E-I-E-I Oops!
Song – E-I-E-I Oops
Old MacDonald: My name is Old MacDonald, I’m a farmer, can’t you tell?
Farmer in the Dell: And I’m the one they often call The Farmer in the Dell.
Old MacDonald: Our farm is such a busy spot, It’s almost like a zoo!
Farmer in the Dell: The only thing that’s not so hot is that our cow won’t “moo!”
Mrs. Old MacDonald: I’m the Farmer’s wife, you know. This is such a lovely place!
Mrs. Farmer in the Dell: The only thing that’s not quite so , is the cow that’s a disgrace!
Old MacDonald: “What are we to do?” you ask,
Farmer in the Dell: We haven’t got a clue!
Mrs. Old MacDonald: But we’ll go ask our crazy pigs….
Mrs. Farmer in the Dell They’ll know just what to do.
Derio: Hey Hi Ho!
Hi Ho: Yes, Derio!
Derio: Why is a little pig like ink?
Hi Ho: I don’t know, why IS a little pig like ink?
Derio: Because he keeps going into a pen and then running out!
(they laugh and snort and slap their knees)
Wiggly: Hey Piggly
Piggly: Yes, Wiggly?
Wiggly:What would happen if pigs could fly?
Piggly: I don’t know! What WOULD happen if pigs would fly?
Wiggly: Bacon…would go up!
(all the pigs laugh and slap their legs as the music starts)
SONG #2 HAM IT UP
(DURING SONG – HAM IT UP)
Verse 1:
Cue: Hey, Curly! Curly: Yeah, Cue? Cue: Did you hear the one about the hog with no nose?
Curly: No! How’d he smell? ? Cue: How’d he smell?....Terrible! (laughing and snorting, etc)
Verse 2:
Oink: Hey, Snort! Snort: Yeah, Oink? Oink: I lost my baby pig! Snort: That’s awful! Why don’t you put an add in the paper? Oink: Don’t be silly…he can’t read! (laughing, snorting, etc.)
STOP RECORDING (The pigs take bows, blow kisses, “bravo” hands, etc and exit or move to one side or to the risers except for 2 pigs that stay with the farmers and their wives)
Old MacDonand: You’re all very funny it’s true, I laughed until I ache!
Mrs. Old MacDonand: (a little irritated) But telling jokes won’t make her “moo” (pointing to the cow). Now, think for goodness sake!
Farmer in the Dell: Maybe the sheep can help us out, with this bovine disaster!
Mrs. Farmer in the Dell: Let’s go give them a should, we’ll find them in the pasture.
Hi Ho: I doubt if the sheep will bring much aid, they are all so sad and blue
Derio: (disgusted) That’s because they’ve lost their maid. That Bo Peep is through!
SONG – LOST SHEEP
During song –
Aimless Sheep: Oh, Miss Bo Peep! We’re sorry if we offended you for any reason. We know we wander off aimlessly, wagging our tails behind us, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t loyal to you.
Pointless Sheep: That’s right B.P. If you come back to us, we’ll never give any more of our wool to that boy who lives down the lane. It’s all yours, Ms. Peep!
STOP RECORDING
(Bo Peep enters)
Bo Peep: (calling sweetly) Little Lambs! Little Lambs! Oh there you are!
Other Sheep: (running to hug her) Bo PEEP! I mean, Baa!
(sheep all exit or go to the risers. A big, cocky Rooster enters. He’s a friendly show off.)
Rooster: Cocka doodle doodle doodle, Doodle, doodle doo! Now, I’m the rooster! Your applause will do!
(He takes a big bow and everybody claps for him.)
Rooster: ( He looks around at all of the others and then bursts our with another line) Well, Cocka doodle doodle doodle, Doodle doodle doo! I heard you’ve got a heifer and that cow won’t moo!
Mrs. Old MacDonand: That’s right, Mr. Rooster, she just won’t sing.
Mrs. Farmer in the Dell: and believe me, we’ve tried everything!
Rooster: Well don’t worry folks I can save the day. Let me ask the ladies what they have to say!
SONG – CUTE CHICKS
Rooster: (Giving the cow a knowing elbow) Cocka doodle doodle doodle, Doodle doodle doo! I know YOU’RE something Guernsey so just go ahead and “MOO!”
(The cow just looks at him. Everyone is so disappointed.)
Chick #1: If we can’t solve the problem, there’s one thing left to try!
Chick #2: The mule can tell us what to do. He’s just that kind of guy!
(everybody agrees. Ad lib – “ why didn’t we think of that, etc.)(The mule enters and examines the cow)
Mule: Hee Haw! Hee Haw! Hee haw you all! I’m here to save the day! I’m really glad to heed your call! Now listen as I say. The problem with this cow is clear, she doesn’t feel part of the team! What’s obvious with this cow, is fear! And lack of self esteem!
(Everbody gasps, and says things like, “Of course! I knew it all along! Etc.”)
Animal #1: But what are we to do, old mule to make her feel much better?
Animal #2: Surely you must have a proper tool, You’re such a good go-getter!
Mule: Well… I don’t know that when I’m feeling down and sad about everything. If people say nice things to me it makes me want to sing!
Animal #3: Well that’s the greatest thought I’ve heard. Let’s try it here and now. If nice words will work for the rest of us, they might work on that cow!
(Everyone agrees and tentatively they try complimenting the cow.)
Animal #1: You have the warmest breath I know – and a most amazing udder! And should you speak I’m sure your voice will melt us all like butter!
Animal #2: Your hooves are always so clean and hard. Your hide is perfect too. I wish I had a swishy tail as practical as you!
Animal #3: Your bone structure is the best I’ve seen. Especially your shoulders and spine – and your eyes are so nice and wet and brown and twice as big as mine.
Animal #4: and the way you chew your cud……(pause) well, you DO have beautiful eyes!
Rooster: Come on Madame Cow, show us your MOOOOOsles.
Pig: Don’t you want to go to the MOOOOOvies?
Chicken: I hear the MOOOOOOOSSEketeers are playing.
The Cat with the Fiddle: Look at the MOOOOOn! Kind of makes you jumpy, doesn’t it?
Mrs. Old MacDonald: (to the audience and the cast) Come on everybody let’s encourage our beautiful cow by mooing along with her! Come on everybody! MOO! MOO! YOU’RE not mooooooing! Now, come on! MOOOOOOOOOO!
(Everybody starts to moo and looks at the cow)
Old MacDonald: (stopping everybody) Look! Look! Everybody!
(They see the cow getting ready to moo. They all softly encourage her.)
The Cow: (finally, tentatively at first and then full blast) Moo! Moo! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
All: Yahooooooooo!
SONG: THE WHOLE BARNYARD IS SINGIN’