CHAPTER 10 DEVELOPING RELATIONS WITH CULTURALLY DIFFERENT OTHERS
Discussion questions:

1. How does the Internet and social networking sites influence intercultural communication? Give an example from your own experience.
2. What does social exchange theory say about altruism in human nature? Have you had relationships that were not mutually beneficial? How would it affect relationship outcomes?
3. In your culture, are long-term relationships or short-term relationships preferred? Why do you think this is so?

4. Do you feel it is a good thing to begin a business negotiation with small talk? Why? Is gift-giving between business partners acceptable in your culture?
5. What stereotypes do you think people have of Muslims? How might they inhibit effective communication with someone from that culture?
6. The social penetration theory identified four stages of relationship development: orientation, exploratory affective, affective exchange, and stable. Could you provide an example to illustrate the characteristics of each stage?
7. To what extent does Yum’s universalistic versus particularistic relationship dimension apply in your culture?
8. What are some issues a couple of intercultural marriage might encounter? Do you have any suggestions for resolving those problems?
9. In Western cultures like Australia, marriage is a decision of the individual. In other countries like India or China, marriage tends to be a decision of the family. Could you explain this in terms of individualistic versus collectivist cultural dimension?

Activities:

1. Intercultural friendships vary in a number of ways: selection (who can be a friend), duration (how long the friendship lasts), the number of friends and how long a relationship should exist before it can be considered a friendship.

In groups, discuss:
a) What do you consider are important characteristics of friendship?
b) What do you consider are important aspects for choosing a friend?
c) Are different aspects of characteristics of friendship influenced by culture?

2. List in order the reasons you think it is important to have social relationships. Now list in order the reasons you think it is important to communicate with those from different cultures. Share your list with that of your classmates and compare differences.
3. Relationship formation activity
Directions: Record your answers to the five questions below, and then discuss them with your classmates (probably in groups of five people).

a) Why do we develop relationships with other people?
b) How did you get to know your friends and romantic partners?
c) How do we form relationships with people with whom we want to become friends?
d) How do you get to know people who are different from you? Who come from different cultures, practice different religion, and are of a different race? Are these relationships different from those characterized by similarity?
e) What are some of the criteria we use to determine who we want to form friendships with and with whom we don't want to be associated?
4. Is self-disclosure between friends more conservative or less conservative in your culture? What is your attitude to self-centred speech? Form into groups of five people with your classmates and share your views with your classmates.
5. Culture shapes the way we think of ourselves and how we interact with others. The ability of the culture to mould our conception of what is natural or normal behaviour for females and males is immense. Along with different normative expectations are differences in communication patterns. Gather into groups of five people and discuss your culture’s expectations of gender roles.
6. Case Study

Aleisha was born in India but raised in Australia. Growing up in the Western culture, she acquired many Western values and customs. When she was 18, she married Raja, a man who was raised in India. It was an arranged marriage, and she had never met Raja prior to the marriage. They have been living in Australia since they were married two years ago. However, Aleisha is unhappy with her marriage because she feels Raja tends to dictate what she should do. Raja, on the other hand, has traditional Indian expectations of the relationship, and feels good about the marriage. He wants to have family with a lot of children, and then grandchildren.

Suppose Aleisha came to you for advice, what suggestions would you give her to address the problem?