Parent-Child Relationship

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THEPARENT-CHILDRELATIONSHIP:AFAMILYSTRENGTH

ByTawanaBandy,B.S.andKristinAndersonMoore,Ph.D.August2008

BACKGROUND

Thegreatmajorityofparentshavepositiveandnurturingrelationshipswiththeirchildren.1Infact,findingsfromresearchshowthatparentsandtheiradolescentchildrengenerallyhavecloseemo-tionalties.2-3Thesefindingsruncountertoanecdotalportrayalsofparentsascluelessanduncon-

nected,especiallywhenitcomestorelatingtotheiradolescentchildren.4 Recentlyreleasedparent-

reporteddatafromthe2003NationalSurveyofChildren’sHealth(NSCH),whichhasaverylarge,nationallyrepresentativesample,provideawindowintoparent-childrelationshipsbychildren’sspe-cificages.ChildTrendsdrewonthesedatatolookatthreemarkersoftheserelationshipsforparentslivingwithchildrenbetweentheagesof6and17:parent-childcloseness,thedegreetowhichparentsshareideasandtalkaboutthingsthatreallymatterwiththeirchildren,andparents’acquaintancewiththeirchildren’sfriends.Ouranalysesshowthatalthoughsomedeclinesareseenintheseareasaschildrengetolder,highparentalinvolvementandpositiveparent-childinteractionsendurethrough-outchildhoodintotheteenageyearsformostadolescents.

OVERALLFACTS

Datafromthe2003NationalSurveyofChildren’sHealthindicate:

•Mostparentsreportedfeelingveryclosetotheirchildren(87percent).

•Thegreatmajorityofparentsreportedthattheycanshareandtalkverywellaboutthingsthatreallymatterwiththeirchildren(75percent).

•Nearlyallparentsreportedthattheyhavemeteithermostoralloftheirchildren’sfriends(84percent).

CLOSENESSOFRELATIONSHIPBETWEENPARENTS ANDCHILDREN

Fewpeoplequestionthevalueofbondingbetweenparentsandyoungchildren.Whilelesscommonlynoted,closerelationshipswithparentshavealsobeenassociatedwithpositiveoutcomesforadoles-cents,suchasbetteracademicperformanceandfewerproblembehaviors.5-6TheNSCHaskedpar-entstoassesstheirclosenesswiththeirchildren.Thegreatmajorityofparents(87percent)reportedbeingveryclosetotheirchildren.Notsurprisingly,agreaterpercentageofparentsof6-year-olds(96percent)reportedbeingveryclosetotheirchildrenthanparentsof17-year-olds(76percent).How-ever,forthemostpart,parentsandchildrenmaintainedclosebonds,withthree-quartersoftheserela-tionshipsdescribedasveryclose,evenwhenthechildwas17.

•Amongparentswholivedwiththeirchildren(ages6-17),mostreportedfeelingveryclosetotheirchildren,evenastheygrewintoadolescence(87percent).

•Onlyabout13percentofparentsreportedthattheywerejustsomewhatclosetotheirchildren.

•Lessthan1percentofparentsreportedthattheirrelationshipwasnotveryclose.

TheverylargesamplesizeoftheNSCHallowsustoexamineparentalclosenesstochildrenbysingleyearofage.FindingsfromtheparentreportdatafromtheNationalSurveyofChildren’sHealthcomplementandextendadolescent-reportdatafromtheNationalLongitudinalSurveyofYouth.7Al-thoughmostparentsreportedbeingveryclosetotheirchildrenatallages,thisclosenessdeclinedsomewhatwiththeageofthechild,asshowninFigure1.

FIGURE 1

100

PercentageofParentsof6-to-17-Year-OldsWhoReport

Feeling VeryClosetoTheirChildren

96959493928987848279

67891011121314151617

AgeofChild

COMMUNICATIONBETWEEN PARENTS ANDCHILDREN

Goodcommunicationisanimportantparentingskill.8Parentswhodiscussimportantmatters—suchasacademicperformance,puberty,anddruguse—providetheirchildrenwithknowledgethatcanhelpthemleadmoreproductiveandsaferlives.9Inaddition,conversationsaboutserioustopicscon-veytochildrenthatparentsareconcernedwithandinterestedintheirlives.

TheNationalSurveyofChildren’sHealthaskedparentstowhatdegreetheycanshareideasandtalkaboutthingsthatreallymatterwiththeirchildren.About75percentofparentsreportedthattheywereabletoshareandtalkaboutthingsthatreallymatteredwiththeirchildrenverywell.Theper-centagedeclinedwiththeageofthechild,with82percentofparentsof6-to11-year-oldsand70percentofparentsof12-to17-year-oldsreportingthattheycouldshareideasandtalkwiththeirchildrenverywellaboutthingsthatreallymattered.Thesefindingsindicatethatcommunicationbe-tweenparentsandchildrenisrelativelyhigh,evenforparentsofchildrenattheadolescentstage,whencommunicationcanbeagreaterchallenge.

