HABIT # 5 ~ Seek first to Understand, then to be understood

Name ______PDCP Worksheet

Habit # 5 is the Key to Communication Pages 164-180

“Before I can walk in another’s shoes, I must first remove my own.” ~ Unknown

Glossary of Terms

Paradigm shift ~ when we change the way we think about and see things
Genuine listening ~ listening with your eyes, heart and ears!

The FIVE POOR LISTENING STYLES:

1. Spacing out ~ Ignoring the person talking to you while you are caught up in your own thoughts.

Example:

2. Pretend listening ~ Listening in a way that makes the other person feel like they are not important

Example:

3 Selective listening ~ Focusing in on only part of the conversation that interests you, rather than hearing out the person’s thoughts

Example:

4. Word listening ~ Focusing on the words only, not the body language or the meanings behind the

words.

Example:

5. Self-centered listening ~ Hearing others’ words from your own point of view only, thus turning the

conversation around to what interests you.

Example:

Self-evaluation ~ Are you a good listener?

How might you be rated as a listener by /
LOUSY EXCELLENT
Your best friend? / 1 2 3 4 5

Your parents?

/ 1 2 3 4 5
A team member/work colleague? / 1 2 3 4 5
A friend at school? / 1 2 3 4 5
Your teachers? / 1 2 3 4 5
Your partner? boyfriend, girlfriend) / 1 2 3 4 5

Some people are much better listeners than others. Do you know someone who is a really good listener? Someone who you always like to talk to? Explain.

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When we listen from our point of view, we usually reply in one of thee ways: p. 169

Judging ______

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Advising ______

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Probing ______

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Habit # 5 Worksheet ~page 2

Genuine Listening ~ is really listening. It’s trying to see the world through

someone else’s eyes. The response to this kind of listening is effective when emotions are high and the other person wants a listening ear. ~page 171

Responses: ‘Let me see if I understand what you’re saying’

‘Your feeling now is that…’

‘It seems to you that…’

‘So, as you see it…’

The THREE KEYS TO GENUINE LISTENING:

FIRST, ______

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SECOND, ______

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THIRD, ______

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