
We know it takes courage
to attend that first gathering,
but those who do come find
an atmosphere of understanding
from others who have experienced
the grief that you have now.
Nothing is asked of you.
There are no dues or fees
and you do not have to speak.
There is a special feeling at meetings
of The Compassionate Friends.
We meet the second Tuesday
of every month.
Upcoming Meetings
Mar. 8th – Angels Across the USA Tour with Alan Pederson in the chapel downstairs
Apr. 12th – Follow up discussion on “Signs from our Children”
May 10th – Information on the National Conference in July
Jun. 14th, 7 P.M. – Butterfly Release
at Holy Family Catholic Church
2011 Meeting Dates
July 12th, Aug. 9th, Sept. 13th,
Oct. 11th, Nov. 8th, Dec. 13th
Driving Directions
From East 820, exit Rufe Snow; turn left (north) onto Rufe Snow; turn left (west) at light; stay on access road; turn left (south) at stop sign onto Meadow Lakes Dr.
From West 820, exit Meadow Lakes Dr. & turn left (south) at stop sign.
The Hills Church of Christ is on the south side of the loop. Use the northeast entrance with the covered circular drive. There will be a security guard on duty.
Church phone: 817-281-0773
TCF Wristbands
TCF wristbands, on which is written, “Forever in My Heart,” framed by two butterflies, can be purchased at chapter meetings for $3 each.
TCF Fort Worth Chapter
Steering Committee
Chapter Leaders
Jeff & Marty Martin
817-991-9121
Treasurer
Steve Roberts
817-914-8689
Hospitality
Marty Akeman
817-636-5645
Christine Anderson
817-300-6196
Lydia Moore
817-829-3801
Newsletter
Becky Long
817-275-9297
Librarian
Patty Gallagher
817-861-1491
Committee Members
Crys Aigner
Joy & Neil Brenckman
Lori Dean Carver
Charles & Genie Dean
Janet DuPertuis
Cheryl Dean Lopez
Regional Coordinators
Joan and Bill Campbell
972-935-0673
Fort Worth Chapter Website
www.thecompassionatefriendsfw.com
Thanks to Carrie Wallace of DFW Personal Assistant for designing and maintaining our web page.
Need to Talk?
Listed below are parents, grandparents and siblings
who have walked
where you are today.
If you are having a difficult day
and just want to talk, please call.
Addiction
Helen Dement
817-431-6964
Auto
Jeff & Marty
817-991-9121
Multiple Loss/
Loss of a Grandchild
Lydia
817-829-3801
Drowning
Debi
817-523-5037
Long Term Illness
Marty
817-636-5645
Homicide/Only Child
Steve
817-914-8689
Suicide
Glinda
817-485-3772
Siblings
Cheryl
817-624-7043
Want to share?
If you have read an article,
poem or book that has helped you along your grief journey,
please share it with our newsletter editor.
We also encourage you to submit
your own works of poetry or
prose for our newsletter.
Thanks to Linda Person for sharing an original work
in this month’s newsletter.
TCF National Office
The Compassionate Friends
P. O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
Fax: 630-990-0246
Toll-free: 877-969-0010
9 A.M. - 5 P.M., CST, Mon.-Fri.
Email:
Website:
www.compassionatefriends.org
Facebook:
The Compassionate Friends/USA
National Conference
Reservations are now being accepted at the Sheraton Bloomington Hotel, Minneapolis South for those attending TCF’s National Conference July 15-17. Room rate is $129 per night for a King or Double Room, single or double occupancy; $139 for triple and $149 for quad. These special reduced rates are available on stays from July 10-19 if the reservation is placed by June 21 (subject to availability). These are specially negotiated rates available only for those attending the national conference. Reserve your accommodations by calling 952-835-7800 (make sure to mention that you are with TCF) or by clicking the link on the national website’s national conference page.
Chapter News
Angels Across the USA Tour
Our March meeting will take place in the chapel downstairs and feature the music and message of bereaved parent, singer and songwriter Alan Pederson. Please see the flyer at the back of this newsletter for more information.
Signs From Our Children
Thanks to Crys Aigner for presenting “Signs From Our Children” at the February meeting. Due to time constraints and the positive response from those in attendance, we will continue the discussion of different ways our loved ones communicate to us from the afterlife at the April meeting.
Butterfly Release in June!
Our annual butterfly release will be held this year on June 14th, at
7 P.M. at Holy Family Catholic Church. Join us to release a beautiful butterfly in memory of your loved one. Feel free to invite friends or other family members to this special event. We ask that you bring a dish to share for the potluck afterwards.
Thanks to George Hollis for donating our chapter’s storage facility at Jay’s Self Storage, 8032 White Settlement Road.
Chapter News
Firemen’s 5K
The 13th annual Firemen’s 5K and One Mile Fun Run will be held at 8 A.M. on Saturday, May 28th, at Arborlawn United Methodist Church, 5001 Briarhaven, Fort Worth.
All proceeds from this race of over 800 runners will benefit the Fort Worth Chapter of The Compassionate Friends and The WARM Place. This is a major source of funds for our chapter.