•Thegreatmajorityofparentswithchildrenages6-17reportedthattheycouldshareideasandtalkverywellwiththeirchildrenaboutthingsthatreallymattered(75percent).

•Amongparentsofchildrenages6-17,about2percentofparentsreportedthattheycouldnotshareandtalkaboutthingsthatreallymatteredverywellwiththeirchildren(1percentatages6-

11and2percentatages12-17).Theremainder(about23percent)reportedthattheycouldshareideasandtalkaboutthingsthatreallymatteredsomewhatwell(seeTable1).

AsshowninFigure2,theproportionofparentswhoreportedbeingabletocommunicatewiththeirchildrenaboutmeaningfultopicsdeclinedsomewhatovertime,especiallyintheearlyteens,butthenstabilizedandneverfellbelow60percent.

FIGURE 2

100

PercentageofParentsof6-to17-Year-OldsWhoReport BeingAble

ToTalkAboutThingsThatReallyMatterVeryWellWithTheir

Children

838383828079777370686767

67891011121314151617

AgeofChild

PROPORTIONOFCHILDREN’SFRIENDS THAT PARENTS HAVEMET

Researchersfindthatparentalawarenessofchildren’sfriendsisanimportantpartofparenting.10Forparents,knowingtheirchildren’sfriendscanhaveatwo-foldeffect:itcanhelppreempttheirchil-dren’sinvolvementinnegativesocialactivities,anditcankeepparentsawareoftheirchildren’sso-cialbehaviors.Inaddition,researchfindsthatparentswhomonitortheirchildren’sfriendshipstendtoraisemoresociallyadeptchildren.11 Indeed,ofthe10rulesthattheNationalCenterforMissing

ExploitedChildrenprovidesparents,partofrulenumberone—makingsuretoknowwherechil-drenarelocatedatalltimes—isparentalawarenessofchildren’sfriends.12

TheNationalSurveyofChildren’sHealthaskedparentshowmanyoftheirchildren’sfriendstheyhavemet.Overall,about43percentofparentsofchildrenages6-11reportedmeetingalltheirchil-dren’sfriends,comparedwith30percentofparentsofadolescentsages12-17. Another42percentofparentsof6-to11-year-oldsreportedmeetingmostoftheirchildren’sfriends,whereas54percentofparentsof12-to17-year-oldsreportedmeetingmostoftheirchildren’sfriends.Thedatasuggestthatparentsofadolescentsaremorelikelytoknowmostratherthanalloftheirchildren’sfriends:

•Nearlyallresidentialparents(85percent)withchildrenbetweentheagesof6and17reported

thattheyhadmeteithermostoralloftheirchildren’sfriends(85percentatages6-11and85per-centatages12-17)

•Amongparentsofchildrenages6-17,lessthan1percentreportedthattheyhadmetnoneoftheirchildren’sfriends.

AsshowninFigure3,parentswerelesslikelytoknowalltheirchildren’sfriendswhenchildrenwereteens,buttheycontinuedtoknowmostfriends.

FIGURE 3

PercentageofParentsof6-to17-Year-OldsWhoReport MeetingAllor

Most ofTheirChildren'sFriends

100

454443434441353430282728

67891011121314151617

AgeofChild

MostFriends

AllFriends

CONCLUSION

Overall,wefoundthatmostparentsreportedclosebondswiththeirchildren,communicatedwiththeirchildrenaboutimportanttopics,andwereacquaintedwithmostoftheirchildren’sfriends.Thesefindingswereapparentevenamongparentsofadolescentchildren(ages12-17),whoareoftenpresumedtofeeldistantfromtheirchildren.13Itisimportanttonotethatouranalyseswerebasedex-clusivelyonparent-reporteddataforparentswholivewiththeirchild.However,datafromtheNa-tionalLongitudinalSurveyofYouthalsoshowedpositiveparent-childrelationshipsforasmallersampleofadolescentrespondents.14Giventheimportanceofpositivecommunicationandrelation-shipsforparentsandforchildrenofallages,thesefindingsarereassuring.Thefindingsalsosuggestthataminorityofparentscouldusehelpinstrengtheningtheirrelationshipswiththeirchildren.

Note:Unlessotherwisestated,allestimatesarebasedonweighteddatafromtheNationalSurveyofChildren’sHealth,2003.Availableat

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

TheauthorswouldliketothankSharonBzostekforhercarefulreviewofandhelpfulcommentsonthisfactsheet.

Editor:HarrietJ.Scarupa

TheNationalSurveyofChildren’s Healthisanationaltelephonesurveyinvolving102,353interviewscompletedbetweenJanuary2003andJuly2004.Onechildundertheageof18wasrandomlyselectedineachhouseholdasthesubjectofthesurvey.Theparentorguardianof

thechildservedastherespondent.DatawerecollectedbytheMaternalChildandHealthBu-reauincollaborationwiththeNationalCenterforHealthStatistics.

SURVEYQUESTIONS

Regarding[CHILD’sNAME]’sfriends,wouldyousaythatyouhavemetallofhis/herfriends,mostofhis/herfriends,someofhis/herfriends,ornoneofhis/herfriends?

Isyourrelationshipwith[CHILD’sNAME]veryclose,somewhatclose,notveryclose,notcloseatall?

Howwellcanyouand[CHILD’sNAME]shareideasortalkaboutthingsthatreallymatter?

Table1:Parent-ReportedDatafromtheNationalSurveyofChildHealth(NSCH)2003,ByAgeofChild6-17Years

AgeofChild
Responses / 6years / 7years / 8years / 9years / 10years / 11years / 6-11
years / 12years / 13years / 14years / 15years / 16years / 17years / 6-17years / 12-17
years
Percent ofParentsWhoAreClosetoTheirChildren
VeryClose / 9695949392899388848279787686%81
4567811712161720212213%18
------11111%<1
------
Somewhat
NotVery
NotClose
Percent ofParentsWhoCanShareIdeasandTalkAboutThingsThatReallyMatter
VeryWell / 8383838280798277737068676775%70
1616161719201722252930303023%28
11111111222332%2
Somewhat
NotVery
Percent ofParentsWhoHaveMetTheirChildren’sFriends
All / 4544434344414335343028272836%30
3839424142454249515457575749%54
1516141413131414141515151514%15
1111<1<1111<11<111%<1
Most
Some
None

Source:ChildTrends’analysesoftheNationalSurveyofChildren’sHealth,2003

REFERENCES

1Steinberg,L.(2005).Adolescence(7thed).NewYork:McGrawHill.

2PopulationReferenceBureaufortheDemographicandBehavioralSciencesBranch,CenterforPopulation

Research,NationalInstituteofChildHealthandHumanDevelopment,NationalInstitutesofHealth.(2000,August).Howdochildrenspendtheirtime?Children’sactivities,schoolachievement,andwell-being.(IssueNo.11).

3Collins,W.A.,Laursen,B.(2004).Parent-adolescentrelationshipsandinfluences. InR.LernerandL.Steinberg(Eds.),Handbookofadolescentpsychology.NewYork:Wiley.

4Rodgers,K.B.,Small,S.A.(1997). Livingwithyourteenager:Thechangingparent-childrelationship,

121.RetrievedNovember26,2007,from

5Hair,E.C.,Moore,K.A.,Garret,S.B.,Kinukawa,A.,Lippman,L.,Michelson,E.(2005).Theparentadolescentrelationshipscale.InK.A.MooreandL.Lippman(Eds.),Whatdochildrenneedtoflourish?Con-ceptualizingandmeasuringindicatorsofpositivedevelopment(pp.183-202).NewYork,NY:KluwerAca-demic/PleniumPress.

6Herman,M.R.,Dornbusch,S.M.,Herron,M.C.,Herting,J.R.(1997).Theinfluenceoffamilyregulation,

connection,andpsychologicalautonomyonsixmeasuresofadolescentfunctioning.Journal ofAdolescent

Research,12,34-67.

7Moore,K.A.,Guzman,L.,Hair,E.,Lippman,L.,Garret,S.(2004).Parent-teenrelationshipsandinterac-tions:Farmorepositivethannot(ResearchBrief).Washington,DC:ChildTrends.

8ChildDevelopmentInstitute

9U.S.DepartmentofEducation,OfficeofCommunicationsandOutreach(2005).Helpingyourchildbecomearesponsiblecitizen.Washington,DC:U.S.DepartmentofEducation.

10Feiring,C.,Lewis,M.(1993).Domothersknowtheirteenagers’friends?Implicationsforindividuationinearlyadolescence.Journalof YouthandAdolescence,22,337-354.

11Bearman,P.,Bruckner,H.,Brown,B.B.,Theobald,W.,Philber,S.(1999).Peerpotential:Makingthe

mostofhowteensinfluenceeachother.Washington,DC:NationalCampaigntoPreventTeenPregnancy.

12NationalCenterforMissingExploitedChildren

13Lee-Rude,M.(2000).Conflictbetweenparentsandteens-It’snormal!InformationSeriesforParentsand

CaregiversofTeens.Minneapolis,MN:UniversityofMinnesotaExtensionServices.

14Moore,K.A.,Guzman,L.,Hair,E.,Lippman,L.,Garret,S.(2004).

SUPPORTED BY:TheAnnieE.CaseyFoundation

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