If you or your company would like to sponsor the race, please see the form at the back of this newsletter.
Volunteers are also needed to pass out packets, point out the route or distribute water to the runners. If you can commit to a Thursday evening meeting and the Saturday morning of Memorial Day weekend, please call Lori Carver at 817-819-5530 or e-mail .
We invite you to join us to walk or run in memory of your loved one. Online registration is now available at www.active.com. Registration fees are $18, until May 15th, $20 May 16th to 24th, and $25 on race day.
Watch for registration forms and pledge sheets at chapter meetings and in future newsletters.
Steering Committee Meeting
Our next Steering Committee meeting will be April 2, 2011. Membership in the Steering Committee is open to all chapter members; please join us as we plan our future programs.
I Know Now,
The Dream Was Real
Five years have come and gone, and yet it still seems like only yesterday you greeted me with a hug and a kiss. You said... "Oh mama, if anything happens to me, let them use everything they can to save someone else, I'm not gonna need it where I'm going." I didn’t take it seriously, because everyone knows that we are not to bury our own children. Right?
I didn’t believe, until 5 days later. My worst nightmare seemed so real. In my heart and mind you're just a breath away. It was sooo hard for me after you transitioned from this life to the next.
I felt so alone, so empty, but I realize I was missing a part of myself, that missing part was you. No one knew that everyday for the past few years, I kept asking God to please let me wake up. I knew I had to be dreaming. No one knew that I was angry with God, not because you weren’t here, but because I wasn’t there. No one knew that I asked him to forgive me, and He did. I know now that God couldn’t wake me up, because I wasn’t asleep - the dream was real. I know now that you loved me so much, you didn’t want me to be there to watch you take your last breath, I know now that I can stop feeling less than a mother because I wasn’t there to say I love you, and embrace you like so many times before when you were a little boy. I know now that you could never stand to see me cry, I know now that all throughout Christmas day you were preparing me and your brother (Toby) for your final flight, I know now that through sharing your unselfish act of kindness,
(continued on next page)
Losing a child to death is statistically improbable, yet all parents harbor the concept as their worst fear, the stuff of nightmares, cold sweats and anxiety.
But when our children die, the anxiety of that possibility pales against the soul wrenching horror of the reality. At first we freeze in time as our focus is on the primal…breathe, drink water. After the initial shock has ceased to control our every moment, we seek answers. Can I get through this? Do I want to get through this? How have others managed to continue living after their child has died? I have disconnected from my friends and even my family. I don’t want to go forward…the pain is too intense. Death would be a mercy. Life is no longer a joy. My heart is broken. I will never see my child again.
If we are fortunate enough to find a Compassionate Friends Group, we meet people who have taken this nightmare journey… and survived. Our first meeting is the most difficult…at my first meeting the only word I could say was my son’s name. Later, we tell our story to those have experienced the death of their child and find that talking to kindred souls can be cathartic. If we persevere and continue to attend meetings, get to know other parents, participate in the group discussions, cry with others and smile at the memories of their child…we begin the healing process.
Now our lives are forever
entwined with those of other parents who have lost a child to death. Like the Celtic knot, we are now part of an eternal paradigm: we are strands in the knot, weaving our stories into each other’s lives. This interlace of our lives is a permanent and beautiful blending of souls seeking comfort from one another. Our reality is shared by others; we lean on them, they lean on us. We give, we receive.
Many friends from our lives before the death of our child hesitate to mention our child’s name and even fear talking about our child’s life and listening to our memories. But we don’t want to forget our child as that would be the worst betrayal. We want to talk about our child’s life and keep their spirit with us always. Those in our lives who do not share this feeling are not part of our eternal paradigm; they will never be entwined with us as we complete our journey on this earth.
The Celtic knot, the symbol of eternity, is symbolic of the relationships we have found at Compassionate Friends. These lives are forever woven into ours, we accept each other’s perspec-tives and share their sorrow and the joy of their memories. There is a place in our Celtic knot for all parents who have lost a child. As other parents join us, they are enfolded forever into the eternal paradigm of healing and compassion.
Annette Mennen Baldwin
Katy, TX TCF
In memory of my son, Todd M. Mennen
July 24, 2005
I Know Now,
The Dream Was Real
(continued from previous page)
you were entered into the 2010 Lifegift calendar, honored by placing a rose on the 2011 Rose Bowl Parade Donor float, I know now that you have touched/ enhanced the lives of many, I know now that you want me to stay awhile longer to watch over your girls...Christal, Danyell, Breana, & Jada, I know now that just recently a brief write-up of your story was placed in the UT Southwestern new 2011 book "Person to Person" donor families and recipients, I know now that you want me to continue the journey of sharing your unique story, about the gift of life, I know now that when I brought pink flowers to put in your vase, I could clearly hear you say..." Ah mama! and I said..."They’re not for you silly, they’re for me," I know now that I have to wake up to continue the journey you started, I know now that all things work together for them that love the Lord, Chris I know that I'm not dreaming this is really, really true, that you're sitting here next to me while I'm writing this letter to you! Happy Birthday, son. Love, Mama
By Linda Person
TCF, Ft. Worth, TX